


Shut Up and Kiss Me

by MultiverseOfShe



Category: Game of Thrones (TV), Game of Thrones RPF
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gwennik, Gwiles, Love, Open Relationship, RPF, Romance, This is so weird - I’m so sorry, gwendolaj - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:00:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 72,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23020621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MultiverseOfShe/pseuds/MultiverseOfShe
Summary: "If radio static had a face, it was this."
Relationships: Gwendoline Christie/Giles Deacon, Gwendoline Christie/Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 166
Kudos: 213





	1. Radio Static

**Author's Note:**

> I am by no means new to the fandom, but I'm new to writing fanfics. But it was bound to happen sooner or later, so here you go. 
> 
> Let me know if I should keep working on this dumpster fire and maybe I'll consider. 
> 
> This will be all RPF - you don't like that, you don't read it.

“At one point he was literally simulating sex with the stage and it didn’t seem weird.” Nikolaj chuckled and looked at his friend, who simply stared back. Her expression was blank and all she did was blink at him. His smile faltered and he put on a serious face. Inside he continued to laugh at himself, _he_ thought he was funny. "Wow."

That drew a laugh out of her, but it was short lived. 

Gwendoline and Nik continued with their interview, but she seemed... _off_. She never spoke to him, only to the interviewer, their playful banter cut short by whatever he had said to make her angry. That often happened, he’d say something stupid - or he'd be a ‘huge disappointment’ as Gwen would say - and she’d be miffed. But more often than not, he didn’t know exactly what he said, leaving him no choice but to pester her until she gave him an answer.

“That’s a wrap, thank you for your time today.” The interviewer said, gathering up her things. She gave them each a firm handshake before leaving, gushing to one of the crew members as they escorted her out. She gave a shy smile and a wave to Nik before leaving his sight.

He gave a kind smile in return, but nothing that looked too promising.

Gwen standing up had grasped his attention “Gwen-” Nik started.

“No, not now.” Gwen was already headed for the door, waving a hand dismissively over her shoulder at him.

He furrowed his brows and followed after, weaving through the halls. “Gwen, really. What did I say this time? I was just talking about Prince, you _love_ Prince.”

He caught her elbow but she brushed him off. “It’s nothing you said.”

“Oh, sure.” He rolled his eyes, but a smile played at his lips.

"It's _not_." She bit back at him, fire in her eyes. 

"Gwendoline."

"Nik," She sighed. "Seriously."

He followed her still. "Gwen."

She ignored him this time, her heels clicking with every step.

He trailed at her heels, poking and prodding her. In the back. "Gwen..." The shoulder. "Gwen." The ribs. "Gwen." They'd finally made it all the way to her dressing room, he couldn't resist one last jab to the ass, giggling like a naughty child.

She stopped in front of the door and stared at him, that same dead stare. If radio static had a face, it was this. The one face he could never read. But she shifted under his gaze, she squared her shoulders and looked down her nose at him. Damn her and her heels.

An abrupt pain across his left cheek stunned him, a sharp noise echoing down the corridor. Had Gwen really just slapped him? Nik gave a quick shake of his head in disbelief before her warm hands met with his cheeks. A moment of silence as they stared at each other, the corners of her lips turned up into a smug grin. Gwen leaned in for a kiss, but he grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked. She gasped quietly before a wicked grin spread across her face.

“Gwendoline.” Nik laughed, backing her against the wall.

She hooked her left leg around his right, forcing his hips against hers. “Just shut the fuck up and kiss me.”

He tugged at her hair again, his eyes grazing down her elegantly long neck, stopping where her shirt started. “Tell me what made you so angry and maybe I’ll consider.”

“I wasn’t angry,” Her voice was quiet and soft, almost endearing as she stroked his cheek.

“No? Then what was on your mind?” He kissed just below her ear, eliciting a sigh from her.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I wanted to ride your face.”


	2. Stop Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But it's my turn now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, you're here for the smut, so the smut you shall get. 
> 
> I'd like to start with I've never written smut before, so be gentle if it's not the best. I didn't expect to get this written so quickly so let's hope it's good. Woo!
> 
> Let me know what you think!

With the dressing room door shut and locked behind them, Gwen leaned her back against it. “We can’t keep doing this, Nikolaj.” 

He laughed, a joking drawl to his voice as he spoke. “A celebratory goodbye then. One final hurrah.” He paused for a moment, a telling grin on his face. “The dramatic affair that ended with a bang.” 

Gwen laid her head against the door and faked a vomiting noise. “You’re terrible.” 

“I quite like it. I quite like us.” He mocked. He looped his arm around her middle and kissed her fiercely. 

“And pathetic.” She chuckled and leaned into him. She kissed his lips softly, her smile horribly contagious. He couldn’t help but smile back. 

He feigned a serious look. “Now, get this thing off.” He started to tear at her shirt. He was too impatient for buttons today.

“Don’t rip it, you animal!” She swatted his hands away and started to undo the buttons herself with her long, swift fingers.   
  
“I don’t care if it rips. It’s hideous.” Nik grabbed the back of his own shirt, pulling it over his head and discarding it onto the counter. 

She scoffed. “You’re one to talk.” 

He laughed and shook his head, seizing her hands. “What’s wrong with what I wear?” He started undoing her buttons then, slowly, far too slowly for her liking.

“You look like you dress yourself in the dark.” She watched his hands rather than his face. 

“Maybe I dress for comfort, not style. Or maybe I just live to piss you off.” He got the last button undone and pulled the offending article off of her, tossing it in the same direction his shirt had landed. 

He groaned quietly at the sight of her and immediately pressed his mouth to her breasts. _Thank the gods she never wore a bra._ Her milky skin was never one to disappoint - always soft, always responsive, always smelled so fucking sweet - like strawberries and cream. 

Nik kissed and nipped and licked her exposed skin, his hands cupping her cute little breasts perfectly. He drew a plump nipple between his teeth, meticulously teasing her. He harshly rolled the other between his thumb and forefinger, tugging at it more softly. 

Gwen mewled and melted under his touch, her hands finding purchase in his hair and gripping lightly. “Maybe you-”

“Stop talking.” He stood up straight, even up to his tiptoes to kiss her. It was all teeth and tongues as their mouths fought one another, muffled sighs exchanging between them. 

Nik toed off his shoes, Gwen kicked off her heels, and together they stripped each other of their pants and underwear. Neither of them in the most flattering of undergarments, but they didn’t stay on long enough to make a worthy impression. 

“Put the heels back on.” He growled out. And with a spark of surprise in her eye, she obliged. 

Nik’s hands possessively grabbed her sides, attacking her with wet hot kisses. His fingers slid down to her ass, giving a firm squeeze and a slap before he hauled her up into his arms. She wrapped her legs around him instinctively, heels locking together.

He turned and started to bring her towards the nearest flat surface, but considering they had discarded all their clothes on the floor where they stood, Nikolaj nearly tripped over his own shoes on the way there. Gwen held onto him tighter, her short nails digging into his shoulder as he lurched forward. She stifled a laugh in her throat and closed her eyes, resting her cheek against his. She kissed the hollow of his cheek and moved her hand to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck. It calmed her racing heart only momentarily. 

He bit his lip and had set her down, her bare skin now on the counter, the cold contact causing her skin to break out with goosebumps. She pulled him down to kiss him again. Their kisses were wet and loud, possessive, wanton. Tongues slid together and hands ran rampant over each other. Hers down his toned chest and stomach. His over the smooth expanse of her thighs and up to her hips. Nikolaj froze as her hand wrapped around his eager cock, her deft fingers gliding up and down his length. 

He kissed languidly down the column of her throat as she stroked him. They’d been through the same motions time and time again, but they were never less than impressed with the reactions they derived from each other. Gwen grabbed his hand with her free one, dragging it back up to her breast. _So demanding_ , he thought jokingly. But he obeyed, pinching and pulling at her stiff nipple before stroking it gently with his thumb. He could almost feel her heart thudding away in her chest and the vibration of her moan rattling through her. 

Nik dropped his hand from her breast. Gwen groaned a protest but it was short-lived as his finger grazed her folds. She was just as wet as he had hoped. He found her sensitive bud and swirled it gently. 

“God, you really were thinking about me.” He grinned smugly. 

“Oh, just get on with it.” She draped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Her hips shifted closer, seeking release. 

He shoved his tongue into her mouth and his fingers into her cunt. Gwen locked her legs tighter, trapping his hand between them. He curled his fingers inside her and swallowed her breathy moans. The thick squelch of her cunt gripping his fingers caused his cock to twitch. 

He pulled away to watch her, her eyes closed and head laid back against the mirror. Her lipstick was ruined and undoubtedly it was all over him too. A quick glance to the mirror very quickly gave away his suspicions, the bright red smeared across his lips, his chin, a single lip print on his cheek. But she was far messier than him. Red stained kisses across her chest, down her neck - her skin flushed and splotchy. Her long legs had his fingerprints littering her skin from their previous endeavours. 

He grabbed her face, her cheeks squishing together. “Look at me.” When she didn’t respond he smacked her before gripping harder. “ _Look at me.”_

Gwen opened her eyes, focusing on his dark lusty gaze. 

He grinned. “Good.” He released his grip on her cheeks, brushing his thumb along her bottom lip. He drew his fingers all the way out before plunging them back in and picking up his pace, using the limited space between them. 

“Oh, _fuck.”_ She sighed, her mouth falling open. She grabbed onto his wrist and held his hand close. 

“Miss Christie, such a naughty mouth you have.” She took his thumb into her mouth, sucking it forcefully. With a grin, she bit him before sucking again. He withdrew it from her lips, a strand of saliva still connecting the two. 

Her walls started to tighten around his fingers, her hips moving in time with his hand. She mewled his name between moans, her chest heaving with uneven breaths. His thumb swirled around her clit, bringing her closer to release. 

Gwen drug her nails down his back, her eyes hardly open as her legs started to twitch. “Oh god, I-I’m gonna-”

A sharp whine was about to rip from her throat when he removed his fingers and stepped back. Her eyes flew open and stared daggers at him. She kicked off her heels and stood. Nikolaj bit his lip to hide a grin. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, were you close?” He feigned his unknowing innocence. 

She crashed her lips into his, her hungry rage evident when she bit down on his lip, almost hard enough to draw blood. With a few swift movements they were both on the floor, one of his hands on her hips and the other on his cock. He teased her entrance with the head of his length, rubbing her sweet juices up to her clit, then back. 

“You’re such an asshole.” She griped at him. 

“Is that so?” He sat back on his knees, stroking himself. He was still positioned just right. 

“If you aren’t planning on fucking me, I can leave.” She joked.

And with that, he buried himself inside her. Both of them moaning as he started to thrust slowly. Nikolaj pinned her body down, hands in her hair, planting kisses down her neck. Her collarbones. Between her breasts. Gwen let out a low, growly laugh. She dug her heel into the ground and shoved him to the side, rolling with him so she was on top. She grabbed his hands and held them over his head. 

“That’s adorable.” She leaned down and kissed his cheek, then nipped at his ear. “But it’s my turn now.” 

Her feverish pace didn’t surprise him. He had been in agony teasing her, his cocked throbbed in anticipation. Until now. She rode him with such manic want, her eyes shut in ecstasy. She was greedy, satiating her desires above his. But how could he care in this moment? A goddess above him, her perky breasts bouncing with every movement, her powerful legs hugging his sides as she thrust herself against him. 

Gwen gripped his wrists tighter, trying to find the right leverage as she ground her hips against his. His rough pubic hair scraping divinely against her soft and sensitive skin. His satisfied grunts sent tingles down her spine. She practically buzzed with excitement, her release drawing nearer. His cock hitting the hidden spot inside her that caused her hips to stutter from time to time. 

“Oh god, oh _fuck.”_

She sat up, releasing his hands as she brought her own hands up to her breasts, rolling her nipples between her fingers. His hands immediately gripped her hips, his heels dug into the ground, and he thrust upwards into her. The air filled with her breathy moans, his low bassy grunts, and the slap of her thighs against his. 

“ _P-Please, Nikolaj, I’m so close.”_ She panted, her eyes screwing shut. 

He dropped one hand between them and swirled her clit roughly, sending her over the edge with a few quick swipes. Gwen’s hands slapped against his chest, a rough, guttural moan escaping her as he continued to pump away. But his end came shortly after, exploding and filling her cunt with his hot cum. 

She slumped against him, her cheek nuzzled against his. He wrapped his arm around her, his other hand snaking into his hair. 

“You look so fucking ridiculous, you know that right?” Gwendoline whispered into his skin. 

He smiled and a deep chuckle rumbled in his chest. “You should see yourself.”

They laid in silence, each catching their breath as their heart rates slowed. She stayed on top of him, his cock softening inside her. Gwen slowly pulled away, looking down at him. “Thank you.” She smiled.

“Thank you too.” He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. 

“Even if I didn’t get to sit on your face, and even if you are the world’s biggest asshole, you never disappoint.” She laughed, brushing his hair back before placing a tender kiss on his swollen and lightly bruised lips. 

He shifted underneath her, a smug grin on his face. “I am pretty spectacular, aren’t I?” 

She scoffed. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

She got off of him and started to redress herself. Nik hauled himself up off the floor and did the same. Nikolaj grabbed a paper towel and started trying to rid himself of the Pat McGrath lipstick he was covered in. Gwen snatched his hand away from his face, instead using a makeup wipe like a sensible person. 

“Those are bad for the environment, y’know.” 

She raised her brows at him. “Do you want it off you or not?” 

That kept him quiet enough. She cleaned them both up well enough. She combed her fingers through her hair and put her heels on. 

Nik planted one final kiss on her cheek. “Let’s get out of here before someone comes looking for us.” 

Gwendoline smiled as Nik opened the door for her. She froze as soon as she caught sight of the man before her. Giles stood just outside the door, her bags and coat in hand. He looked Gwen up and down, sighing. “Right. Well the car’s been waiting.” He glanced at his watch, then back up at her. 

Gwen shot a look at Nikolaj, who was standing just behind the door, out of sight. “Thank you, I was just…” 

“Oh I’m not daft, Gwendoline. Nikolaj, your car is waiting outside too. Now come on.” He gestured with his head. 

Gwen gave a curt nod. She let Giles help her into her coat, and linked arms with him before following beside him down the hall. Nikolaj trailed a few paces behind them, the silence settling in before they exited the building.


	3. The Rare Occasion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh piss off."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... I wasn't expecting to write this, words just kept coming and they didn't stop. 
> 
> If this one makes Gwendolaj shippers take off running, I get it. This was weird, and weirdly sweet. If it flops, I have a backup - this will be replaced, and we'll all act like it didn't happen. Got it? Cool. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

The car ride home was silent, minus the overplayed music on the radio, which only acted as a minor distraction. Gwen shifted quietly, not only because this was awkward - it was awkward every time - but her pants were sticking to the inside of her thighs since she had a rather  _ brief _ clean up time after Nikolaj. She cleared her throat once they stopped in front of their hotel. 

“Thank you very much.” She tipped the driver and got out with Giles, leading him inside and avoiding the few people who managed to figure out where she was staying. 

They quietly got into the elevator together and as soon as they were alone she leaned against the railing, her head gently hitting the wall. Giles stared at the numbers, standing up straighter when it got to the 10th floor. The little bell sounded and the reflective doors slid open. Just a few strides down the hall and he unlocked and opened up their room, gesturing for her to go first. 

He followed in suit behind her, closing the door dramatically with his foot. “Okay, spill! I want details - and I want them to be disgusting!” 

Of course Giles knew. Gwendoline told him everything,  _ always _ . Luckily it didn’t hurt them the way it did Nukaaka and Nikolaj. An open relationship was an easy thing to manage when you didn’t have a marriage and kids to worry about. It also wasn’t quite the same considering Giles and Gwendoline were only in it for the stability they brought each other. Sure, they lived together, did domestic couple-y things, had sex on the rare occasion, but it was never like other relationships. They were balanced in an indescribable way. 

Gwen rolled her eyes and tossed her coat on the bed. “I’m showering before we talk.” She stopped only momentarily to step out of her heels, leaving them in the middle of the room - as she always did. 

Giles kicked off his loafers and hung up both his and Gwen’s jackets while she headed into the bathroom. 

“On the contrary, we’re talking  _ while _ you shower because there’s not a chance in hell that I’m waiting.” He poured them each a glass of wine and trailed after her. 

The shower was running, her clothes already piling up on the counter. “You’re wearing my socks.”

“And your shirt was buttoned up wrong.” He quipped, sitting on the floor, and leaning against the doorway. 

“Oh my god, was it?” Her eyes went wide and took the wine from him. 

He smiled, sipping his drink. “Just a guess. You couldn’t walk straight, so perhaps you weren’t seeing straight either.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh piss off.” Gwen set her wine aside, stepped into the scorchingly hot water, and washed herself - starting with the sticky mess between her thighs. 

Giles cleared his throat jokingly. “I’m waiting.” 

Gwen took a deep breath and relayed everything to Giles, in vivid detail, talking him through every touch, every kiss, every single feeling she had. By the time her story was over they were seated in their bed, both of them hugging a pillow to their chest, on their second glass of wine. Gwen was wrapped in the big fluffy robe provided to her by the hotel, her wet hair hanging at her cheeks. 

“Well it certainly sounds like you had fun.” He adjusted a bit and held his pillow in his lap. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go take care of something.” He set the pillow down beside him, his trousers tented.

Giles truly never got aroused from any of her stories of being with Nik. He’d usually give an “oh, that sounds nice” or “sounds like you had fun” with the occasional grumble about how he wasn’t getting any. Her surprise must have been evident on her face because a blush started creeping up his neck. “Must be the wine talking, Gwennie, I’m sorry.” He started to get up. 

She gently grabbed his elbow. “Let me. You never let me take care of you.” 

His cheeks were rosy now and the most he could do was nod. He settled back into the bed, his back against their various stacked pillows. Gwen swung a leg over and straddled his thighs. She unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, giving him little time to object before she started tugging them off him. 

“God, why did you wear these?” She guffawed. “They’re impossible!” 

He watched her struggle and laughed along. “These are my favorites, white pants are very in.” 

“ _ Giles _ !” She laughed still, leaning forward and gave him a quick kiss. “Help me.” She slapped his thigh. “Come on.” 

He finally put his hands against the bed and lifted his hips enough for her to slide the pants down to mid thigh. Unfortunately her own body was in the way, so she crawled to the end of the bed and yanked them off from the ankles, then tossed them into a chair where the rest of their dirty clothes seemed to go. 

He shoved down his boxers, rather unceremoniously, and Gwen tugged those off as well. “You’re certainly making me work for this.” She japed. 

He raised his hands defensively, facetiousness oozing through his serious expression. “ _ I  _ offered to take care of it on my own. It’s not  _ my  _ fault I’m irresistible.” 

She settled back into his lap, grinning. “You’re almost as bad as Nik.” 

Gwen placed her hands on his cheeks, leaning in to kiss his nose. She was far more gentle with him, the way he liked. There would be no slapping or hair pulling, unless she truly begged for it. But Giles hated hitting her, even if it brought her pleasure. 

He smiled and kissed her tenderly. A hand rested on her neck, stroking her jaw with his thumb. She grabbed his member with delicate fingers and moved her hand slowly. Truthfully, Gwen had been aroused just speaking of her time with Nikolaj, and soon enough Giles would figure that out. Giles watched her quietly, his breathing getting the slightest bit heavier as she ran her thumb over the head of his length. 

Gwen opened up her robe and scooted closer still. She then sat up on her knees - he happily took the opportunity to draw one of her nipples into his mouth, his hands caressing her back. Gwen let him have his moment before she slid down on his cock, engulfing him in one motion.

Giles sighed against her skin while she drawled his name, rolling her hips slowly. 

“I love you, Gwendoline.” 

“I love you too, Giles. Always.” She rested her forehead against his. 

They rocked together languidly, her fingers tracing odd shapes into his grey hair. His warm, gentle hands gliding up and down her back, her sides and thighs. Their lips met and tongues danced together. Everything was soft, tender, almost demure. It had certainly been a long time, but neither was in a rush to make it end. 

Gentle thrusts and passionate kisses became more ardent as the time drug on. Gwen came with a sharp gasp and quiet sob. Giles had silenced her with an onslaught of kisses as he followed her lead. His hips stuttered against hers and he spilled inside her with a satiated grunt. 

“God, you’re wonderful.” He smiled, his lids and limbs heavy. 

She placed a kiss on his cheek before resting her head on his shoulder. “As are you. More wonderful than I can put into words.” She shut her eyes, still playing with the hair at the back of his head.

“Don’t get all soft on me now, Miss Christie.” 

She smiled. “Never, Mr. Deacon.” 

“Don’t make me propose.” Giles jokingly glared down at her.

Gwen sat up and gasped, a hand flying up to her mouth. “I have never heard a threat as horrible as that.” She chuckled and shook her head. “You’d never.” 

“God no.” He rubbed small circles on her back. “For you, I’d live a thousand lifetimes and never marry you.” 

Her heart swelled in her chest. “You’re too kind.” She kissed the corner of his mouth. “Thank you.” 

He chuckled quietly. “We do have the weirdest way of showing we care.” 

Gwen nodded her agreement and smiled. “That we do.” 

“Let’s get cleaned up and order room service.”    


“Well you most definitely know the way to my heart.” She carefully crawled off of him and willed her legs to take her back to the bathroom. 

They cleaned up and dressed in their pajamas before crawling back into bed. Gwen got comfortable on her side before looking at Giles expectantly, her arms open, gesturing him closer. He took off his glasses, setting them on his nightstand, then turned back and smiled. He wrapped his arms around Gwen’s middle and pulled himself closer, his head on her chest. 

Her steady heartbeat was more comforting than any words that could be spoken between the two of them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't think Giles is the sweetest little jelly bean, you are MISTAKEN my friend. Gwen, girl, I get it. It took me a while but I get it.


	4. Dress Nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Is that so hard to understand?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well you all survived the Gwiles chapter. I quite enjoyed it and there might be a few more to come. If you didn't enjoy it, we'll be getting back to our regularly scheduled Gwendolaj.  
> (Also, a big thank you for everyone's kind comments on the last chapter, it made my heart incredibly happy!)
> 
> I have some divine ideas brewing for the next chapter, so stay tuned. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Gwen’s phone buzzed late the next day. Among all her notifications, it was the most thrilling to see.

_‘Meet me in the lobby in an hour. ~N’_

Gwen chuckled. Why he always felt the need to sign his name or initial, she’d never know. 

_How ominous and not at all subtle._

N: _Have you ever known me to be subtle? ~N_

G: _Good point. Where are we going?_

N: _Does it matter? Dress nice. ~N_

G: _How nice?_

He left her on read. The three little dots appeared and disappeared multiple times before she set her phone down. She started going through her suitcase to find something to wear. But her options were fairly limited considering she hadn’t planned for any nice dinners out. 

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Gwen glanced to Giles, who was laying in bed, scrolling through social media on his phone. 

“Did you order room service again?” 

He lowered his phone and looked at her over the rims of his glasses. “No.”

She got up and went to the door. Upon opening it, she saw Nikolaj, dressed dashingly in his black slacks and blue button-down. His smile lit up the entire room and she couldn’t help but beam back at him.

“Well hello there.” 

“Hi.” Her pale brows furrowed. “What are you doing here? How did you find my room? What happened to an hour?” 

“Selfies with the women at the front desk get you a long way when you’re me. And as for the hour I was just...in the neighborhood.” He grinned. 

She scoffed and went to turn away, but he quickly grabbed her around the waist and collided his lips with hers. Backing her into the room, she tried to push him away by the shoulders. But Nik persisted, attempting to shove his tongue between her lips. 

“N-Nik!” She squealed and shoved his face away from hers just as they stumbled into Giles’ view. They both immediately froze. 

Giles blinked and simply stared at the idiotic duo before him. In their struggle, Gwen failed to notice Nikolaj’s hand shoved down the back of her pants, fingers gripping her ass. Gwen had the heel of her hand pressed into his cheekbone, forcing him to look away. Nik’s other hand way possessively grabbing at her side. 

Giles coughed out a laugh and snapped a quick photo of them. “That’s a keeper.” He shoved himself out of bed and walked past them. “I’m going to go down to the lobby to see what kind of drinks they have. Don’t dirty up the bed.” He smirked and left the room after swiping his wallet and room key off the table. 

As the door clicked shut, Nik slowly looked to Gwen, who had the fires of hell burning in her eyes.

“Remove your hand from my trousers.” 

He quickly did so, then stood up straight. “I um, I apologize.” 

“You knew he was staying with me. How horrible would it look if we had separate rooms? You know we’re still a couple right? It’s not just _you._ And I know for you it’s not just _me_ either.”

“I don’t know, Gwen, I’m sorry. I always just assume you’re alone.” He glanced around the room. 

She looked him up and down. “Well now I know what to wear.” Gwen started grabbing a suit from the closet area. 

She sighed and calmed herself. She shouldn’t be mad at him, he’s just a lust-stricken fool exactly like she is. He just doesn’t think things through all that thoroughly. 

“Maybe you should wear a dress.” Nik sat at the foot of the bed. “It’s been a little while since I’ve seen you in a dress.” 

Gwen looked at him over her shoulder, a brow raised. “That so?” 

He gave his best puppy dog eyes. “Please.” 

She rolled her eyes and feigned a sigh. “I suppose.” She grabbed a dress from her suitcase along with some cute panties that Nik didn’t quite catch sight of. 

She walked into the restroom, then peeked her head out and smirked. “Don’t get too comfortable on that bed. Giles and I put it to good use last night.” She shut the door behind her just as she heard Nik swiftly stand. 

She undressed and looked at what she had picked. The dress was loose fitting and went all the way down to her shins. The sleeves were slightly full and went just below her elbows. She slid on her lacy underwear - she didn’t have an adequate reason to bring them but she always felt the need… just in case. She skipped on a bra, she was far more comfortable without one. She then zipped the dress up all the way, though all the way was still roughly at nipple level, the bottom of the zipper high enough on her thighs that an arm raise would expose her. 

She applied just a hint of blush, red lipstick, and some mascara. She took her time though the tasks were simple, using gentle hands and small strokes. Taking time to care for yourself is the most important thing you can do. She took a brush to her hair and smoothed it down a bit, the LA heat doing the worst possible things to it. 

Gwen stepped back and admired herself in the mirror. _God, please don’t let him smear the lipstick this time._ Maybe a little wouldn’t hurt. _If he doesn’t say anything fucking stupid._ She chuckled to herself and walked out. 

Nik stood at the window, admiring the city lights - or what he could see of them. He always loved places with a view or something entirely closed off from the world, there was no in between that he truly enjoyed. It was a good thing Gwen agreed with him on that, whenever they stayed together - _which was never often, let us be very clear -_ they could always find something they could both appreciate. Gwen watched him for a moment before slipping on her heels and shoving her lipstick, phone, and wallet into her tiny purse. 

“I want to wait for Giles to come back up. If that’s alright.” She walked up beside him, resting a hand on his back. 

He turned to face her, then stepped back up to look her up and down. The moment his eyes met hers again, his face broke out into an immediate smile. The corner of his eyes crinkled, his teeth showing from behind his incredibly soft lips. Fuck, he was handsome. 

Gwen was pulled from her thoughts as he kissed her cheek. “You look amazing.” 

“Thank you.” She smiled softly, then followed his original gaze out at the city. It wasn’t anything like home, but it was always welcoming. 

The quiet _bing_ of the key card unlocking the door drew their attention away, like dogs to a doorbell. Giles stepped into the room and glanced them over. He was empty handed, clearly the lobby didn't have anything to his liking. 

“You’re going out.” He said flatly. 

“We are. Nik said somewhere fancy. I can bring you back something.” She walked over and draped her arms around him. 

“I was thinking of going out myself. I got a call from _him.”_ He waggled his brows suggestively. 

Gwen squealed. “Oooh! _Hiiimmm!_ You’ll have to let me know how it goes. Back by one, I’ll bring you dessert.”

“I’ll bring something back for you too.” Giles kissed her cheek and rubbed her back. “Be safe, have fun. If you need me, call.” 

“Same to you.” She kissed both his cheeks. 

She looked back to Nikolaj. He was standing there, hands shoved in his pockets, perfectly still. He was staring at them as if each of them had three heads and eyeballs on their fingertips as they were performing an interpretive dance about rebirth. She cackled and grabbed his arm, dragging him out of the hotel room. 

“Why on earth does your face look like that?” 

Nik blinked rapidly. “I don’t know how he’s so… okay with this. You’re both so incredibly strange.” 

Gwen scoffed. “Us? You’re the one who decided to get married, have babies, and you’ve _stayed_ married all these years. You’re the strange one.” She led them both into the elevator. 

“So you two just...do whatever-”

“And whoever.” She interrupted.

Nik nodded slowly. “Yes...and whoever you want, but at the end of the day you just come back to each other?” 

“Is that so hard to understand?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to apologize now for any mistakes in that mess. I'll go through it tomorrow morning and fix it. 
> 
> Love you guys!


	5. Too Romantic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well don't do that, it just looks suspicious."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have been so incredibly lovely, I can't thank you enough!
> 
> I had a hell of a time writing this chapter, so I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Nikolaj opened the passenger door for Gwen, she gave a nod as a thank you and got in. Nik jogged around and got into the driver’s seat. 

“Oh god, you haven’t driven us anywhere in a long time.” She buckled her seat belt and pulled it tight. 

He laughed. “Don’t you trust me?”

“Not when you don’t keep your eyes on the road.” 

He looked over at her, that love-stricken look again. “Maybe if I didn’t have a beautiful woman distracting me.” 

Gwen simply chuckled. “Come on, let’s get out of here before people start figuring out who we are.” 

Nik gave a little nod and took off down the street. She couldn’t play into his sappiness, she just wasn’t like that. She could be soft and tender when she wanted to be, but the ooey gooey nonsense wasn’t her forte. Nik knew what Gwen was like, that’s why he liked her. Though Gwen realized sometimes she has to compromise the tiniest bit. 

She gently grabbed his hand. “You look very dashing tonight, I don’t know if I told you that.” 

She watched a smile spread across his face, but he didn’t take his eyes off the road. “Thank you.” 

Gwen’s phone let off a quiet  _ ding _ . She hesitantly took her hand from Nik’s and grabbed the device from her purse. 

Giles:  _ You’re wearing your cute underwear.  _

Gwen:  _ Did you need to borrow them?  _

_ I can run them back to you! Let me just get these pesky fingers out of me.  _

*Suggestive emojis followed*

_ The red lace ones are still in my bag!  _

Giles: *Vomiting emoji*

_ I think I’ll pass this time.  _

Gwen:  _ Are you sure? I think HE will like them.  _

*Prayer hands, so many prayer hands*

Giles:  _ I’ll think about the red ones.  _

*A winky face*

_ They make me feel powerful. _

Gwen:  _ Feel it bitch! _

Gwen smiled softly and put her phone away, grabbing Nik’s hand again and holding it firmly in her lap. 

Nikolaj drove them in silence. But their silence was comfortable, it was hardly ever tense or awkward. They communicated in small touches, looks, body language. They had entire conversations in front of their co-stars without ever speaking a single word. Oftentimes Nik would brush his hand along her back when he was about to leave, that was usually her cue to follow a few minutes later. Those were by far the most riveting moments in their relationship, sneaking around their close friends and co-workers to be perverted, immodest… unscrupulous. Even now it was exciting to keep it a secret, though they were nowhere near subtle. 

Nik pulled up to the restaurant, then hopped out and opened Gwen’s door for her, offering his hand. She took it and carefully stepped out, very strategically holding her purse at her thighs to keep from flashing the people outside. Luckily, for once, no paparazzi. Hopefully no one would tip them off to where they were. Nik handed off his keys to the valet driver and walked her inside. 

“Reservations for Gwendoline.” 

The cute, brunette hostess grabbed two menus and smiled. “Right this way.” She gave Nik an up and down glance before leading them towards the back of the restaurant. 

Gwen most definitely didn’t miss Nik’s eyes drifting down the woman’s long hair to her ass, she couldn’t blame him though, she did have a rather nice ass. His eyes lingered there until Gwen shoved an elbow into his ribs. 

She lowered her voice. “Why did you put it under my name? You didn’t even know if I would say yes.”

“Hey, my name could be Gwendoline.” He snickered, keeping a hand on her lower back as they walked. “But truthfully, I knew you wouldn’t say no to me.” 

She rolled her eyes and took a seat somewhat across from him once they were shown to their booth. It was a corner booth that curved around in a nice semi-circle. It was rather delightful back here, the lights dimmed and the orchestral music quiet. Candles were lit in the middle of the table, giving a rather romantic feel. 

They both ordered a glass of wine when the waiter arrived and he promptly left after doing so. 

Gwen started to panic. This was  _ too _ romantic. Nik’s usual idea of romance was getting mediocre food and bantering for a few hours… then getting a fancy dessert and eating it off of each other wherever they were staying that night. Or getting wine drunk while watching horribly gory or raunchy movies. This was unlike him and it put a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

Nikolaj simply stared at her, caressing her hand across the table with that  _ look _ in his eye. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to be here with her, to spend any time with her was a gift. She was wonderfully intelligent and wise beyond her years. She always had something witty sitting at the tip of her tongue or a sultry look that made him weak in the knees. He would do anything to make her laugh - well, it was more of a cackle - but it is the most infectious, hilarious, genuine laugh he’s ever heard. 

“Nik?” 

He blinked a few times and focused on her face. “Yes?” 

Her eyes were wide and her pale eyebrows were knitted together with worry. He could tell without even looking that she was fiddling with her dress under the table. 

His heart immediately started to race. “What’s wrong?”    
  
“What’s all this about?” 

“I just wanted to treat you to a nice dinner, we never go out to places like this.” 

Her expression eased a little, the tension in her shoulders relaxing. “Oh.” She loosened the death grip she had on his hand. “Okay.” 

He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “Don’t worry.” He whispered. “It’s just you and I, we’ve been alone thousands of times.” He gave her hand a squeeze and sat up straight. “Besides, it’s not like I’d bring you somewhere nice to tell you something important. We’re both criers, Gwen.” 

Gwen felt herself sigh in relief. A smile spread across her face. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” 

They let go of each other to read through the long list of items to choose from, struggling in the low light. Nik had swiped one of the candles off the table and held it closer to his menu. In his concentrated state, trying to translate a few things in his head as he read, he managed to spill some of the hot wax onto the finely decorated paper. 

Gwen gasped and immediately started laughing, loudly. She covered her mouth, eyes wide, cheeks and ears already burning up at her outburst. Nik cursed in his native language and set the candle down. He grabbed the edge of the wine colored tablecloth and wiped off the menu. 

“Nikolaj!” She whisper-shouted at him. “What on earth are you doing?! It’s going to look like someone wiped their cum on that.” She couldn’t help snickering. 

Nik stifled his laughter and shook his head. “Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He scrubbed at both items as best he could, making sure it didn’t look suspiciously like anything else. 

She glanced around to make sure she hadn’t caught the attention of anyone sitting nearby. Coast was clear, though she knew for a fact that at least one person in here had looked over and saw them. 

She smiled at him still, punching him gently in the arm. “This is why we can’t have nice things.” 

“Maybe we should just stain the cloth more so that one stain doesn’t look so out of place.”    
  
“That’s a horrible idea.” She went back to looking at the food options. 

“Is it?” His hand crept to her thigh, stroking the fabric there. 

She shot him a very specific look. It didn’t mean  _ no _ , it meant  _ proceed with caution _ . He tugged the fabric aside until her thigh was bare. He left his hand there while they ordered. Nikolaj had ordered a fancily prepared hunk of meat with vegetables. Gwen had ordered something more along the lines of a pasta bowl large enough for a family of 6 with various seafood items and vegetables thrown in there. 

Luckily when the waiter came, he also brought their wine. Nik took a sip off of his and nodded. “Good year.” 

Gwen scoffed. “And what year is that, Nikolaj?” 

He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped. 

“Well?” 

He barked out a laugh. “Shut up.” 

“You’re impossible.” She smiled, but she gasped quietly as his fingertip stroked her through her panties. “Nik.” She quickly glanced around.    
  
“Well don’t do that, it just looks suspicious.” 

She gave a little nod and leaned back, sipping her drink and shifting her knees further apart. He used his deft fingers to move aside the fabric and stroke along her folds. 

Nikolaj made light conversation while he continued to touch her, talking about the interviews they did and the questions he did and didn’t like - though he stayed quiet enough that the people nearest to them couldn’t discern what he was saying. But Gwen couldn’t focus when his fingers were so deliciously stimulating. How calm he was staying made her feel so... _ filthy.  _ With the thrill of this situation, it didn’t take her long to get wet. 

He maneuvered closer and snaked his hand further between her legs. He smiled and kissed her cheek, then plunged two of his fingers inside her. Gwen had to bite the inside of her cheek, a shaky breath leaving her nose. 

Nik continued to talk away as if he wasn’t doing this to her right now, occasionally taking a sip of wine and glancing around the restaurant. He thrusts his fingers into her, his thumb twisted at an odd angle to circle around her clit. Gwen made a quiet noise at the back of her throat, her hand now gripping at his thigh. She was certain he’d have bruises there by tomorrow. 

He grabbed her knee and pulled her legs open more, pausing for a moment as a couple walked by. He looked at her with what could only be described as a wicked grin. He withdrew his fingers from her slowly. 

Gwen’s hand grabbed his wrist. Her voice a husky growl. “You finish what you started before I jump you right here at the table.” 

His brows shot halfway up his forehead, then relaxed. “As you wish.” 

Nik then proceeded to shove three of his fingers back inside her cunt, moving them as briskly as he could without anyone realizing what he was doing, keeping his movements small. He rubbed her clit harshly and curled his digits inside her. Gwen was already close, and getting increasingly closer. Her chest was starting to rise and fall unevenly, her walls starting to tighten around his fingers. She kept her hold on his wrist, gripping it tighter as her legs started to twitch. 

She fought to keep her eyes open.  _ “Oh fuck.”  _ She whispered, a rasp behind it. 

With a few more strokes she was sent flying over the edge of her orgasm, a sharp gasp ripping from her throat. Nik’s eyes widened and he started to pull his hand away, but Gwen slammed her thighs together, trapping his hand there and crushing it painfully.

Both of them looked up just as the waiter walked arrived with their food, setting it down in front of them. “Is there anything I can get you?” 

Gwen quickly sat forward, putting her elbows on the table and hoping to god that she wasn't blushing from head to toe. Nik smiled as if his hand wasn’t in immense pain. “No, thank you, it all looks wonderful.” 

“Any more wine?” 

“None for me, thank you. Gwendoline?” He looked at her expectantly, though he could still feel the pulsing of her cunt. 

Gwen looked over at him, her thigh shaking aggressively under the table, her shoulder twitched. “Please.” She nodded. 

“Another for the lady.”    
  
The waiter nodded eagerly. “Of course.” He briskly walked back to the kitchen. 

Nik looked at her again. “For god’s sake, woman, release my hand!” 

She swiftly opened her thighs and pulled his hand away. “ _ You…  _ You are in  _ so _ much trouble.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, it's getting late. I'll edit any mistakes in the morning. Just assume I know what I'm talking about. Also just assume I know how the English language works. 
> 
> Love you guys!


	6. Unfair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We could change that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went for no smut this chapter, it's kind of just a little filler of... whatever. *shrug* 
> 
> A lot of 'what if's. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Gwendoline and Nikolaj finished their meals, with her ignoring his clearly tented pants until it went away. She wouldn’t give into his quiet encouragements, his pleas to give him the same release. She held her own, even shooting him a glare when he tried to touch her inner thigh again. She ordered a dessert she knew Giles would like and got it to-go. 

“I meant it. You’re in trouble.” She said as they got back into Nik’s car. 

“Was it at least a little fun? You certainly looked like you were enjoying yourself.” He smirked, rubbing her thigh as he settled into his seat. 

“No, it actually riddled me with anxiety. But it’s hard to be anxious with your fingers inside of me.” She bit her lip, hand rested on top of his. 

Nik started driving her back to her hotel. They had stayed and talked until almost midnight. They had teased each other and joked all night long while they finished off their food and wine. He had such a wonderful time, he just hoped she had too, even if she was a little angry for that… rather public display. 

“Nik… truly, you can’t hold my hand like that when we’re out.” 

He glanced over at her as they pulled up to a red light. “What the hell do you mean?” 

“Oh, come on. You can’t be that simple. If someone should see us, word would get around faster than spoiler rumors. We’re not subtle. I know that I didn’t stop you, so that’s… partially my fault.” 

“Why didn’t you stop me then?” 

Gwen stayed quiet, staring out the window. 

“Why?” 

She hesitated, a familiar burning at the back of her eyes. “Because I was too afraid that you brought me there to… tell me something.” 

“Did you think I was divorcing my wife?” 

“I don’t know, Nik, you do stupid things all the time!” 

“Well maybe I  _ was _ going to tell you something, but you made me chicken out because you were looking at me like I was psychotic.” 

She stopped, taken aback. “What were you going to tell me…?” 

He swallowed hard. “That I love you.” 

She sighed. She could hardly say that she was surprised. 

“I do, Gwen.” 

“You love the idea of me. You and I would never work the way you want it to.” 

“Of course we would! We’ve been best friends since day one. We didn’t have to work for the chemistry like everyone else did, it just  _ happened _ . I, I moved around seating arrangements to sit by you during award ceremonies - every year - even when they told me no. I called you to congratulate you every time the show was nominated for something.” Nikolaj gripped the steering wheel tighter, never taking his eyes off the road. His voice was now dripping with malice. “I stayed late nights with you to give you acting tips because you were nervous on camera. I have spent weeks upon weeks with you in different countries when we weren’t even filming together. I came to rehearsals just to give you encouragement and a shoulder to cry on when you were overwhelmed. I was even there when they cut your hair and you cried.” His voice broke at the last word. “I hate seeing you cry.” 

He fell silent, his breath shaky. 

Gwen sniffled and shook her head. “I’m not denying that you love me… I-I love you too. But it won’t work… You like football, and hiking, and going on month long journeys in the middle of nowhere to freeze your balls off on a glacier. Nikolaj, when have you  _ ever _ seen me go out into the wilderness? I like fashion, and I like art, live performances, modeling. You would rather kill yourself than sit through a fashion show unless I was in it.” 

He scoffed. “That’s why we compromise. I go to an art exhibit with you, you come to a game with me. I take you on a hike, you take me to a fashion show. If we do it together, will it really be all that miserable?” 

Gwen responded with a quiet ‘no’ and reached for his hand. Nik sighed softly and held her hand tightly. 

“I’m sorry, Gwen. I just want us to work… so badly.” 

“So do I… You’re still married though. Everyone is calling me a homewrecker.” 

“You’re not.” 

Gwen scoffed. “Obviously I know that. But no one would believe that your wife is okay with this-”

“Because she’s not.” 

“I know she’s not. I’m not convinced your girls are either.” 

Nik nodded slowly. “They’re coming around to the idea. But when Nukaaka gets angry or upset, they take her side.” He pulled up to the hotel, turning to face her better. 

She sighed. “I’m so glad I don’t have any kids.” 

Trying to lighten the mood, Nik japed. “We could change that.” 

Gwen narrowed her eyes at him, then slipped her hand out of his grasp. “Goodnight, Nik.” She got out and closed the door a little harder than she intended. 

She paused for a split second, wondering if she should apologize.  _ No, you don’t need to _ do _anything_.  She lifted her chin and made her way back up to her hotel room. She unlocked it and let herself inside, placing the cake she brought Giles in the miniature fridge. 

She sat on the edge of her bed and felt the warm tears she had been holding back roll slowly down her cheeks. This was all unfair. It was unfair that Nikolaj thinks everything will work out in some fairy tale fashion. It was unfair to Nukaaka and his daughters that he loved her. It was unfair to Giles that she loved Nik back. It was unfair to Nik how selfish she was in the beginning of their relationship, she had flirted with him relentlessly even though she knew he was married. 

What if they did have a baby together? Gwen had always bounced the idea back and forth. When she was younger, she probably wouldn’t have gotten the chance to get through theater school if she had a baby. After that, she went through a rather… rough partying stage, but with a baby then she wouldn’t have met Theo Adams, Patrick Wolfe, she probably wouldn’t have met Katie and Giles either. Her entire life would have been different.

But now… her career has just gotten started, she just ended one of the biggest projects she’ll ever take part in. She was accepting roles in movies and even took the role of Titania at the Bridge Theater that would run for nearly three months. There was no way  _ now _ would be a good time. But she couldn't help but imagine herself, all fat and pregnant, 15 feet in the air, suspended in a silk swing.  _ Fucking ridiculous. A flying whale, how wonderful.  _ What if soon was the right time? And if it was, would it be Giles’ or Nik’s? Would she get a surrogate? Would she even be able to carry a baby if she tried? 

_ What the fuck am I even thinking?  _

Gwen got up and went into the bathroom, shaking her head at herself. She kicked her heels off on her way there, again leaving them in the middle of the floor. She closed the door behind her and put her hair into a low bun. Deliberately and gently, she removed her makeup and wiped the drying tears from her cheeks.  _ You’ve no reason to cry _ , she told herself.  _ You’re upset over nothing.  _ She started up the bath, making sure it was nice and hot before plugging it. Her dress and underwear were stripped off and laid on the counter. 

Gwendoline stared at herself in the mirror. Shoulders broad and covered in freckles. Her breasts, petite and perky, covered in love bites from both Nik and Giles - mostly Nik. Her stomach was lean, but not as well toned as it was during her constant training for Game of Thrones. She was especially bloated now, that was a lot of pasta she had eaten. Pausing her self-admiration, she turned to the side and placed a hand on her bloated lower stomach. How strange and unusual would it be to have a baby in there? She took her hand away.  _ Very.  _

She sighed and got into the tub. A small and pathetic excuse of a tub, she was scrunched up uncomfortably to fit her body. She decided on having her knees out of the water, her heels getting closer and closer to touching the back of her thighs. She sunk down so her shoulders were covered by the water. Her muscles slowly relaxed, her breathing becoming more calm. 

A knock on the bathroom door made her close her eyes in frustration. “Yes?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this wasn't the most exciting. Anything and everything is stressing me out. So why not have a little stress write where Gwen is ~also stressed~? 
> 
> Anyways, love you guys!


	7. What Do You Want?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Am I that transparent?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another no smut chapter that I started very, very late last night. I have no idea what this is, words just kept coming. I hope they make some sort of sense. 
> 
> Let me know what you think.

Giles slowly opened the door and gave a quiet chuckle at Gwen’s current state. She had most of her legs out of the water, her shoulders tensed, her eyes narrowed and trained on him as soon as he peeked his head inside. “Nik followed me upstairs. Wouldn’t take no for an answer. He’s waiting in the hall.” 

Gwen got quiet. Her body relaxed again, though her heart raced at the thought of having to explain herself to Nik. “I was a bitch to him.” She swirled her finger at the surface of the water. 

“He said you were upset.” He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. “Everything alright?” He kneeled beside the tub and pushed a couple hairs out of her face. 

She grabbed his hand and held it against her cheek. “He brought me to a nice restaurant and it was really romantic. He was holding my hand. And… and he kept looking at me-”

“The way he usually does?” 

She nodded. “It was all a little much.” 

“You know he loves you.” He stroked her cheek with his thumb. “I know you love him too.” 

“It wouldn’t work, Giles.” 

He propped his elbow on the edge of the tub, his chin on his fist. “I think you’re holding back so it  _ doesn’t  _ work. A little bit of self sabotage.” 

Gwen blinked at him.  _ Oh my god I’ve been doing this to myself.  _

“Oh come on, you can’t be noticing this just now. Before you realized you loved him you did everything together. You spent 3 extra weeks in Croatia when you weren’t filming there anymore. You played his wife in a play  _ he _ wrote. You helped him learn his lines every season because he’s horrible. You even watched a football game with him and wore a jersey.” He smiled. “But when you put together what it all meant… you stopped doing that as much. He’s been compensating for your lack of effort.” 

She sniffled and sat up. “I thought it would put distance between us. Because he and I, it’s not right. He’s still married.” 

“Not the best marriage, if you ask me.” He stood and grabbed a towel, holding it out to her. 

Gwen carefully stood and got out, water droplets beading and rolling down her body, onto the floor. “I don’t know what he’s planning on doing. Nukaaka already hates me, if he  _ divorced  _ her because of me. I think she might send someone to murder me.” She dried herself off hastily and threw her robe on. 

“She’d do it herself.” Giles chuckled. “You know she would.” 

“Giles.” She gave him a look, the pleading desperation seeping into her words. “I don’t know what I’d do if he divorced her.” 

He pulled her into his arms, locking them around her tightly. “Well, then I guess he and I would have to share you.” 

She sighed, though she was slightly amused. “You’re such an asshole.” 

“Do you want me to go so you two can talk?”

“No, no, that’s not fair. I’ll get dressed and go talk with him.” She rubbed his shoulder and closed her eyes. 

“I love you.” 

She tightened her grip on him. “I love you too.” 

Giles pulled away, hands on her sides.. “Now go talk to him.” 

“Thank you.” She pressed a soft kiss to his lips. 

Gwen got dressed while Giles got ready for bed, she slipped on some simple clothes, flats, and a knit sweater. Would she discuss a baby with Giles when she got back? What on earth would he think?  _ Are you really considering a baby? _

She grabbed her purse and walked into the hall.  _ Let’s save those thoughts for later.  _ Nik was sitting against the wall a short distance from the door. He glanced over as she shut the door behind her. 

“Hey.” 

Gwen walked over and held her hand out to him. “Come on, let’s go for a walk.” 

He took her hand and stood. “I wanted to apologize. I know this has all been very confusing.” They both got into the elevator, leaning against the same railing. 

She gently grabbed his hand, only for a moment though. “I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have been so angry…” 

“I think you and I both need to figure out what we want.”

Gwen nodded and stayed quiet as they descended to the ground floor. 

_ Oh shit I don’t even know what I want.  _

_ I want Nik. But I don’t want to be the reason he leaves his wife. I still want Giles. But I don’t want either of them to have to share, that’s wildly unfair. I want to keep Nikolaj as a friend if it will make things easier - though that doesn’t stop me from loving him, and he wouldn’t stop loving me either… I don’t know if he was even kidding when- _

“Gwen.” 

She looked up. Nik was holding the elevator door open, his brows furrowed. She offered a nearly inaudible apology and stepped out. 

They walked out of the hotel and were hit by the cool air. Gwen took a deep breath, glanced to her left and right, then started walking. Nik followed alongside her, his hands shoved in his pockets. 

“Where are we going?” 

“I don’t know - somewhere, anywhere.” 

“There’s a park nearby.”

Gwen nodded. There certainly wasn’t going to be any places open at this hour, and hopefully no one would be out this late to see them. So they walked. In silence. The occasional car passing them, a random person here and there, but no one that seemingly recognized them. 

The quiet was nice, the cold was refreshing. But Gwen’s mind was drawing blanks on how to start a single sentence, despite how normally articulated she was. 

Nik cleared his throat. “I wanted to say sorry for the… implied, um, impregnation of, of you - and the fact that it would be me-” 

“Oh good lord stop talking!” She laughed. He looked down at his shoes. Gwen sighed in mild content and nudged him. “The fact you said that took me by surprise, and it would have been funny in another situation. But you had already put me so on edge, I reacted a bit poorly.” 

“That’s… understandable. I’m sorry I was so careless at the restaurant. I know we have to be more careful now. It’s just impossible to keep my hands off of you.” 

“And your eyes, apparently. Do you know how many photos are floating around where you’re just staring at me with that same dumbstruck look?” 

He chuckled. “Am I that transparent?” 

“About as transparent as a window.” 

“Damn.” He smiled with a shake of his head. 

“Why did you bring me there to tell me that you loved me?” 

Nik’s smile faded a bit. “I never told you before… and I wanted to make it special.”    
  
“But… Nukaaka? You’re still married, Nik, I don’t know how many times I have to-”    
  
“I’m not.” 

Gwen stopped dead in her tracks. “What?”    
  
He sighed. “She filed for a separation, there’s - Danish laws, but when I agreed… We filled out the last of the papers before I came to LA. I didn’t know how to tell you.” 

She wrapped her arms around him tightly and shut her eyes. 

He rubbed slow circles on her back. “She was jealous, and she had the right to be. What I was putting her through wasn't right. But it's okay, or, it will be." 

Nikolaj had come to Gwen many times in the last few years with hushed worries about his wife and how their marriage fared. It hadn't surprised her at all, they were constantly apart, always on a different continent, in a different timezone, with weeks or even months between seeing each other. He had his worries that his wife was with other men while he was away - before he and Gwen ever started sleeping together. Gwen had always assured him that he was paranoid, that they loved each other and that neither of them would deliberately hurt the other. Gwen had unfortunately been wrong... Nik had confronted his wife, they had fought, but they had made amends with a promise to renew their vows and start new. Apparently that renewal hadn't held up well... considering the both of them had wordlessly agreed to seeing other people. 

“I’m so sorry, Nikolaj….” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “I’m so sorry.” 

Nik simply wrapped his arms firmly around her and buried his face into her neck. 

After a long moment of silence, he murmured into her skin. “I want a family with you, Gwen…”

Gwen's heart started to pound against her ribs, her breathing became heavier as she felt the panic set it. "Nik." 

"I know that's not a good idea _right now._ But Gwen, I want a new beginning. With you." 

She pulled away and stared at him. "You're not being serious." 

He nodded, though he looked as if he was shocked at himself for saying that. 

Gwen closed her eyes. "Nik, I think... I - we - _we_ need time to think - like you said." 

She felt his warm hands meet her cheeks, caressing them softly. His body felt close to hers, his hot breath tickling her face as he leaned in. She grabbed onto his hands to anchor herself, she felt dizzy, the ground shifting below her. He pressed his lips to hers gingerly. Gwen sighed and melted into him, kissing him back in an unusually shy manner. 

Nik rested his forehead against hers. "Look at me." 

She did as he asked. Pools of blue staring back at her. 

"I love you, Gwendoline." 

"I love you too." 


	8. Right Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But I think I want you to beg."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have waited so patiently and this is your reward. It is 4:22am. Mistakes will be made. Mistakes will get fixed. You are all the most lovely people. 
> 
> Let me know what you think.

Gwendoline and Nikolaj had made a mad dash for his car, which was still parked outside of the hotel. The drive to his home in LA was too far away, too many red lights, too many turns and back roads to get to the secluded home he chose. Their patience was running thin. Gwen was shifting in her seat, trying to get some sort of friction to ease the aching between her thighs. She could hardly keep her hands off of Nik, rubbing her hand up and down his inner thigh, grazing her fingers over the bulge in his pants. 

By the time they had made it inside the door, Gwen already had her hands in his pants, one hand gripping his ass, the other wrapped around his eager and throbbing cock. His hand was gripping the hair at the back of her head roughly, bringing her lips to his hungrily. Their kisses were wet, hot, and bruising. 

Gwen pulled her hands from his trousers and shoved him back against the door. She tore at his clothes, getting them off in any way she possibly could, as long as it was fast. Once he was naked, they turned their attention to her, stripping her just as quickly. 

Gwen started to drop to her knees, but Nik caught her by the elbow. “Get to the bedroom.  _ Right now.”  _

She bit back a grin and stood up straight, then took off running up the stairs to his room, her heavy footsteps echoing through the house. He smirked and followed after her at a far more leisurely pace. When he got there she had already made herself comfortable in the bed, leaning back on her hands. Her feet were on the bed, her knees together, and as he kept his gaze on her, she let them fall open. 

“Come here.” Gwen beckoned. 

Nik couldn’t possibly tell her no. He strode over, his eyes dark and his body practically vibrating with want. He knelt down on the bed and grabbed her calves. Gwen let out a small gasp as he pulled her closer, causing her to fall back against the plush bed. He shoved her knees up to her chest and laid his weight on her. 

“You know I’m not as flexible as I used to be.” She groaned out. 

“Hasn’t stopped us before, and besides, I know you can still do a backbend.”

She chuckled and rolled her eyes. “The day I do that for you is the day you learn how to do the splits.” 

“Sounds like a challenge to me.” He let out a low, grumbly laugh and kissed her. 

Gwen smiled against his lips and ran her fingers through his hair. “Shut up.” 

He kissed across her jaw, down her throat, trailing from one collar bone to the other. “God, you’re so beautiful.” He started to kiss down her sternum when her voice broke his trance. 

“Nik, I love you so much. But I don’t want to wait.” 

He smirked from his current position. “Patience.” He continued his trail down her chest. 

She grabbed his face, forcing him to look up at her. “Get up here and put a baby inside me,  _ now.”  _

He stared up at her, his eyes widening. “Yes, ma’am.” He quickly shoved himself up and kissed her passionately. 

Gwen shoved her hand between their heavy bodies and grabbed his cock, stroking it as best she could at this angle. She slowly rubbed the head of his cock along her outer lips, she was already flushed pink and soaking wet with desire. He groaned softly, his hot breath brushing along her face. She stole a kiss from him before he sat back on his heels. 

He grabbed her hands and placed them on her knees. He then grabbed his member and slowly rubbed it along her glistening folds, coating himself in her juices. Without another moment of hesitation, he pushed into her inch by inch. 

They had locked eyes, pools of blue staring at one another, heavy-lidded and dark with lust. Gwen took in short breaths, a soft mewl escaping her lips here and there. Nik leaned forward, his hands on either side of her. He gave her one slow, deep thrust, burying himself to the hilt. Gwen laid her head back with a breathy sigh.

He pulled himself almost all the way out before beginning to thrust into her at a rapid pace. Gwen released her legs before wrapping them around his waist. Both her hands had snaked their way into his greying hair, her short nails scraping against his scalp. 

“God, Nik, f-faster.” She moaned and shut her eyes. “Harder.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He did as she asked, ramming his cock into her mercilessly. 

The air was filled with moans, grunts, and the sound of his hips slapping against hers. They shared desperate kisses, their tongues dancing together between gasping breaths. Her pussy swallowed his length with thick, loud squelches. 

Gwen whimpered and cried out, her head thrown back as she writhed underneath him. Nik lowered himself down onto his elbows, shifting his arms under hers to grab her shoulders, giving him better leverage. Gwen had draped her arms over his shoulders, drawing his cheek down to hers. Her body was tensing under him, coiling up slowly in her core. 

He managed to choke out between his manic thrusting. “You’re so fucking beautiful…  _ Fuck… _ God, Gwen.” 

He suddenly had a wicked grin on his face. A rancid and cruel thought. Nikolaj had sheathed himself inside her and halted his movements. He captured her mouth in a feral kiss before biting down harshly on her bottom lip. 

Gwen let out a strangled cry and tried to move her hips against his, but it was nearly impossible with his weight pinning her to the mattress. “P-Please, fuck, Nikolaj. I-I’m so close.” 

“Well you did say the magic word.” He teased, pulling out of her ever so slowly. “But I think I want you to beg.” 

She locked her strong legs around him and pulled him back in. “No, please. Nik, please. Please let me cum.” She gave him a tender kiss, but her body was on fire. Her breathing was uneven gasps of air, her legs were growing tired and shaky. 

“Good girl.” He could taste the blood on their lips,  _ perhaps he had bitten too hard.  _

Gwen whimpered when he didn’t immediately move. So Nik gave her what they both wanted, no… what they both needed. He started to drive back into her, his thrusts erratic and almost juvenile. He swallowed her moans as they got louder, his mouth insistent and wanton against hers. Her walls fluttered and clenched around him, her stomach tensed, and her legs locked so tightly around his body that it took everything in him to keep moving. 

Her body trembled and shook before her orgasm hit her full force. Gwen came with a shrill, ear splitting scream, followed by high-pitched and airy gasps. But Nik was too caught up in his own release, his body twitched as her pussy pulsed around him still, drawing out every last bit of his seed. He slowly relaxed his hands, he knew she would have his fingerprints bruised on her shoulders for days. 

Gwen held him close while they came down from their highs, her arms cradling his head against her chest. Her breathing regulated itself along with her racing heart. Nik had wrapped his arms around her, his hands flat across her back. Her body was so incredibly warm, he noted, something that was always so welcoming to him. Her hands were never cold and frigid, and that always boded well for the both of them. 

They eventually cleaned themselves up and dressed in pajamas of his before crawling into the invitingly plush bed. Gwen laid against him, her head on his chest. She loved laying like this, she loved feeling the vibrations in his chest when he talked and laughed, but she mostly loved listening to his heart. As sappy as it sounded, it was true. 

She shut her heavy eyes and snuggled under the covers with him. “I love you so much."

“I love you too.”    
  
“You’re still in so much fucking trouble.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, ma'am, I am going to bed now. I love you all.


	9. To New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think. Maybe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being on full state lockdown is going to give me even more time to write. So hopefully some lengthy chapters are coming soon. But until those emerge, enjoy this!
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Nikolaj awoke the next morning, the sun peaking through the curtains and illuminating the room. He groaned and covered his eyes with his arm. His free hand felt around for the other body in his bed. Gwen liked to cuddle while starting to fall asleep, but she always moved away to have her space. Nik would often rest his hand on her hip or her side, and she would often let him, but that was the limit. He enjoyed spooning when sleeping, so he took what he could get. When he found the space beside him empty, he groggily sat up. 

“Gwen?” He called out. No response. 

Nik got up and stretched, a few of his joints popping in the process.  _ God I hope she didn’t leave. That doesn’t sound like her though.  _ He padded through the house, glancing in different rooms to find the only person he cared about right now. He looked over the railing down to the front door, both sets of their clothes were still discarded there.  _ Still here. Now where are you?  _

“Gwen? E lskede?” 

He started to walk to the kitchen, but noticed the door leading out to the pool was open, a gentle breeze blowing the curtains. He walked to the dining room, then out into the warm sun. Even in February, California was already getting that summer heat he loved so well. He smiled and glanced around, catching sight of just the person he was looking for. 

Gwen was pacing at the very top of the garden, explaining to Giles everything that happened last night and apologizing profusely for not coming back to the hotel. Giles insisted it was okay, his date had invited him to his place shortly after Gwen had left. That had made her feel a little better, but still guilty she hadn’t even bothered to text that she was still with Nikolaj. 

“I want you to stay there with him.” Giles said flatly.    


Gwen gaped. “What? No.” 

“Yes, he’s newly divorced. You’ve been a bit… ravenous.” He laughed tiredly. 

Gwen hadn’t forgotten what she said to Nikolaj last night.  _ Put a baby in me.  _ She cringed at her words and rubbed her forehead.  _ God, am I seriously considering this?  _ “Giles, I feel like you and I need to talk before I stay in his house.”

“We’re talking right now.” 

“No, I’d prefer if we talked about this in person.” 

“Gwendoline, you’re making excuses. You know our rules, I’m not angry, I  _ want  _ you to stay there with him before you have to spend weeks apart and you’re stuck with just me.” He chuckled. “I’m packing your bag for you, text me the address, I’ll be there at 3.” 

“Giles-” She started, but he had already hung up on her. She sighed and sat on the hammock. She sent Giles the address before setting her phone aside. 

Nik quietly walked up the stairs to her, catching sight of her just as she sat. “Hey.” 

She looked up. “Hi. Sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up. I just, I had to call Giles. Just to let him know I was okay.” She carefully laid back in the hammock. 

“Oh.” He said simply, then sat on the bench beside her. 

“About last night… I,” She puffed out her cheeks. “I told you I wanted you to put a baby in me.” 

Nik paused. “Yes, you did.” 

Gwen talked quickly, now just word vomiting her thoughts before she could change her mind. “I don’t know that I really meant that. I’ve been thinking a lot about children in the last few years but I always assumed it was just not in my cards… But then you said you wanted to start over with me, start a family, a-and then you said that me not having kids could be changed.” She took a deep breath. “That’s what I want too. I don’t know if I can, I don’t know if this will all work the way we’re thinking, and I have no idea what Giles will think. But I do want a baby. I think. Maybe.” 

Nik stayed silent, his mind and heart racing unexpectedly so early in the day. Gwendoline wanted a baby. With him. His baby. She was being serious. 

“You… you really want a baby with me?” 

Gwen took a shaky breath, but nodded. “I do. I was actually thinking about… staying here for a few days, if that’s quite alright with you.” 

Nik nodded quickly. “Please. I’d love that. I love having you around.” 

She smiled at him and held out her hand. “I love being around you.” 

He grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Is that what you and Giles were talking about?” 

“Yes. Giles thought it was a good idea.” She chuckled. “He’s dropping off my things at 3. I don’t know when exactly we’re going back home though.” She shifted onto her side to look at him better. 

“I don’t leave for Denmark until… Well, I don’t actually know either.” He thought for a moment. “I’ll need to talk to Nukaaka.” 

“You’re letting them keep the house, aren’t you?” 

He nodded slowly. “I said I’d find somewhere else. But I suppose staying here wouldn’t be bad.” 

“It’s a lovely place, Nik. It would be nice to stay here for a while, away from everything. Everything but me.” She smiled. 

He smiled. “Come on, let me make you breakfast.” He helped her up and walked back down the stairs with her. He spotted his tiny lizard friend and waved at him.  _ He loved Freddy.  _

Gwen’s brows furrowed and she looked down to where he was waving. “What on earth-?” The little lizard scurried closer. Gwen’s eyes widened and she let out a low scream, her feet carrying her quickly inside the house. “Oh I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.” 

“Gwen!” Nik laughed. “It’s cute, come here! His name is Freddy.” He walked over and grabbed the lizard off the wall. He smiled at the little guy, cupping him in his hands. 

“No thank you!” She yelled from inside. 

_ Well if she’s not coming outside, we’ll just go inside.  _ Nik stepped inside, but kept the door open. “Okay, okay, let’s just make breakfast.” 

“I swear to god, Nik, if that  _ thing  _ is in your hands, I’ll hit you.” He followed her voice to the kitchen. She was pouring cups of coffee for them both. 

He stopped in the entryway and stared at her. Her pale skin bathed in the sunlight, the freckles on her shoulders and arms more apparent the more time she spends here. Her sleep and sex mussed hair was perfectly imperfect, and practically glowing in the light. Her smooth legs went for miles and looked exceptionally long in a pair of his boxers. Paired with one of his plain t-shirts, she looked perfect. 

She turned to him with his coffee, but stopped short and stared at his cupped hands. “Nik…”

He smiled innocently. “Yes, darling?”    
  
“What’s that?” She raised her brow, a knowing look in her eyes. She set down the cups, leaning back against the countertop. 

“Oh nothing.”    
  
“Put it outside.” She gestured with a nod. 

Nik took a single step closer. 

She tried to keep her firm expression. “Nik.” 

Another step. 

Gwen pointed at him. “I’m being so incredibly serious.” She couldn’t help but laugh at the situation. This was ridiculous. 

“Oh you are, are you? Mm, fine. We’ll torture her later, Freddy. Don’t you worry.” He let the little guy outside. He knelt down and set him in a plant. “Seriously though, you’ll get your moment. I’ll make sure she doesn’t crush you.” He chuckled to himself. 

As soon as he stepped into the kitchen, Gwen’s body was on him, her arms and legs wrapped around him tightly. He grunted and grabbed onto her the best he could, stumbling back a few steps. She screamed happily and held on. 

“Good god, Gwen.” He adjusted his grip on her. 

She grabbed a fistful of hair and yanked his head back to look up at her. “You’re so fucking handsome.” She kissed him sweetly and loosened her grip on his hair. 

Nik kissed her back. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too.” She stroked his cheek gently. 

“So… am I actually making breakfast or are  _ you _ the breakfast?” 

Gwen rolled her eyes. “As much as I’d love that, I need food.” 

He carefully set her on the counter. “Wonderful. Try not to be distracting.” 

“Mm, we’ll see.” She gave a mischievous grin. 

Nikolaj did his best at making breakfast while Gwen sat and responded to texts and emails she acquired through the night. He silently wished she had been distracting enough to feast on her at the dining room table. She assisted him with something that couldn’t be easily fucked up - toast. He handled the eggs and sausages, along with cutting all the fruit. They had eaten outside, with Gwen safely in the shade and Nikolaj basking in the sun. Luckily for Gwen, no more sightings of Freddy had occurred. 

“So… how do you want to go about this… baby thing?” Nik started. He tried to sound casual about it, leaning back in his chair and popping a grape in his mouth. 

“Well, I have some events and other things to attend to back home. And, if you’re staying here, we won’t see each other for a while. So I suppose just… if it happens, it happens.” Gwen sipped her coffee. Digesting her own words and trying to prepare herself for this conversation with Giles. 

“I understand not actively trying. But what if things start taking too long? You and I are both getting older.” He said very matter-of-factly. “Would we be desperate enough to go through with IVF or a surrogacy?” 

Gwen thought in silence for a moment. “No, if it doesn’t happen, I’m not going to force it. I can live happily without a baby.” She gave a single nod. 

“Okay, that settles that then.” Nik smiled. “I’m excited to see what happens.” 

“As am I.” She held up her mug to him. “To new beginnings.” 

“To new beginnings.” He met his mug to hers with a satisfying  _ clink.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... thoughts on a baby? Too cliche? Too much? 
> 
> Love you guys!


	10. What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I could do it if I wanted.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, just a little chat chapter. 
> 
> Let me know what you think.

Three days had passed and Gwendoline hadn’t left Nikolaj’s place. They got into a strangely domestic routine in those three short days. They woke up, they talked about anything and everything, they cooked together, they watched a movie or show while they responded to different emails and talked with their PR people, and of course they had sex - that’s a given. 

Nik had gone to his Public Relations agent and informed him that he and his wife were divorcing, discussing how this would change his public view. But Nik didn’t care what the people thought, his family knew, his fans would… well, the fans would lose their shit. They’d already been making assumptions about him and Gwen for years, this would only add fuel the flames. This would only cause rumors to get worse, except now they’d be true. 

Shortly after Nikolaj had left, Gwen had asked Giles if they could do lunch at Nik’s place, after getting Nik’s permission of course. Giles happily agreed and arrived shortly with paninis. Gwendoline poured them each a glass of wine and they ate outside in the shade. 

Gwen spilled all the dirty details about what happened over the last few days - all the surfaces of the house they’d tainted, all the scratches, bruises, and love bites the both of them now adorned, and how incredibly sore she was. Gwen had bumped her head one too many times on the shower wall and was on her knees more often than she’d like to admit. She couldn’t count how many times she’d tripped up or down the stairs, still not used to Nikolaj’s house. And right at the end, she ever so casually slipped in that she was thinking about a baby. 

Giles was smiling and goading her on the whole time, wanting every single detail she was willing to give. But as soon as she mentioned a baby he fell silent, his smile faltered and was replaced with a thin-pressed line accompanied with furrowed brows. 

He blinked at her a few times before downing the rest of his drink. “Right, well the Miu Miu event is next week, we’ve both been invited. The Tomo fashion show is right after that. Then you have photoshoots, more interviews, the premiere, a Comic Con to attend, the Graham Norton Show - eventually, and filming for the Rolls Royce advertisement. Oh, and then you’re filming In Fabric, doing more photoshoots and interviews, and then we have a three month long play where you will be there  _ every...single...day. _ Can we hold off on this conversation for a while?” 

Gwen scoffed, absolutely baffled. “I… I don’t even know-”

“You’ve waited 40 years of your life for this, can’t you wait just one more?” 

“You are being a real ass right now, do you know that?” She gave a tight-lipped smile. 

“I’m being realistic, Gwendoline. Do you want to do any of those things pregnant? You wouldn’t be able to drink and have fun at the parties, you’d be exhausted all the time. You would hardly be able to take care of yourself during Midsummer, that’s a lot to put your body through.” 

She cocked her head, lifting her chin defiantly. “I could do it if I wanted.”

“I’m not implying that you  _ couldn’t _ . You’re perfectly capable. I just wouldn’t recommend it.” Giles said flatly. 

“And what if I wanted to still try for a baby?” 

“I truly couldn’t stop you. Why now though? Because it would be Nik’s and not mine?” The slight anger in his tone had diminished. He was hurt. 

“No!” She said, a defensive undertone creeping in.

“Honey… yes it is. You and I haven’t talked about this in six years. Why else would you want one now, of all times?”

“I just ended the largest project of my career. I will never get an opportunity like that again. After Midsummer, I have no idea what the future holds. But you and I both agreed that having a marriage and a baby just wasn’t in our cards alone… But what if they are in our cards with… a little help.” 

“I’m not legally binding myself to Nikolaj.” He mused. 

She shook her head, sparing a smile. “No, definitely not marriage. But think about it, you’d have a tiny muse to dress for the rest of your life. Imagine fashion week in London with a designer baby carrier.” She chuckled. “We’d be the most talked about, downright outrageous assholes out there.” 

“Oh, I’m sure Kim could fashion something for you.”

“Oh no, for you, good sir. I’ll be carrying the thing for nine months, you could carry it around for a while.” 

“The  _ thing _ , what an endearing nickname you’ve given your child already.” 

Gwen grabbed his hand. “Hey,  _ our _ child. You’re still a part of this.” She paused. “Right…?” 

Giles kissed her knuckles. “If you’ll have me.” 

“How could I deny you a mini muse?” 

“Mini? That thing will come out three feet long!” He huffed out a laugh. 

“See?  _ Thing  _ has a nice ring to it.” She guffawed and gripped his hand tighter. 

He smiled and rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. “So you’re really thinking about this, huh?” 

“I guess I am. I don’t want to  _ try _ try. Just… if it happens, it happens. I’m not going to get too caught up in thinking about ‘what if’s.” She grabbed her glass and leaned back in her chair, taking a long sip. 

“So… you really said “put a baby inside me?” To Nik? During sex?” He snorted.

Gwen shuddered. “Don’t remind me.” 

“I can’t imagine anything sexier, Gwendoline, really.” He said jokingly. “You couldn’t have found anything better to say? Like, oh I don’t know, ‘shoot your hot cu-” 

“ _ Giles!”  _ She squealed. A warm blush was creeping up her neck. “I don’t do dirty talk.” 

“Oh I know you don’t. But I don’t imagine Nik does either.” 

“No, or when he does, it’s in Dansih.” She smiled and glanced over at the sound of the front door opening. 

Nikolaj stepped inside and kicked off his shoes. “Gwen?”

“Outside, darling! Giles is still here with me!” 

He smiled softly and walked out to them. “Hey, Giles.” 

Giles gave a little nod. “Nik.” 

Gwen looked up as Nik leaned in and kissed her head. “You two have a good chat while I was gone?” He sat beside her and stretched out, crossing his legs at the ankle. 

Gwen gave Giles a  _ look _ that said  _ “please don’t tell him that we discuss our sex life.”  _ Giles simply smiled. “Yes.” 

“A rather nice chat. Giles brought paninis, there should still be one inside for you.” 

Nik raised his brows. “Oh, thank you.”

Gwen rubbed Nik’s knee under the table. “How did  _ your  _ chat go? I’m sure that was nerve-wracking.” 

“It went… well? As well as it could have gone. They’re already releasing articles about the news soon, unfortunately, so I’m going on radio silence until this blows over.”

“When do you leave for Denmark?” Giles piped in. 

“The third. Most of my things will be going into storage until I find a more permanent solution. Until I buy a house, I’ll be living here in LA.” 

Gwen couldn’t stand being away from him for longer than she had to. “What if you came to London for a bit?” 

Both pairs of eyes snapped to her as they said in unison, “What?” 


	11. Intoxicating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Me? I could drown in you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, lovely people! I've been losing my mind in this lockdown, and I've mostly spent it cleaning out various parts of my house. So my apologies for not getting back to writing sooner. 
> 
> I hope this satiates you all while I figure out what to write next! 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Let me know of any suggestions you have, I'd love to hear them!

Both boys continued to stare at Gwendoline, their faces in various states of shock - including hers. She hadn’t expected those words to come pouring out of her mouth. 

“I-I only meant, I know you don’t have a place to stay, other than here, but maybe you could stay in London… it’s closer to home, and… when Giles and I aren’t busy, we can keep you company.” 

Giles quietly poured himself another glass of wine while Nikolaj blinked slowly at her. 

“I don’t want to be a bother, I know you two are very private about your home lives-”

“I offered for you to stay in London, not in our house.” Gwen smiled a little, hoping to ease his tension. “You won’t be in the way, you won’t be intruding, and we won’t even be home for a short while. We have quite the busy schedule.” 

Nik nodded, twiddling his thumbs in his lap. “I definitely wouldn’t mind staying in London. I could maybe have a week with the girls.” 

Giles glanced up. “I heard Safina wanted to intern with me. Does she still want to?”

Nik’s face lit up at the mention of his beloved daughter. “She doesn’t want to admit it, but she does. She wants it more than anything. She’s just a little worried it might be awkward with this situation… “ 

Gwen scoffed into her glass. “I don’t think we could make it more awkward if we tried.” 

Giles raised his brows at her. “They could walk in on you two while Mr. Handsome over there is jack-hammering you into the mattress.” 

Nik gaped at him, his eyes wide and a rush of hot blood crawling up his neck. Gwen only rolled her eyes and grinned. “I told you we’d be using the hotel. I said come back if there was an emergency.” 

“There _was_ an emergency, I had spilled wine on my pants!” 

“Perhaps you should stop drinking red wine in white pants!” She countered. 

“ _Perhaps_ you shouldn’t get suspicious _white_ stains on a _black_ dress we have to return.” 

Gwen opened her mouth to speak but what came out was a cackle. A loud, boisterous cackle that rang throughout the gardens. “O-Okay, okay.” She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “You’re right there. But,” she calmed herself and shook her head. “I will not let Safina and Filippa catch us. I promise I won’t even hold your hand in front of them if it would help things be less… strange.” 

Nik nodded, his voice sounding meek as it came through. “I would appreciate that. I don’t know how they’ll react being around you again.” He paused. “Or me.” Gwen reached for his hand and held it tightly. 

At that, Giles cleared his throat and stood. “My apologies, but I have a rather steamy date with my ex and her husband.” 

Gwen glanced up at him. “Seeing Katie again? I didn’t know she was in town.” 

“Only for a few more days. I told her the four of us would do dinner.” 

“Of course.” She stood and kissed his cheek, then looped her arm through his as they walked inside. 

“Gwennie-”

She gently smacked his arm and stared at him with that signature open-mouthed smile. “Giles Deacon, you are jealous.” She spoke in a hushed tone. “I cannot believe you.” 

Giles sighed. “I told you to stay here with him. It’s not like I’m jealous of him because he gets to stick his dick in you.” 

She made a face. “Thank you for making it sound as unsexy as possible.” She walked him down the stairs to the front door. 

“I just want to be in your company the way he is, so comfortable and at ease.” 

“Maybe if you didn’t try to kill the paparazzi with your eyes you’d seem more at ease in the photos we see. When it’s just you and me, it is that way, I promise.” She kissed him softly. 

He offered a small smile and kissed her forehead. “Dinner tomorrow with Katie, eight o’clock. Sushi?” 

“Sushi sounds wonderful.” She smiled back. 

Giles left without another word, catching a cab back to their hotel. Gwen returned to Nikolaj’s side out back. Nik was simply watching the cityscape hustle and bustle, looking his usual half-god self. 

Gwen kissed his cheek softly, resting her hand on his knee. “I missed you.” She purred into his ear. 

You could almost hear the wheels turning in his head. _Giles was gone._ He slowly turned to her, his lips ghosting along her jaw. “You’re insatiable, aren’t you?” 

“For you, yes.” She grinned. “You’re intoxicating.” She breathed him in, his usual musk hinted with cologne. So perfectly man. So perfectly _Nikolaj._

“ _Me_ ? I could drown in _you_.” He ran his fingers up her neck, trailing into her hair. “You and those fucking legs.” He pulled at her hair, eliciting a small gasp from her. His grip softened and he kissed her tenderly. “You’re so gorgeous, Gwendoline.” 

She blinked at him, pulling back a little. “Thank you…“ She stroked his cheek with her thumb. “You’re pretty gorgeous yourself.” She mused. “You remind me of those statues you see in museums…”

“God, jeg elsker dig.” He sighed. 

Gwen kissed his cheek. “I love you too.” 

He grinned. “I love hearing you say that. I will never get tired of it.” 

“I love you.” She kissed his lips. “I love you.” Kiss. “I love you.” Kiss. “I want you.” She grinned. “I need you.” 

Nikolaj stood and held his hand out to her. She took it and stood, following his brisk steps inside. She gasped as his firm hands gripped her waist and forced her against the wall. Her heart skipped a beat, feeling his eager fingers snaking their way under her short dress, up the smooth expanse of her thighs. It was a simple article of clothing, red and white stripes with thin straps, the hem hardly down to her mid-thigh. She hadn’t worn this since the filming of season 4, Nik had loved it then and he loved it now. It wasn’t the most flattering thing she’s worn, but anything that showed _that_ much leg went right into his good books. 

A warm and firm hand caressing his cock through his trouser was enough to pull him from his thoughts. 

“Aren’t you going to at least take me to bed, _Nikolaj_?” The way she drawled his name made his knees weak. 

He mustered the courage to pull her body flush against his. “No, I think this will suit me just fine.” He seized her wandering hand and pinned it above her head, then grasped her other wrist and joined them together. 

“Is that so?” She glanced past him. “Letting the neighbors have a nice view?” 

“Let them look.” 

“I wouldn’t have guessed that you were into exhibitionism. You strike me as more of a voyeur, since you’re so against the idea of-”

“Shut your mouth.” He rasped before claiming her mouth. A rough, bruising kiss. Anything to stop her from talking.

Thrusting his tongue into her mouth, she moaned in response. She laced her fingers through his, but kept them up above her head. A quiet gesture that let them be tender with each other, even when they were desperate to be rough. They shared hot and needy kisses, sparring with their mouths. 

Nik rocked his hips against Gwen’s, his cock growing quickly in anticipation of what was to come. He could already feel the heat pooling between her thighs. _I did that,_ he thought. _I can do this to her without even trying._ He kissed along her jaw, down her neck, to her collarbones. He licked and nipped her creamy skin. He latched his mouth to her skin, aiming to mark her smooth flesh. 

Gwen gently grabbed his cheeks. “N-Nik, you can’t. I don’t want to cover up any more hickeys. I have fashion week to attend.” She huffed a small laugh as he stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. 

He muttered out a disappointed “fine” before returning his attention to her clavicles. Gwen’s hands crept from his cheeks to his greying hair, running her fingers through the soft locks. 

“If it’s any consolation, I’d love to be covered in them. I love seeing all the shades of purple and blue, knowing you did that to me. Remembering that your mouth was all over me.” She grinned up at the ceiling, resting her head against the wall. 

Nik shoved her dress up to her hips and dropped to his knees. “I thought I asked you to shut your mouth.” He grabbed the sides of her panties and slid them down her incredibly long legs. 

Gwen chuckled and stepped out of them, holding onto one his shoulders for stability. “As you wish, sir.” 

He ghosted his fingertips along her inner thighs, trailing them down behind her knees before lifting it up over his shoulder. Gwen bit her bottom lip, watching his deliberate and quiet movements. 

Nik spared one last glance up at the goddess before him, then buried his face in her cunt. He dragged his tongue slowly from her entrance up to her clit. She couldn’t hold back the moan that rose in her throat, deep and raspy. He grinned and started with slow strokes, spreading his saliva and her moisture between her folds. He clasped one hand around the thigh over his shoulder, the other snaking up to her ass, kneading the soft flesh there. 

He flicked his tongue across her swollen clit before drawing the sensitive bud into his mouth. Gwen roughly grabbed a handful of Nik’s hair, her mouth open as she mewled out his name. Her eyes were screwed shut, her hips shifting against his face. 

Nikolaj nuzzled his nose against her clit and plunged his tongue into her, switching between languid, teasing strokes and feverish probes, with wet and sloppy slurps. It was raw, hot, and euphoric. It wasn’t long before Gwen’s hips were rutting wildly against his face, her leg threatening to buckle under her. She could only whimper out his name and gasp as she came. Her body shuddered and shook, her knuckles white as she gripped the fabric of her dress. 

Nik helped lower Gwen into his lap. She looked at him through heavy-lidded eyes, her smile happy and intoxicated. “Good _lord_.” She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around him. 

“Maybe next time try not to break my nose, okay?” He grinned. His face _was_ sore, but it was worth it. 

She snorted and leaned into him. “I make no promises.” 

“Still want to be taken to bed?” He rubbed her back in slow, methodical circles. Though it was incredibly uncomfortable with Gwen straddling his erection, he could sit like this forever if she had asked him to. 

“Mm, yes please.” She nodded and kissed him softly. She then carefully stood and held her hand out to him. He took it and stood. 

Gwen swiped her panties off the floor and walked with Nikolaj to his bedroom. He quickly undressed and tossed his clothes to the side, sighing in relief as the excruciating pressure was taken off his member. His erection looked angry and painful, he needed Gwen and he needed her now. But Gwen was far too busy rooting through his dresser drawers.

“What are you doing?” He got comfortable in his plush bed, shoving a pillow under his head. 

She spared him a glance. “Where are all your toys?” 

“My what?” 

“Toys, Nikolaj. Rope, blindfolds, restraints, _insertables.”_ She clung to the last word, enunciating it very clearly. 

He laughed. “In Denmark.” 

She pouted. “How boring.” She turned and pulled her dress off over her head, leaving her bare in front of him. 

Before her, Nikolaj was sprawled in his bed, hand wrapped around his needy cock. His hair was mused, his eyes dark with desire, _fuck - he was so goddamn sexy._ Gwen crawled into bed with him, claiming his mouth before swinging her leg over to straddle him. Without hesitation, she grabbed his cock at the base and slid engulfed him entirely in one swift motion. 

What came next was a feverish hurricane of moans, grunts, pants, and whimpers. Their hips met with an echoing slap with each and every powerful thrust. They had a constant fight over power, all in good fun, but a constant fight nonetheless. Nikolaj had finally regained the energy to flip Gwen onto her back - but what he got was a mess of limbs, a slap to the face, and then they were both on the rug that covered the cold wooden floors. 

Gwen looked at him with wide eyes, scanning his face to see if he was hurt. Nikolaj quickly did the same to her, brushing her hair out of her eyes. 

Gwen’s parted lips curved up into a grin before she broke out in a loud cackle. The joyous noise rang through the house and back to them. Nik released the tension in his shoulders and let his head fall forward, a smile plastered on his face. 

Her laugh dissolved into a gasp as Nik thrust roughly into her. He tried to regain the moment they had before the fall but Gwen couldn’t stop giggling, her hand over her mouth, a poor attempt to stop her girlish laughter. 

Nik grabbed her hand and brought it down to her swollen clit. “Touch yourself.” He leaned in close, releasing her hand before grabbing her face. “And stop fucking laughing.” 

Her smile curved into a mischievous grin. “Yes, sir.” 

He gave her cheek a smack before taking it in his hand again and beginning to thrust into her again. With her own hand at work with his furious thrusts, Gwen’s inner walls were already starting to tighten around his cock. Her hips rocked with his movements and panted out his name, over and over. Nik was close, he could feel it in every fiber of his being, he wanted it, he needed it. 

With a grunt, he buried himself to the hilt, spasmed and filled her with his seed. Her cunt pulsed and gripped onto his cock. Gwen whimpered, her breath uneven and heavy. She drug her short nails down his back, her legs locked around his hips like a vise. 

Nikolaj buried his face into her hair. “I love you. I love you. God, I love you.” 

“I love you too, Nikolaj. Always.”


	12. Can I Show You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I was enjoying the show.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why hello, my lovelies. Another late night chapter is what I have for you. A wonderful new acquaintance of mine had come up with this idea, so I thought I'd bring some life into it and add a little twist. I hope I didn't disappoint. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

The next couple weeks had gone by in a blur. Gwen and Giles had kept a busy schedule - many nights spent in hotels, many days spent in different countries, several late nights spent drinking and chatting with anyone and everyone - mostly models who looked like they had an almond for dinner. Giles had decided against going to the Comic Con, instead going back to London to spend time with his family and work on ‘something special.’ Gwen had no idea what that entailed, but it made her feel equally excited and uneasy. 

The Con was draining, as they always were, but it was different without any other cast members there - it was lonely and a little frightening. At least if Nikolaj or Giles were there, she’d have someone to keep the other half of her bed warm when she wasn't surrounded by thousands of fans. Her lovely manager came along with her, as he always did, but even he was in on a separate floor of the hotel. 

Gwendoline sat on her rather bland and boring bed, sighing in relief as she shed off her coat and shoes. _These Dior’s need insoles. Good lord my feet hurt._ She groaned and laid back, her feet still on the floor. Just as she closed her eyes, her phone began to vibrate in her jacket pocket. She blindly patted around for it beside her, without any luck she murmured out a string of curses. Heaving herself up and finally opening her eyes, she grabbed it with no issue. 

_Nikolaj wanted to FaceTime_. Gwen laid back down after hitting ‘accept,’ letting him have a lovely view of the ceiling. 

There was a slight pause from him. You could practically hear the wheels turning in his head, grasping for something witty to say. “Well, Gwendoline, you’re looking very pale.” There it is. She knew he was grinning like an idiot. 

She rubbed her face with a yawn. “Don’t make me beat you when I get home.” 

Nik huffed out a laugh. “Promise? Gwen, baby, what’s wrong? Why am I staring at nothing?” 

She grabbed the phone and held it up over her, flipping him the bird with a half-smirk. “Happy?” 

“Extremely.” He smiled at her, his stupid face just as handsome as always. He was shirtless, his blonde and greying chest hairs making their usual appearance. _My golden lion._ He looked exhausted. 

“What time is it there?” She stole a glance at the alarm clock on the bedside table. Nearly 7pm. She gaped at him. “Nik, go to bed.” She laughed. “It’s 3am!” 

“I wanted to talk to you first. Tell me about your day.” 

Gwen closed her eyes. “I’d rather not. Tell me about yours instead?” 

Nik flopped back in his bed, tucking a pillow under his head. “Well the girls flew in today. I picked them up from the airport, we did lunch and some tourist things.” 

“Tourist things? Like what?” She sat up. “Did Safina bug you to go to the Victoria and Albert museum?” 

He grinned. “She did. Philippa wasn’t the most excited about that, but she took the most ridiculous amount of photos. Safina met with Giles and I had a feeling they would talk for a while. So, Philippa and I did some walking around, sightseeing. It was very nice.” 

“That sounds like a rather nice day.” Gwen propped up her phone against the lamp so Nik could still see her while she wandered about her room. She then started unbuttoning her long, slightly sheer shirt. “Any plans for tomorrow?” 

“You get home tomorrow.” He paused, a grin crawling across his lips. “So there’s my answer.” 

She scoffed, dragging her shirt off her shoulders and tossing it into her open suitcase. “Nik, your daughters are still in town for another week, right? As much as I love you, I’d rather you spend the time with them.” 

He chuckled quietly. “I can get them out of my hair for an hour.” 

She unbuttoned her pants and shoved them down her legs, leaving her in a rather simple pair of black panties and a bra to match. “You really think I’m going to let you get away within only an _hour?_ Oh my dear, _Nikolaj_ ,” she drawled out seductively. “You are mistaken.” She grinned and tossed her pants roughly where her shirt had landed.

_Low battery: 20%_

“Gwen, honey, I was enjoying the show.” 

She crossed over to her phone and hit ‘low power mode.’ “Better?” She squatted down so her face was in view. 

A ridiculous love-struck smile was plastered across his face, his eyes growing more tired. “Much. Thank you.” 

She rolled her eyes, then looked to him and bit back a grin. _God, I miss him. I love this idiot._

Nik let out a low, gravelly laugh. “What?” 

She drew her bottom lip between her teeth. “Can I show you how much I’ve been missing you?” 

“What, are you going to serenade me to sleep?” He mused. “I would quite enjoy that, I’m rather tired.” 

Gwen’s lips curved up into a smirk. “Something like that. You stay right there.” 

He closed his eyes and shifted in his bed. “Yes, ma’am.” 

Gwendoline quickly shot over to her suitcase and started rummaging through her suitcase, tossing clothes - both clean and dirty - onto the floor in a desperate attempt to find what she was searching for. Her hand grazed over the smooth satin. _There you are._ She grabbed the object and pulled it from underneath a shirt, then scampered to the bathroom. With haste, she grabbed a small bottle of liquid from the drawer, and came running back to bed. 

She grabbed her phone off the table. All she could see was what looked to be the ceiling of wherever he was staying, a ring at the corner of the screen from where she assumed his lamp was. “Nik, are you still awake?” 

Gwen heard his blankets rustle around the phone. “Mm. Hardly.” 

She propped her phone up again, this time facing her while kneeling on her bed, hitting ‘close’ absentmindedly when another low power alert came across the screen. “I would hate for you to miss anything.” While Nik still wasn’t looking, she stripped herself of her final articles of clothing. “ _Nikolaj… Min elskede.”_

When Nik’s voice came, it was low and fatigued. “Danish? Must be important.” He tried to sound facetious but it came across rather monotone. He lifted his device up to see the screen again. 

Gwen opened up the satin drawstring bag, pulling out a rather promising looking golden dildo from within. She clicked her tongue. “I don’t think you’re taking me very seriously. Perhaps you should just go to bed.” 

Nikolaj blinked a few times before fully computing what was happening. His eyes shot open, wide as saucers, and he quickly sat up. A small laugh was pulled from his lips as he got comfortable against the headboard. “Du er beskidt.”

Gwen grinned. “Beskidt. I know that word.” She popped open the cap of the small bottle, and began to generously apply it to her toy.

“Dirty, filthy, you pick.” He bit his lip. 

“Fuck, you’re so sexy.” She simpered. She closed the lid and tossed it towards the opposite side of the bed. “My golden fucking lion.” 

Nik snapped his teeth together at her. “Always.” 

Gwen ran her lengthy fingers up and down the silicone member, distributing the slick liquid evenly. Though she was already wet with want, a little extra lubrication was never unwelcome. She sat up on her knees, positioning them so they were a good distance apart. 

Nikolaj was watching her with that dark, greedy, ravenous look in his eyes. They always pierced straight through her. She could tell, just by the slight parting of his lips, and the way his eyes flicked somewhere beyond his screen, he had his hand around his cock already. 

Gwen grinned and gave the head of the silicone cock a lick. “Strawberry flavored lube.” Satisfied by the shudder Nik gave, she lowered the play thing to her aching center. Dragging it along her folds, she sighed in content. She closed her eyes and brought her free hand to her already hardening nipple, rolling it slowly between her thumb and index finger. 

“Good Christ, Gwen.” Nikolaj groaned out. “What I’d give to bury my face between those thighs of yours.” 

She rolled her hips and mewled out his name. “I want you. I’m going to ravage you when I see you again.” She continued to rub the toy from her entrance to her clit, then back, rocking her hips in motion with her hand. 

Gwen’s left hand abandoned her erect nipple, instead resting on her sinewy thigh. She positioned the dildo under her, slowly parting her knees to sink down until the tip began to penetrate her arduously wanton cunt. She locked eyes with Nikolaj through their screens, her breathing slow and steady, though her heart pounded against her rib cage wildly. 

In one swift motion, she sunk down, her knees sliding painfully across the thick blanket. She engulfed the golden cock fully, delightfully stretched. Gwen let a lewd, raspy, and obscenely loud moan leave her parted lips just as her phone screen went black. 

“No!”


	13. Same Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You are truly impossible.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a very random chapter, my lovelies. Just building a little while I plan out some things. I hope you enjoy. It's soft as hell. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

“No!” 

Gwendoline laid her head back on her shoulders and screamed in frustration. “Damn it! Fuck!” 

She clumsily got off the bed, removing the toy from within her. She glanced around, an awkward claw hand clutching onto the slippery object. _Well what the fuck do I do with this?_ With her lips pressed into a thin line, she walked it to the bathroom and cleaned both herself and the object before returning it to it’s bag. _The moment is ruined, there’s no going back._

Gwen stared at the clutter before her. Clothes flung on the floor - and the bed, and the chair, there’s even a bra strung across the top of the mini fridge - there’s spots of lube on the down blanket, her phone still propped against the lamp. 

“Christ, Christie, you’re a mess.” She muttered to herself, dropping the drawstring bag into her open suitcase. 

She dressed herself in a simple t-shirt and a pair of panties, neatly folding and putting away the rest of the clothes strewn around the room. In the process, her items occupying the bathroom and shower were stowed away and readied for her flight back home tomorrow. Finding her charger within her purse, she plugged in her phone and crawled into bed. 

Impatiently waiting, Gwendoline flattened herself on her back. _Will Nikolaj insist he picks me up from the airport? Would Giles even bother? Maybe I’ll catch a cab and spare them both. Christ, if I’m this worried over an airport pick-up, how will things be when I do have a ba-_ **_stop saying that word._ **

The light coming from her phone told her it was turning back on. _I don’t need more time left alone with my thoughts._ As soon as it was back on she called ‘My Idiot *bear emoji*’ - a proper name for a proper idiot. 

He answered after the third or fourth ring, his voice low and sexy with sleep. “You have fun without me?” 

Gwen put him on speakerphone. “Of course I did.” She smiled. “No, I didn’t actually. It dampened the mood a bit.” 

“I was feeling the same. Just didn’t seem right to continue without you.” 

She chuckled. “How very thoughtful. I just wanted to tell you goodnight, and to go the fuck to sleep.”

“I’m nearly there.” 

“I love you, Nikolaj…” 

She could perfectly envision the sleepy smile on his face. “I love you too, Gwendoline. So very much.” 

Her heart swelled in her chest and tears burned at the back of her eyes. She always felt strangely emotional whenever he said it, no matter how many times he had said it in a day. She’d been in love before, she loved Giles and men before him, but this was different. Nikolaj was different. 

They laid in a comfortable silence, just listening to each other breathe. Gwen knew Nik had fallen asleep when he started to snore faintly. _Mouth-breather._ She thought to herself, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. It was probably too early to sleep on her end, but she was exhausted and had a long day of traveling ahead of her. 

Gwen listened to Nik for a short while longer before grabbing her phone. She gave a nearly inaudible whisper. “I love you so much… I can’t wait to see you.” When he only snored louder in response, she rolled her eyes and hung up. 

Sleep came easy that night. Waking came even easier, especially when the bright morning sun was shining through her hotel window, the slit of light hitting her right across the eyes. Gwen jumped out of bed faster than she has on most days, ready to go home, to see her boys, to just be back in the right timezone. 

Though… of course that would have to wait another 16 hours. Her flight didn’t leave until noon and it was hardly past 6. 

_Breakfast and a shower._ 15 hours. 

_Discuss with Giles how things went with Safina yesterday._ 13 hours. 

_Call Nikolaj while she finished packing her things. Throw in some longing just for fun._ 12 hours. 

_Debrief with her manager about her future itinerary, all the way from the hotel to the airport… through TSA… and while waiting for the plane._ 9 and a half hours. 

Gwendoline forced herself to sleep through the flight, but she simply couldn’t. She listened to multiple podcasts, interviews, _anything_ to get herself to sleep. But nothing proved to be successful. 

Time ticked too slowly. She was growing impatient. Restless. Her knees and hips ached. Her back and neck started to ache too. 

But finally, **finally**. They landed. She got off and had to fight the urge to run to the front doors. Instead she took her time, keeping her head low, hoping people didn’t recognize her. She breathed in the cool morning air, it was cold, refreshing, and felt like home. She flinched as her phone began to vibrate in her hand. 

She hit accept and held it up to her ear. “Nikolaj? What are you doing up?” It was nearly 6am and lord knows Nik wasn’t a morning person. 

Nik let out a chuckle. “Will you turn 30 degrees to your right please?” 

Gwen furrowed her brows in confusion, but then she saw him. Leaning against the side of his rental car, looking just as smug as ever, was Nikolaj himself. “You are truly impossible.” She hung up and hurriedly walked over to him. She let go of her suitcase handle and wrapped her arms around him tightly. “What the fuck are you doing here?” 

Nik wrapped his arms around her and buried his face into her neck. “Couldn’t leave you stranded at the airport, now, could I?” 

“Were you snooping again?” 

“Not really snooping when your manager, publicist, _and_ agent tell me everything I want to know.”

She rolled her eyes, though she truly couldn’t help but smile. “Sounds like snooping to me. Now come on, let’s go.” 

Nik loaded her suitcase and carry-on into the trunk before getting into the driver’s seat, Gwen getting into the passenger seat. She moved the seat back and stretched out her legs before leaning her seat back. _Gods, she was tired._ Her eyelids were feeling heavy, her limbs hard to move. She could fall asleep just sitting here beside Nik. 

“How was the flight?” He asked, filled with too much excitement for how early it was. 

She closed her eyes. “Long. Exhausting.” 

“Oh.” Is all he said before falling into silence. She didn’t know how long had passed before he spoke again. “My place or yours?” 

“Mine. Giles is off with his mum for breakfast.” She pulled up the directions on her phone and set it up for him. 

The rest of the drive was quiet, Nik played quiet music on the way to her place, getting confused by the London roads from time to time. Gwen had dozed off in the time it took to get there. She awoke to Nik stroking her cheek, the pad of his thumb brushing the soft skin there. 

“Let’s get you inside.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. 

Gwen smiled sleepily and kissed him back. “I missed you so much.” 

“I missed you too, baby.” 

They shared a few more gentle kisses before they parted and exited the car. Gwendoline rooted through her purse to find her keys, Nikolaj grabbed her bags from the trunk. She opened the doors and showed him inside. _Oh my god, Nikolaj has never been here before._ She didn’t know why but that thought unsettled her greatly. They’d been practically everywhere else together - hotels in London, his place in LA, various parts of the world - just neither of their homes in their own country. 

Gwen blinked a few times as Nik closed the door with his foot. She sat on a bench in the entryway and started untying her shoes as Nik slipped past her. He was looking around like a curious child in a museum, eyes full of wonder, occasionally reaching his hand out to touch things. A painting on the wall caught his attention. The colorful throw pillows on the couch proved to be intriguing. The floor to ceiling bookshelf painted a dark green color was his next point of interest. 

“It’s more… lively than I expected. Lots of color.” He spun a slow circle, taking many baby steps as he did so. 

She scoffed and stood. “What _were_ you expecting? A black hole of a home? It may not be full of windows like your place in the U.S., but I’m not a cave-dweller.” She met him in the middle of the large room. 

“No, no. I just imagined it being more… clean.” 

Her eyebrows shot up high on her forehead. _Not the word he wanted._

“No!” Nik’s eyes widened. “No, it’s not _not_ clean. Neat! I am thinking of the word neat. Modest. Simple.” He nodded as he fumbled about his words. “I like it a lot. It’s nice.” 

Gwen cackled and pulled him close. “Just shut up.” She nuzzled her nose against his. “Giles and I could never agree what we wanted this place to look like, so it’s just filled with things we like.” 

He smiled, a little relieved she wasn’t offended. “Now, which way to the bedroom.” 

She started to roll her eyes, but let out a shrill scream as he lifted her off her feet. “Oh good lord. Down the hall, it’s the final door on the right.” 

And with that, Nik carried her all the way there, only grunting quietly when it came to opening the door, putting most of her weight on a single arm. Gwen couldn’t help but laugh at his efforts, swatting his hand away from the handle and opening it herself. 

“Are you sure you’re _strong enough?”_ She mused, a smirk on her lips. 

“Of course I am,” He huffed, crossing to the bed and setting her down. “You’re just a whol-” 

Gwen pulled him harshly to her, smashing her lips into his. When he kissed her again she bit his lip. “Don’t you say it.” 

Nik started grinning slowly. “You’re just a whole lot of woman.” 

She shoved him back playfully and laid back on her bed. The immediate comfort of being home, in her own bed, with the man she loved. It was drawing her closer to sleep again. She felt the bed dip quite near to her, then his arm around her midsection. 

“I told girls I would be back for lunch. Do you want to join us?” 

“Mm, that sounds nice. Don’t you want to spend more time alone with them before they have to leave?” 

“Well yes, but I have a week before they leave. And _we_ have _two_ whole weeks until we have to go back to America! We can do whatever we want!”

Gwen swung her leg across his hips and pushed herself up on top of him. She melted against him, her cheek against his. “Just stop shouting.” She wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes. “I’m absolutely exhausted. I don’t want to do anything but sleep.” 

Nik traced small shapes onto her back and thighs. “Nothing else that… oh, I don’t know, sparks your interest? What I have in mind still involves a bed.” 

Gwen gave a half smirk. “ _You’re insatiable._ Isn’t that what you said to me before we left?” 

“Well yes, but now it’s been weeks. For you it had been hours.” 

“Mm, I think that’s pretty close to the same thing.” She nodded in self-affirmation. “I don’t think I could keep myself awake.” 

“How incredibly rude of you!” He turned his head to look at her, a smile on his lips. Gwen lifted her head and drug her eyes open to see his look of mock offense. “Am I not _entertaining enough_ in the bedroom?”

“No, not really. No.” She shut her eyes again and gave a fake snore. 

He flipped them over so he was leaning over her. He kissed her cheek, then nipped gently at her ear. “I can always change that.” 

Gwen’s breathing had already slowed, her arms hanging loosely around his neck. She was truly falling asleep on him. 

He laughed. “Gwendoline.” 

She raised her brows, keeping her eyes closed. “Mm?” 

“You’re…” Nik paused to think. _God, English is horribly difficult sometimes._ “You’re ulidelig.” 

She pulled him close and nuzzled her nose into his neck. “Thank you.” 

He laughed quietly, his face now buried in her hair. “Do you know what that means?” 

“Mm,” she breathed deeply. “Wonderful? Gorgeous? Perfect in every way?” 

He smiled in amusement. “Not quite.” 

“Enlighten me then.” 

“It means,” He pulled away so he was laying beside her, then rested his forehead against hers. “That you’re excruciating.” He ran the pad of his thumb across her cheek. 

“Same thing, right?” 

“Yeah, same thing.”


	14. Bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He simply smiled at her in admiration. “So bossy.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been stewing in my head, based on a loose fantasized idea from a friend. 
> 
> I'm so incredibly excited to start this next chapter. *evil giggle* 
> 
> Let me know what you think, lovelies.

Gwen had slept peacefully, wrapped in Nik as if he were the warmest blanket in the world. She breathed in his scent slowly, deeply - a perfect musk hinted with his favorite cologne. God she could stay there with him forever. She hated sleeping any other way. 

She awoke slowly, shifting her hips and shoulders as a poor attempt to relieve them of the pain they were in. Her legs hadn’t been dangling off the bed anymore. She willed herself to open her eyes, despite knowing it was bright in her room. Bleary at first, they adjusted, focusing first on Nikolaj’s shirt. Her head was laid across his chest, one arm draped across his torso, the other cramped and numb under the weight of her own body. One of her knees tucked comfortably between his legs. 

_He was wearing his shoes in my bed._ **_Heathen_** _._

Gwen watched Nik move, his hand moving from her lower back to her ass, then further still to her thigh. His touch was gentle, tired. But soon his fingers dug into the soft flesh there and pulled it higher against him. 

_Oh…_ He was most definitely hard. 

She felt his chest rise and fall as he took a deep breath. “Good morning.” She whispered. 

“Mm, morning.” He rasped, his voice low and husky. 

She shifted onto her stomach, lifting her chin and resting it high on his chest. “You’re rather… alert.” 

“I’ve been waiting weeks to touch you.” He grabbed her hips and rolled them over so he was cradled between her thighs, his knees planted on the bed. 

She plucked his hands off her hips. “Maybe if you took your shoes off, I’d consider.” She raised a brow and smiled. 

She’d never seen a man lose his shoes faster, both of them hitting the floor less than a second after she finished her sentence. Cackling in amusement, she laid her head back. Nikolaj took this opportunity to crawl back up to her, attacking her long, pale throat with ravenous kisses. His mouth was hot, wet, and felt so incredible against her skin. 

Gwen breathed out a quiet moan, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him closer, only to be disappointed that he was pulling away. She stuck out her bottom lip in a pout, but he was grinning back at her. Nik stood and pulled Gwen up off the bed, his eyes scanned up and down her body briefly. 

“What are you doing?” She questioned, her brows knitted together. 

“Taking your clothes off.” He rasped, still looking her up and down. In but a few quick motions, he squatted and grabbed the ends of her sleeves, pulling off her jacket. Then stood and grabbed the bottom of her t-shirt and hauled it over her head. 

Gwen moved her body how he needed her to, a wave of confusion and a bit of shock at his effective methods. But before she could even begin to laugh, he shoved down her jeans - not even bothering with the button or zipper - and cupped his hand over her mound. A sharp gasp drug down her throat. 

“Well calculated, love.” She grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and pulled him in, kissing him roughly. She slid her tongue into his mouth and only drew him into a more passionate moment. 

“Thank you. Thank god that went as well as I wanted it to.” He laughed and kissed her again, an unsatisfying peck this time, moving his hands to her perfectly round ass. 

Gwen started pulling his sweater off his shoulders, peeling it down his arms before dropping it on the floor. “You’re still dressed. It’s a bit unfair.” She grabbed the bottom of his shirt and whipped it off him with some gusto. 

He simply smiled at her in admiration. “So bossy.” 

“Nothing would get done if I wasn’t.”

“It would, just at my pace.” He grinned and stilled her hands before they reached his pants. “Perhaps if you were a little patient.” He lifted her and tossed her on the bed with a grunt. “You could enjoy these things a little more.” And before Gwen could object, Nik was on his knees, her panties were flung across the room, and his face was buried between her thighs. 

Her mouth fell open with a content sigh. “Oh _god,_ Nikolaj.” 

He hummed against her cunt, nuzzling his nose against her clit. It was like an electric shock sending molten heat straight to her core. He flattened his tongue and gave slow licks along her entrance, grazing across her folds, before locking his lips around her sensitive bud and sucking lightly. 

Gwen laid her head back and moaned obscenely. She ran a hand through his hair before grabbing a fistful of hair, keeping his mouth planted firmly against her. “I love your filthy mouth. Feels so fucking good, Nikolaj, _fuck.”_

Nik pulled her legs up over his shoulders and released the bud from his grasp, immediately turning his attention back to her entrance, using soft and teasing flicks of his tongue. When Gwen raised her hips, aiming to stop his teasing, he pulled away. 

Nik blew a cold breath that made her shudder. “You’re ruining the fun.” He grinned and loomed over her. 

Gwen looked up at him through her pale lashes, releasing her grip on his hair to grab his wrist. Slowly, she brought his hand up to her face, then drew two of his fingers into her mouth. He couldn’t hold back the low groan that rose in his throat. She had always been talented with that tongue of hers. She sucked on his fingers gently, coating them thoroughly with her slick saliva. 

Impatiently, he took them from her mouth and placed a rough kiss on her lips instead. He brought his now well-coated fingers to her cunt and slid them inside with ease. Gwen arched her back and shut her eyes, his name falling from her lips again. Nik curled his fingers inside her, watching her mouth slowly fall open. He moved his hand at a quick pace because he simply couldn’t help himself, as much as he loved the teasing, he wanted to be inside Gwen. 

Gwen dug her heels into his back and rolled her hips against his hasty movements, her hands gripping handfuls of the blanket beneath her. Nikolaj could hardly think straight, his cock was straining painfully inside his jeans, blood rushing in his ears. He had to get his pants off - he had to get Gwen to cum first. _Fuck. I can’t wait._ Nik started undoing his button and zipper with his less skilled left hand. He fumbled a little, the fabric of his boxers catching on his zipper - but he had to keep his hands moving. He pressed his fingers deeper, curling them to find that delicious spot inside her. 

Gwen started to buck her hips, her legs tensing around him and drawing him closer. “Oh! Fuck - God, Ni-!” She whimpered and shuddered. Her eyes were screwed shut as she came closer to the edge, the coiling sensation inside her building. 

Nik’s fingers left his fly and trailed up her stomach to her breast. He grinned and brushed his thumb over her hardened nipple before rolling it between two fingers. Gwen sucked in a breath through her teeth, _sensitive as always._ Eager to send her over the edge, he used his thumb to swipe harshly at her clit and tugged at her nipple.

Gwen came with a low moan, her hands clutching at the blanket below her with a white-knuckle grip. Her toes curled and her heels dug into Nik’s back. Her walls pulsed and fluttered around his long, deft digits. Her heavy breathing was all she could hear over the blood rushing in her ears and her heart pounding in her chest. 

She lifted her head and focused long enough to see Nikolaj lick his fingers clean of her. His eyes were dark and possessive, looking at her like prey. He bit his lip and looked her over. 

He gave a gesture with his head. “Get on your stomach.” 

_Don’t have to ask me twice._ Gwen got up on her still shaky legs and moved to the middle of the bed. She sprawled out on her stomach as he asked, tucking her arms under her head and closing her eyes once again. She could vaguely hear the rustling of the rest of his clothing being discarded before she felt the bed dip beside her. 

Nik grabbed a pillow and patted her ass. “Up.” 

Gwen opened her eyes and lifted her hips off the bed. He tucked the pillow under her, the plush object only giving the tiniest bit of lift he needed to make this easier on him. As Gwen relaxed, Nik moved so both her thighs were locked together between his. He held his red and angry cock, it throbbed wildly and he was nearly light-headed. _Christ, control yourself._ Slowly, he rubbed the head of his cock along her soaked slit. 

Nik pushed himself inside her, inch by inch, until he was buried to the hilt. He rubbed his warm, soft hands grazed along the backs of her thighs, then circled around her ass before moving up her back. 

“Oh fuck, Gwen.” He groaned out. She replied with a happy little moan of her own, wiggling her hips against him. “Hands, please.” 

Gwen started to hesitantly pull her arms from underneath her head. “Mm, Nik-” 

He gave her right cheek a swift _thwack._ “Hands, Gwen. Now.” 

This time she obeyed, untucking her arms and holding her hands out behind her. Nik grasped her wrists and held them against her lower back. “Good.” He leaned down and placed a kiss on her spine. 

Nik started off slowly, watching his length move in and out of her. _Keep your cool, hold it together._ Gwen crossed her ankles and pushed her hips up to meet his languid thrusts. Soft, hushed moans left her mouth, her eyes fluttering shut. The tender and unhurried pace didn’t last long, it’s not what either of them wanted. 

Nik’s large firmly hand held her delicate wrists in place, his other hand gripping her hip. His thrusts were quickly becoming erratic and rigorous, the consistent sound of skin against skin, moans and pants, whimpers and mewls, the gentle creaking of the bed beneath them. He left a stinging, red hand print across her ass, lovebites down the long expanse of her freckled back. 

Gwen loved being trapped underneath him, his thighs clamping together tightly to keep hers in place. She loved the occasional tug of her hair, the delicious sting of his hand across her cheek. It didn’t take long for him to launch her over the edge, her orgasm sending a wave of warmth and spasms over her, high-pitched moans ripping from her throat. He followed with a roar of her name, burying himself deep inside of her. 

She knew what was happening before it happened. She heard the footsteps, she saw the doorknob turning. Everything slowed down, every second moving by at glacial pace. And then she saw them, Judy and Giles Deacon, at the worst possible time - but only for a split second before Giles slammed the door shut. Her heart sank in her chest, _of course Giles knew,_ but his _mother! Never in a million years would either of them tell her they were in an open relationship._

But now it wasn’t a secret. This was bad.


	15. Be Honest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idiot. Go sit down. Be honest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, lovelies, I wrote this pretty quickly to get moving on to the next section of this story. It's just Gwen embarrassing herself, so I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Let me know what you think.

Gwen’s stunned silence continued even as she bucked Nikolaj off her and scrambled to grab her clothes, slamming her toes into the bedpost as she scooped up her shirt. She spewed a string of curses and pulled on her clothing, piece by piece, going as quickly as her body would let her. 

“Who was  _ that?”  _ Nikolaj asked as he pulled his boxers on at a far too leisurely pace. 

“Shh!” She grabbed his pants and his shirt and shoved them against his chest. “That is his  _ mother!”  _ She whisper-shouted at him. 

His eyes widened, but then he furrowed his brows. “She didn’t know?” 

“Of  _ course _ she didn’t know! How do you tell an 80 year old woman that you and your partner decided ‘oh, you know what? We realized that we’d like other sexual partners and we’d also like to mostly rely on each other for emotional support’? You don’t just  _ say _ those things, Nikolaj, especially when they’re expecting grandchildren from you.” She barked at him, eyes full of anger and fear. She took a shaky breath and covered her eyes. “I’m sorry. Just...get dressed, please.” 

She grabbed a sweater and pulled it on as she walked out into the hall. Giles was standing there, arms crossed and his chin down, looking at her over the rim of his glasses.  He spoke quietly, but his voice was firm. “Gwen…” 

She took a deep breath and walked to him, gently grabbing onto his arm. She met his hushed voice with one of her own. “I-I’m so sorry, Giles, I never meant for you to-”

He pressed a finger to her lips. “Gwen,  _ I  _ am not upset. But I did text you, and I called, I had warned you that we were coming back here for coffee. So… perhaps checking your phone next time.” He smiled a little. 

Gwen sighed and hugged him tightly, burying her face into his shoulder. “I’m still sorry. We had fallen asleep and I didn’t bother checking my phone before…” She trailed off. 

“I know, I know. Apology accepted. Now we… find a way to explain this to my poor mother while Nik tries to crawl out our bedroom window.” He chuckled and rubbed her back soothingly. 

She leaned into him heavily. “God my shoulders hurt.” 

Giles patted her back. “Looked fun.” He pulled away and gently grabbed her hand. “Let’s go embarrass ourselves, shall we?” 

Gwen glanced back at the bedroom door. “I should… tell him not to climb out the window, that does sound like something he’d do.” 

He gave a curt nod. “I’ll go pour the coffee.” 

She watched him walk away, hearing him exchanging quiet words with his mother before walking her into the kitchen. Gwen quietly went back into her bedroom, closing the door behind her. When Nikolaj wasn’t immediately within her view, she glanced around quickly. 

“Nikolaj?” She looked for the remainder of his clothing. His shoes were still by the bed where he left them.  _ God, please don’t tell me he was stupid enough to actually climb out the window without his shoes. I can see the blind items now “ _ The three name foreign-born actor from long running pay cable show was seen hopping out of his co-stars window in her hometown, leaving his shoes behind in the process.” 

Gwen chuckled at herself.  _ Please god don’t let him be that stupid.  _ She checked the bathroom and under the bed - then she saw that the closet door was open a crack. She walked over and opened up her walk-in closet, flicking on the light. And there he was, wrapped up in a faux fur coat, sitting in the middle of the closet. 

“You…” She leaned against the doorway. “Are so stupid.” She smiled at him. “What are you doing?” 

“I figured I would be here a while, so I thought I would entertain myself.” 

“Well, you’re correct. You’ll be waiting in here until Judy leaves. But maybe don’t hide in the closet, this is Giles’ spot.” 

He cocked his head to the side, then seemed to have a moment of realization. “Oh, designer, clothes, got it.” 

“No, this is just where he hides. He likes to watch.” Gwen gave him a wink before exiting the room and heading to the kitchen. 

As soon as she saw the Deacons sitting in their dining room, she froze.  _ How was she going to start this conversation? Would she and Giles be telling the truth? Or would they play it off as her cheating? That sounds like a far worse fate. They should be honest, truthful. Oh god, would they mention that Giles is seeing someone else too? Would she be okay with it being a man? Judy was cool, right? Christie, don’t call your kind-of-almost-mother-in-law ‘cool.’ Idiot. Go sit down. Be honest.  _

Gwen felt her feet moving before she was ready, her body felt excruciatingly heavy and incredibly light at the same time. Her head was starting to spin, the room following in suit. 

“Gwendoline?” She felt a warm hand against her cheek, grounding her and bringing her back. Her sight focused on Giles, his eyes scanning her face with worry. 

Gwen shook her head, resting her hand over his. She kept her voice down. “Yes, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s come over me. Nervous, I guess.”

He led her to a chair and sat her down. “Here.” He rubbed her shoulder and sat down between his mother and her. 

Judy was staring daggers at Gwen. The sudden wave of guilt and embarrassment swept over Gwen, she even felt herself breaking a sweat - the room now feeling incredibly hot and stuffy. 

Giles rested a hand on her shoulder. “Do you need a glass of water?” Gwen simply shook her head in response, a strong blush creeping up her neck. 

“Giles,” His mother piped up. “I don’t know why you’re not upset right now. If your father had done anything like this, he would be out on his ass so fast-”

“Mum, I knew.” 

The shock that washed over Judy’s face could only be described as comical. Her thin brows shot halfway up her face, her eyes wider than Gwen had ever seen, her mouth slack-jawed. When she spoke next, it was meek. “You knew?” 

Giles nodded, as if the talk of this was so casual. “Of course, Gwendoline and Nikolaj have been doing this for years.” 

_ Oh, we’re being completely honest.  _ Gwen grabbed the cup of coffee in front of her and drank a large gulp. Her mouth was becoming dry and any words forming in her mouth had turned to sand and dissipated. 

Judy’s look shifted back to furious, her slack-jawed mouth now opening and closing like a fish, huffing as she looked between the two of them. 

Giles continued, “We discussed it very openly, she was obviously attracted to him - who isn’t though - but we discussed openly what that meant for us because I… I was also attracted to someone else.” 

Gwen finally spoke up, but she fumbled over her words. “W-We are still very much together though. We still love each other, that won’t be changing anytime in the foreseeable future.”

“You’re together but you’re… You’re seeing other people?” Judy’s face slowly eased, trying to understand.

“Gwen and I still live together, we do things a couple would, but we… also do find comfort with other people.” Giles shrugged. He was trying his best not to look like a teenager caught doing something naughty. 

“Who? Is there more than one that each of you see?”

Gwen quickly shook her head. “I don’t see anyone other than Giles and Nikolaj.” 

Giles glanced to Gwen and nodded in agreement. “And I don’t see anyone but Gwen and Jonathan.” 

“Oh my god, you and  _ Jonathan?  _ You’ve known each other since high school. I didn’t know he…” The older woman trailed off, staring into her mug.

“Liked men? Well, neither did I until a few years ago.” Giles laughed, trying to lighten the mood. 

Gwen and Judy both just stared into their respective cups. Gwen was swirling around her coffee, bouncing her foot quickly against the wooden floor. 

Judy quietly looked up at Gwen. “I was going to be very upset that you were cheating on my baby boy.” She reached over and rubbed her  _ baby boy’s  _ shoulder. “But if it was a,” she paused, trying to choose the right words. “A mutual agreement, then that is between you… four. It is none of my business and I wish to never hear anything about this again.” 

Both Giles and Gwen shared a short laugh, their tensions easing, a strange weight lifted off their shoulders. 

But his mother continued still. “Of all your co-stars, I’m glad it is Nikolaj. He is rather handsome, and from what I saw, he has a very nice behind.” She gave Gwen a grin and sipped from her mug. "And don't you worry, this secret is safe with me."

Gwendoline just stared at her, absolutely unsure what the hell just came out of Judy’s mouth.  _ Did she really just say that Nikolaj had a nice ass? In front of Giles? Her son? The man she thought Gwen was cheating on just minutes ago? Was she not going to ask about her sleeping with a married man? _

Judy set down her mug and stood. “Well, I really should be going. Thank you for breakfast, Giles. Good to see you again, Gwendoline. Perhaps next time just not  _ so much  _ of you.” She patted Gwen’s burning cheek, gave her son a kiss on the cheek, then showed herself out. 

The silence that followed was the only awkward silence they had ever shared in their 7 years together. Gwen had started about a dozen different sentences but all of them fizzled out and died in her mouth. 

The one sentence she got out wasn’t one she was entirely expecting. “Do you really trust your 80 year old mother to get a cab for herself?” 

He took off his glasses and laid them on the table, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles. “She decided a weekend trip to see Melrose Abbey was a good idea because she’d never been. She went alone and didn’t tell me  _ or _ my sister.” 

Gwen laughed and leaned into him. “That could have gone so much worse.” 

“My mother is much more forgiving than others. But that went far easier than I anticipated.” 

“Thank god for Judy.” She sighed out and covered her face with her hands, resting her elbows on the table. “Nikolaj!” She called out. “You can come out now!”

Giles chuckled and rubbed her back as Nikolaj emerged from their room, his hair and clothes fixed now, looking much more put together than when she last saw him. But his brows were knitted tightly together. 

Gwen raised her head to look at him. “What?” 

“We have a problem.” 


	16. Write That Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why must you always ruin my moments?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello my lovelies. I'm not sure where this chapter came from in my mind but here it is! 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

“We have a problem.” 

Nik sat across from the two of them, sliding his phone over to Gwen. She blinked a few times before quickly scanning the article Nikolaj had pulled up. The headline read as such _“Game of Thrones star Nikolaj Coster-Waldau has divorced wife, Nukaaka Coster-Waldau, only to spend a long weekend with co-star Brienne of Tarth (Gwendoline Christie) in his comfy LA home.”_

He reached across the table and slid to another article. Another goddamn Blind Item, she shouldn’t have even joked about it. 

“I don’t even want to read that, Nikolaj.” She slid his phone back, then leaned back in her chair. “So, what do we do now? We hide it? We come out and be truthful? We say nothing at all?” 

Nik ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t know, I… we - um.” He sighed, putting a fist against his mouth. “We can’t be truthful. I was still cheating on my wife.” 

“Then we don’t address it. We go to the events, we see each other - maybe trying to be a little more _subtle_ about it. But we go on as we were before your divorce as if nothing’s changed, because it’s true. Nothing’s changed.” She glanced to Giles, who gave an approving nod. 

“I think that’s the wisest thing to do.” He rubbed Gwen’s thigh and sipped from his mug.

You could practically see the wheels turning in Nik’s head before he nodded. He ran a hand across his stubbly cheek. “Yes. That is good. We do normal things.” 

“We do need to start telling our friends though… so they don’t address rumors for us. I can start with people like Alfie, Finn, maybe Conleth. Lena and Peter are all yours.” 

Nik rubbed the back of his neck and mumbled something under his breath that sounded funnily enough like “Peter already knows.” 

She let out a short laugh. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Peter already knows. He was rooming next to us the first night we slept together… He confronted me the next morning while you were showering.” 

Gwen’s eyes widened and her jaw fell open. “Nikolaj Coster-Waldau… I could strangle you right now! That was _years_ ago, why didn’t you tell me?!” 

“I didn’t want you to worry!” He raised his hands in defense. 

Gwen crossed her arms over her chest. “Fine, Kristofer knows too.” 

Nikolaj nearly choked on the air he was breathing. “How does _Kristofer_ know?! That’s a terrible person to tell secrets to.” 

“He took my phone as a joke, probably to find something embarrassing. And _oh boy, did he._ He happened to find that video that _you_ took on _my_ phone of me, bent over the bathroom counter of my hotel room. Back at the beginning of season 8 filming.” 

Giles let out a low whistle, then stood. “Right, well I’m going to go work in my office. Don’t kill each other.” He kissed the top of Gwen’s head before promptly showing himself out. 

Nik looked down at his hands in his lap. “I’m sorry.” 

Gwen sighed. “I’m sorry too. How awful would it be to start telling them over the phone?” 

“Not awful. Better than not telling them at all.” 

She nodded. “I just think they should know before the premiere. Since we’ll be staying in New York for a while.” 

“I agree.” Nik stood and held a hand over to her. “Come on.”

“I-I didn’t mean now, I don’t want to tell anyone _now._ ”

“Just trust me a little, okay?” He gestured with his fingers, his hand still outstretched. 

She took it and stood, then proceeded to follow him back to the bedroom. He scooped her up as if she were a much smaller woman, then crawled into bed with her and snuggled up against her side. 

“I didn’t get my cuddle.” He buried his face into her shoulder, his arms snaking around her. 

Gwen couldn’t help but smile, wrapping her arms around him and pulling herself closer. “You’re ridiculous.” 

“You love me.” 

“I do.” She stroked the hairs at the back of his neck with delicate fingers. “You’re insufferable. But I couldn’t imagine things without you.” 

She could feel the smile spreading across his lips against her shoulder. “You’re mean and you tease me endlessly, but I still tolerate you, don’t I?” 

She scoffed. “Tolerate is a poor word choice.” 

“Oh yes? And what would be a better choice?” 

She cackled and laid her head back. “Willingly submit.” 

He put a hand to his chest and feigned a gasp. “I never _willingly_ submit to you.” 

Eager to prove her point, Gwen rolled them so she was on top of him, her hands grasping his wrists and pinning them above his head. She leaned in close and nipped at his ear, her voice a low and husky drawl. “Oh yes you do.” 

Nik stared up at her with wide eyes. “How could I say no to this?” 

“You can’t.” She pressed a tender kiss to his lips, then hovered over him. “Nikolaj?” 

He kissed her again softly before she sat up, straddling his thighs. “Yes?” 

“When did you know that you loved me?” 

Nik’s brows furrowed. “Why do you ask?” 

Gwen bit the inside of her cheek and played with the fabric of his shirt. “I want to know how long you had been waiting to tell me.”

“You’re going to think I’m an ass.” He sighed and sat up against the padded headboard, so he was almost sitting face to face with her. “I first realized it… when we were filming season six. When we filmed Brienne and Jaime’s reunion… It sounds incredibly cliche but giving her the sword, and saying the line, it always meant more than the script had intended.” He paused. “That’s when I knew for sure. But I truly started suspecting all the way back during the filming of season four.” He smiled, a little sheepish.

Her pale brows furrowed and she stayed silent. 

He grabbed her hand and gently traced his fingers along hers, tracing shapes along her palms. “When did _you_ know?”

_She didn’t even have an answer prepared for him. There’s so many different times where she so clearly showed she cared, but there’s no way she could pinpoint a single moment in which she fully grasped the idea that she loved him. She teased him relentlessly when she realized his little game to egg her on. She admired his work ethic and obvious desire to do his best. She admired how handsome he was. She admired his charming nature, even if he was a cocky asshole. She loved the way he checked on her after particularly taxing scenes. He came to training sessions he wasn’t even needed for. She stayed in a different country just to help him learn his lines better. But there was one moment that hurt more than the others._

“Gwen?” His voice came softly, his warm hand solid against her cheek. 

She felt the familiar burn in her eyes, the wet streak becoming cold on her cheek. _Oh god, she was crying._ “I-I’m sorry.” She swiped the back of her hand across her face. “I just…” She shook her head. “Now you’re going to think I’m an ass.” She laughed softly. 

“Whenever it was, it can’t possibly be as cheesy as mine.” He reassured, kissing her cheek. 

“When we were filming Jaime leaving Brienne. That whole week I had been thinking about the kiss, wondering why you had been so nervous to make it right when we had been kissing for years.” She gave a short laugh. “Watching you leaving after you… after you told me that you didn’t love me.” She sniffled, feeling more tears pooling in her eyes. “I know you did it because they told you to, to get the reaction they wanted but god that hurt. It hurt like a knife to the chest. And from that moment on I knew that all I ever wanted was just to love you unconditionally and have you feel the same. I never wanted to watch you walk away like that again, and knowing our time together was dwindling…” She gasped out a tiny sob before crumbling into him, her arms snaked around him tightly. 

“You say this as if we stopped seeing each other after filming ended.” Nik rubbed her back and kissed her head. 

“If you never told me that you loved me, I assumed you would grow bored of me… move onto some young pretty thing in Denmark.” Gwen tried to force a laugh, but what came out was just another pathetic cry. 

“Never. You’re all that I want Gwen. Everything I want and more.” He wrapped his arms around her tightly. Trying to ward away the insecurities and pain, enveloping her in his warmth and undying affection. 

Gwen pulled away from his grasp enough to place a kiss on his lips, wet with her tears. “Never in a million years did I think that I would find someone who not only took my breath away but filled me with life… Genuine and true love is so rare that when you encounter it in any form, it's a wonderful thing, to be utterly cherished in whatever form it takes.”

Nik smiled sweetly. “You should write that down.” 

She gently smacked his arm. “Why must you always ruin my moments?” She broke into a stupid smile. 

He looked down, lacing his fingers through hers. “Because I can never speak as eloquently as you do. Or say things like that without crying.” 

“You know I wouldn’t say anything if you did cry. It’s okay to cry.” She lifted his chin and kissed him softly, the backs of her fingers brushing along his cheek. 

He brought his eyes to meet hers, a single tear rolling down his cheek. “I love you. I love you so much.” 

“I love you too, Nikolaj.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I know I've ended a few chapters when them saying they love each other but it warms my cold, dead heart more than I'd like to admit.


	17. Officially

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Like… That is a funny word to use.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another small little chatty chapter. I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Let me know what you think.

Gwendoline and Nikolaj had been to lunch with his daughters. It had gone far better than Gwen was expecting, but still just as awkward. Gwen had started off nearly silent, just chiming in when she had a funny quip or a jest that got the girls to smile, most of them making fun of Nikolaj. But eventually, after some hours, the girls were having a full, in-depth conversation about the attractiveness of different actors and actresses - not even asking Nikolaj’s opinion on any of them. He’d try to get a word in from time to time, but after a while just sat back and was amused by the sight of his three favorite girls in the world just enjoying each other’s company. 

Throughout the day they had walked for miles. Nik and Gwen kept to themselves to avoid being noticed, though that was incredibly hard since she was… well, _her._ Hard to ignore a 6’3” giantess with a cackle that traveled to the far reaches of the Scottish highlands and back. Of course Nikolaj was hard to ignore as well, handsome as he was, and clearly far more well-known than she. 

But together… the attention they attracted was too much. They had been swarmed with fans and people with cameras. She could already see the horrible headlines that would get their friends and family talking. They were forced to get a cab back to his hotel, his poor daughters in tow. Nikolaj had made some calls on the way there, effectively paying off some of the paparazzi companies to keep those pictures at bay. They had gone their separate ways once they were on the right floor. 

Nikolaj kissed each of their heads and hugged them tightly. “I promise that won’t happen again. All I wanted was to have a little fun but… you know how these people are. They are crazy.” They all shared a short laugh and the girls offered their thanks anyways. 

Safina hesitantly walked over and wrapped her arms around Gwen. Gwen looked down at her, a confused look plastered on her face. The young girl lowered her voice so that only she could hear. “Thank you for keeping him so happy. I haven’t seen him smile this much in years.” 

Gwen immediately pulled her in tighter and shut her eyes, letting her cheek rest on top of Safina’s head. “Thank you for not being angry with me. I like him very...very much.” 

They pulled away from the embrace. Safina was smiling, almost shyly. “Like… That is a funny word to use.” She turned on her heel and joined her sister in their room. 

Nikolaj stepped into his hotel room, glancing around at his mess. Many of his clothes were thrown into a chair, there were various socks and shoes laying on the floor, his nightstand was a mess of sleep aids and electronics. 

Gwen chuckled softly and sat on the edge of his bed. “If we ever live together, we’re going to need to hire a maid. Giles does most of the cleaning in our house.” She kicked off her shoes, adding to the clutter. 

Nikolaj flopped face first onto the bed beside her. A muffled “good to know” came from him. He turned onto his side, his arm tucked under his head. “So, I suppose now would be a good time to start telling people.” 

Gwen sighed and nodded. “I _suppose._ ” She laid back just as he stood, shedding off his jacket. “I’m really quite nervous. I know we haven’t been all that cautious in keeping it a secret, but can we imagine some of their reactions? Are you sure that we can’t just continue-”

“Niko!” A familiar voice rang out from his phone. Gwen quickly sat up to see Nik attempting to prop his phone up against something on the dresser. He stepped back and waved. “How are you doing? Are you still in London?” _Oh shit, it’s Lena._

Out of frame, Gwen quietly stood and got even further away from his phone. Through gritted teeth she muttered out, “What on earth are you doing?” 

He looked over so casually and smiled like the dope he is. “I’m talking to Lena. Come say hi.” He reached out and grabbed her elbow. 

Before he could even pull her into frame, Lena’s demeanor soured. “Oh, hi, Gwen. I thought you two might be together.”

Gwen gave a polite smile and a wave. “Hi, Lena. How are things?” She asked, trying to keep the mood airy and light. 

She’d always loved Lena, she was incredibly outgoing and easy to be around, they’d always gotten along despite what their characters thought of each other. But Lena had been a little… off with her ever since her and Nik had started fooling around. _God, don’t call it that, you sound like a gossiping schoolgirl._ She didn’t approve of the whole sleeping-together-while-he-had-a-wife _thing_ that she “didn’t know about.” But no one really knew how complicated things were. 

“Things are going great. I’ve just gotten the scripts for a new film. Seems exciting, very action packed.” A small smile returning to her lips. 

“That’s wonderful, I just-”

“Gwen and I are together.” Nikolaj interrupted, his sudden outburst causing both women to fall silent. “Officially.” He tacked onto the end. 

Gwen covered her eyes with her hand. “Do you think you’ll ever learn the meaning of subtlety?” She spared a glance at him. His cheeky grin gave her the obvious answer. 

Lena’s chuckle drew their attention back. “What do you mean _officially_?” 

“I mean that Nukaaka and I are separating. And now we,” He gestured between their bodies awkwardly. “Are to be together more...seriously.” 

Gwen felt her body burning up. A slow burn starting in her chest and blooming upwards, all the way to the roots of her hair. _God, how can he be this handsome and this socially stupid at the same time?_

Lena had leaned back in her seat. “No shit… Huh, well I’ll admit. I wasn’t expecting that.” She nodded - almost approvingly - as if all the controversy and strife had been diminished, gone, dropped like it was nothing. “Congrats, I guess? We can talk more when we're in New York, yeah? This is huge. Have you told Peter yet? I’m sure he’s-”

Nikolaj started speaking quickly, reaching for his phone. “No, he doesn’t know yet, I’ll be sure to tell him. Can’t wait to see you in America, love you lots, okay, bye!” He hung up and stayed silent after a moment, then slowly turned to Gwen.

She stood there with her mouth agape, her hand extended in a typical ‘ _what the fuck was that’_ pose. “What is with you and interrupting people today? Why, why did you call her like that? Nik,” she sighed. “What in god’s name are you doing?” 

He waved a hand dismissively. “You start too seriously, they’ll think you’re pregnant or something big like that.” He started going through his contacts, in search of his next victim.

“Nik,” She gently grabbed his wrist. “You divorced your wife. You divorced your wife for me after you’ve technically been cheating on her for the past 5 years.” He went to object but she placed a hand over his mouth. “I know it was an agreed thing between you two, but to the public eye it was cheating. To our _friends…_ it was still cheating. It _is_ something _big like that_.” 

Nik gingerly grabbed her hand, pulling it away from his mouth before pausing, returning it, and placing a kiss on her open palm. “I don’t know how else to tell them. Being blunt and trying to make light of the situation,” he shrugged. “It’s the only way that seems right. Being serious doesn’t suit us well.” 

Gwen smiled softly at him. He had a point, _for once._ “Being serious doesn’t suit us, does it?” 

Nik used her hand to cover his mouth as he feigned a gasp. “Did Gwendoline Christie just admit that I was right?”

She pulled her hand away. “That’s not at all what I said.” She rolled her eyes in fake annoyance, a smile still on her lips.

“That’s what you implied.” He pointed a finger at her. “I will never let this one go.” 

“Oh I know you won’t. But you’ll never get another chance to rub it in my face.” She leaned in close enough to kiss his cheek, but she stopped herself short, instead nipping at his ear. “Because I’m _always_ right.” She whispered. 

Nik pulled away as he began to feel the all too familiar stirring in his trousers. He nodded quickly. “You’re always right.” He meant it too, he knew. 

“Right, well, I should probably get on my way. I’m quite exhausted still and Giles mentioned that he needed my help later today. But I’ll call you tomorrow? I can discuss with some individuals tonight and tomorrow about this whole,” she gestured in a circular motion. “Mess.” 

He smiled at her. “I can’t wait to see you again.” 

Gwen closed her arms around him and held him tight. “You’re such a sap.” 

“So are you.” He nuzzled his nose into her neck and kissed there lightly. 

She hummed in amusement. “Am I?” 

He nodded and swayed with her as they embraced still. “Such a softie. You just rarely show it.” 

Gwen smiled tiredly. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Nik.” She kissed him tenderly before pulling her shoes on and leaving him alone in his hotel room. 

The hours following proved to be strange. Her facetime call with Alfie drew on for longer than she expected, since he was one for details. He wanted to know the exact day she knew she wanted him, when she loved him, when they finally caved, what hotels they’ve done it at, what events they’ve done it at. She laughed through half her answers, being vague when he wanted the juicy details. 

“Do you think you’ll sneak off at the premiere?” He asked, practically vibrating with excitement. 

She cackled, throwing her head back. “Oh good lord! I don’t know!”

“I feel like you should, to really just seal the deal.” 

“I _feel_ that will be a little unfair to Giles.” She glanced over to the man sitting beside her. Giles simply quirked his lips in amusement and continued working on his sketch. 

“Oh please, that man _encourages_ you to get dick.” 

“I can’t say that you’re wrong.” Gwen raised her eyebrows. “Though I encourage him too.” She let out a short laugh. 

“Well I’m glad he’s finally free from that, and I’m glad that you’re happy. I’ll see you soon though, maybe I can get more out of you before you sneak off with that pretty boy.” 

Gwen shook her head and rolled her eyes. “I’m a locked safe, Alfie, you know that. But I’ll see you soon, love!” She hung up before he could protest. She laid her head on Giles’ shoulder and shut her eyes. “I missed you.” 

“I missed you too, I’m glad you’re home. The project I’m working on is almost done.” 

“Is that what this is?” She opened one eye to look down at his sketchbook. 

“No. This is for someone else.” He set his things down and wrapped her up in his arms. “It may need some adjustments, but it’s a wonderful first draft.” 

“I can’t wait.” Gwen whispered as she nuzzled into Giles. Letting the exhaustion of the days previous wash over her, it took her to a heavy, blissful sleep.


	18. Your Worries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you want me to do it for you?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello my lovelies. I'll be honest, I wasn't sure how I wanted this chapter to go when I first started on it. (I wasn't sure how I wanted this fic to go either, yet here we are.) I may do some revising or just change it entirely when I've gained back a lick of sanity. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Gwen sat on the bathroom floor, watching the timer on her phone tick down slowly. The silence filled the air and slowly started to become suffocating. 

**_One minute left._ **

_ How on earth can I be sitting here, waiting like a damn fool in my pink pajamas and fuzzy socks?  _

**_Fifty seconds._ **

_ I’m too old for this.  _

**_Forty seconds._ **

_ The boys would be elated.  _

**_Thirty seconds._ **

_ The boys would be devastated.  _

**_Twenty seconds._ **

_ At least my mother would be happy. Right?  _

**_Ten seconds._ **

Her heart was beating out of her chest, her limbs felt heavy, and her eyes burned. Can this really be happening? 

**_Five_ **

**_Four_ **

**_Three_ **

**_Two_ **

**_One_ **

She silenced it before it could even start ringing and nearly jumped out of her own skin as Giles knocked on the door. 

“Gwendoline, darling...is everything alright?” His voice was quiet, concerned. 

Gwen hesitantly reached over and unlocked the door. “You can come in…” 

He slowly opened the door and peeked his head in. “Why are you on the floor? Are you feeling unwell? I can go make you some soup. Or just get you water.” He stepped in and squatted in front of her. He placed the back of his hand on her forehead. “You’re not feverish.” 

Gwen felt the familiar sting of tears at the back of her eyes. “Giles, it’s not that. I’m not feeling unwell.” 

“Then why on earth are you sitting on the bathroom floor?” His lips pulled into an amused smile. 

“I might be pregnant.” 

He blinked slowly at her, whatever semblance of a smile he had now gone and replaced with shock. “What?” 

“I-I have the test sitting right there.” She gestured at the small stick sitting on the counter top. “I haven’t even looked at it yet.” 

Giles glanced at the test, then sat beside Gwen and gently rubbed her knee. “So...what if you are?”    


“What do you mean? Then I’m pregnant, I… I have a baby.” 

“Well,” he cocked his head to the side a little. “Not necessarily. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. But I’m... here to support you no matter what you choose.” 

“God, what did I do to deserve you?” She squeaked out the last of the sentence before bursting into tears. She sat up and wrapped her arms around him, her face buried into his shoulder. “I-I can’t, I can’t, Giles, I can’t… I thought I could but I can’t.” 

“Shh… Gwennie, you’re okay.” He stroked her hair. “I’ve got you, honey, I’m not going anywhere.” 

“What if-”    


“Darling, you haven’t even looked at the test.” He gently pulled away, grabbing her shoulders. “Do you want me to do it for you?” 

She nodded slowly, wiping the tears from her eyes, using the back of her sleeve. Giles stood and grabbed the test, looking at it, then at the box, then back at the test. The tension growing as he examined it closely only caused her heart rate to skyrocket and tears to further pool into her eyes. 

She choked out another sob. “Fuck, Giles, spit it out.” 

“You’re not.” 

She blinked a few times up at him. Her voice was quiet and hoarse. “I’m not?” She stood and grabbed the test from him. 

“One line. Not pregnant.” 

“Oh.” Is all she managed to say. 

Giles set down the box and leaned against the counter. “Gwen… were you hoping that you were?” 

She sat on the edge of the bath, elbows on her knees, the test still clutched tightly in one hand. “I don’t know. I…” She trailed off, swiping her sleeve across her eye again. “I wanted it so badly in the beginning but even just thinking that I was, for a short time, was the most terrifying thing.” 

Giles only stared at her, his brows knit together with worry and confusion. 

“I have a long list of concerns… regarding everything from my age to genetics to fertility and how you and Nikolaj would handle having a baby.” Gwen pressed the heel of her hand against her forehead.

She felt his leg brush against hers as he sat, a warm and solid hand resting against her back. “Gwen, I think that if this is something you really wanted, you wouldn’t be so afraid.” 

She leaned into him. “No, it’s quite the opposite really. I’m so worried because this is so important to me, I’m afraid of failing…” She shut her eyes tightly. “I don’t want to fail as a mother before I even get the chance to be one.” 

Giles pulled her into his arms once again. “Then maybe… Maybe this is something we can discuss with a doctor. To alleviate your worries?” He had a twinge of optimism in his voice.  _ Was this something he really wanted?  _

Gwen nodded slowly and laid her head on his shoulder. “When we get back I will. I don’t feel like going today when we’re leaving tomorrow.” 

He nodded back in understanding. “I’m a little surprised you aren’t. You two have been spending so much time together.” He squeezed her arm. “I’m surprised you can even walk most days.” 

“Giles!” She shoved him, hiding her laughter. “You’re horrible!” 

“I’m sorry, was that out of line?” He grinned and stood. “Oh, that reminds me. I have something for you.” He held his hand out to her. 

She took it and stood. “I don’t know how your brain gets from point A to point B sometimes, but I won’t object.” 

Gwen set the test down on the counter. She then followed Giles down the hall to his studio. The room was more cluttered than it usually was, several shades and textures of green fabric squares were pinned to the walls, rolls of the same fabrics strewn along the floor. Several pieces of paper were crumpled and scattered around his desk. The dress form by the window was covered with a pristine white cloth. 

“This is going to be a very Jaime giving Brienne armor type reveal, isn’t it?” She laughed and sniffled away the last of her tears. 

He smirked. “But I have two hands.” He grabbed the bottom of the cloth and pulled it up over the dress form. 

A forest green, silk dress was uncovered bit by bit before she took it fully. Gwen had seen the original design, but there was absolutely nothing like seeing the final product in all its glory. Grecian in style, she knew it would be very fitting on her. She stepped forward, being mindful of the items on the floor. She grabbed and felt the it in her hands, running a finger along the pleated fabric around the bodice. She admired the handcrafted flowers and the small crystals within them. It was perfect. 

She covered her eyes with her hand. “Oh god, it’s happening again.” She gave a short laugh. “I’m sorry. It’s beautiful, Giles, thank you.” She forced air in and out of her lungs, trying not to sob like she’s desperately wanted to all of today. 

She felt his arms around her yet again. He kissed her temple softly. “How about I get you something to eat, we relax in bed, and eventually - when the time is right - we figure out which doctor we want to go to.” 

She nodded and drug her hand from her eyes, taking in another long look at the gown. “Please.” 

“You go get into bed.” He walked her out of his studio, shutting the door behind them. 

Gwen kissed his cheek before walking down the hall to their room, Giles walking in the opposite direction to the kitchen. She crawled into bed, under the covers, and dragged one of her favorite decorative pillows to her chest.  _ How in the hell am I going to tell Nikolaj?  _


	19. Quiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Better be quick about it then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovelies. It's been a short while, but hopefully I'll keep this ball rolling. 
> 
> A large majority of this was written between midnight and 4am between other distractions, so my apologies. All mistakes are my own, I'll get to fixing those tonight. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

The flight to New York was strangely uncomfortable, both men with a hand on Gwen’s thighs. Giles was being far more touchy since he’d found her sitting on the bathroom floor. Nikolaj was being far more quiet since Gwendoline had told him this afternoon just hours before they left for the airport. 

Admittedly, he had been upset that it was negative. But ultimately ‘okay’, so he says, because now isn’t the best of times. They’re still under close watch for just a while longer, after the SAG Awards, they wouldn’t ever be together as a cast again… While that thought was excruciating, they had given them the best years of their lives, it was also a little exhilarating. What would the future hold for them? Would they even continue doing film acting? Gwen knew that she would do Midsummer back in London, that was a long journey awaiting her. Nikolaj was set to do Macbeth, but after that… they didn’t have anything else set in stone. 

The lack of noise on the plane was nearly too much for Gwen. It was late, most the passengers were sleeping or doing nearly silent activities. _I shouldn’t be thinking, I should be sleeping. But I really need to know what the hell is going through their heads right now._

As if reading her mind, Nikolaj leaned over to her. He planted a kiss on her cheek and lowered his voice to a whisper. “2 minutes.” He then excused himself, practically crawling over Gwen and Giles to get to the aisle where he proceeded to go towards the lavatory. 

Gwen blinked a couple times at him as he walked away. He gave a usual dashing smile and a wink before disappearing. _Oh god he’s being serious._

Giles set his jaw and spared a glance at her, remaining silent. 

She rested her head on his shoulder, her voice coming out barely above a whisper. “I can tell him to piss off.”

“No, just… just go ahead.” He took his hand off her thigh. She sat up to look at him, he only gave a slightly amused smile. “Don’t wake the whole plane.” 

“Hey, I’ll make it up to you, yeah?” She pressed a tender kiss to his lips. Giles gently grabbed the back of her head and held her there, meeting her mouth with a surprisingly hot and needy kiss. 

As Gwen blinked her wide eyes at him, Giles simply leaned back, a small smug smile playing at his lips. “He’s probably waiting for you.” 

She could only nod as her body pulled her up, into the aisle, and towards the lavatory. She pushed the door open and stepped inside, coming face to face with Nikolaj.

He grinned, glancing down at his watch. “I wasn’t expecting you for another minute and 45 seconds.” He reached around Gwen and locked the door. 

“Nik, really, you can’t be serious about… fucking in this tiny cubicle of a bathroom.” She glanced around and couldn’t help but chuckle. They looked ridiculous standing in here together, their heads nearly grazing the sloped ceiling, their bodies hardly a foot apart from each other. The heat radiating off of him was immense.

Nik pulled her flush against him, wrapping his arms around her. “Mm, that does sound like a bit of a challenge.” He purred. “But you know how much I love a challenge.” His hands trailed from caressing her back to gripping her ass. “Can you manage to keep quiet?” 

She scoffed and raised a brow. “Can _you_ ?” She did her best impression of Nikolaj, accent included, all while keeping her voice quiet. “Oh fuck yeah, what a dirty mouth you have, _Miss Christie._ Beg for me.” 

Nik bit back his laughter, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. But she saw the hint of mischief in his eyes, and could practically hear the wheels turning in his head. “If you think I sound silly, you should hear yourself.” He mused. Gwen’s eyes widened as she realized what he was about to do. Still biting back his laugh, Nik tilted his head back and let out a loud, high-pitched, whiny moan. _“Oh fuck, Nikolaj! Oh god, yeah! Harder!”_

Gwen clamped her hand over his mouth. “Shut the fuck up!” She hissed, her cheeks pink and her chest tightening as she tried and failed to stifle the laugh rising from her. “I cannot believe you just did that.” She gaped at him, the corners of her mouth still turned up.

They both stared at each other for a moment longer before dissolving into giggles and gasps, their foreheads pressed against each other. Gwen took in a deep breath and pressed into him further. “So are we fucking or not? I could use a bit of shut eye instead.” 

Nik grinned and kissed her, biting at her lip. “If that’s what you’d like.” 

They kissed crudely, wet and wanting, pressed together in this claustrophobic space. Their tongues sparred, probing unashamedly into each other’s mouths. Gwen’s gentle sighs and little moans at the back of her throat went straight to Nik’s dick, his jeans starting to become torturously tight. He grabbed her side possessively, nipping and biting down her neck now. _Don’t leave any hickeys,_ he told himself. She’d be livid. _Maybe just a little one. Her pale skin shows them off perfectly. Maybe I’ll just leave her with one on her-_

“Better be quick about it then.” Gwen said huskily, interrupting his thoughts. Nikolaj had been so distracted by this woman’s milky skin, he hadn’t realized she’d already undone his pants. 

“Oh.” He watched her nudge his legs apart with her knee, one foot hitting the sink cabinet, the other hitting the wall. “Oh?” His brows shot up in questioning before she sunk down to her knees. “ _Oh.”_

Gwen pulled his pants and boxers down to mid-thigh in one swift motion, his cock popping out and standing, half hard. She looked up at him, her big blue eyes full of a feigned innocence Nikolaj knew she didn’t possess. She wrapped her long, delicate fingers around the base of his cock, watching his face as she dragged her hand to the tip, then back. 

He sighed and ran his fingers through her hair. His eyes were dark and bored into hers, a lusty glaze masking the desperate need he felt. Gwen hid a smirk and wrapped her lips around him. Satisfied with the low groan that emanated from Nik, she took him deep into her mouth. 

With one hand fondling his balls, her other clinging firmly to his thigh, and her mouth so hot and wet - it was nearly too much for him. “God damn, your mouth is paradise.” He managed to groan out as Gwen bobbed her head. 

Gwen stilled beneath him, her hand seizing its movements too. Nik looked down at her, a confusing mix of concern and impatience surging through him. “Gwen?” He brushed her hair aside and noticed after a moment that her shoulders were shaking. “Gwen.” He stepped away. 

Slowly looking up at him, Gwen’s face was flushed, her mouth pressed into a thin line. As soon as they locked eyes she burst out laughing, her eyes screwed shut and her hands clasped together tightly in front of her. “I-I am so sorry! I just, fuck, you-” She practically wheezed for air. “Your mouth is paradise?! What kind of shitty porno did you pick that up from?” She cackled, throwing her head back. 

Nik’s cheeks began to burn up, his mouth hanging open. “I just… I don’t know. Forget it.” He sighed, tugging his pants up. 

Gwen carefully stood, using the sink as a crutch. “No, no, I’m sorry.” She grabbed his hands, her body still shaking with laughter. “I,” She doubled over and inhaled deeply, wheezing yet again. “I am, I’m sorry.” 

Nikolaj glared at her, his entire face now brightly hued red, his brows set in a harsh line. “This isn’t funny, now if you’d let me fix my pants.” 

Gwendoline composed herself and shook her head. “Oh no, I’m not leaving until you cum.” She started shoving his pants further down his legs, since he’d gotten them nearly over his hips. 

“And what about you?” Nikolaj unhooked her belt, then started with her button and fly. 

“Well then that’s a perk.” She winked and shoved her trousers and panties down, rather unceremoniously. Leaning over the sink, she planted both her hands on either side of the mirror. She glanced over her shoulder at Nik, giving her rear a little shake in his direction. 

Nik watched her quietly, that carnal, vicious, unholy feeling taking over again. He needed to be inside her. He needed to feel her right now. Grabbing the base of his cock in one hand, the other gripping tightly at her thigh, he lined himself up and pushed himself inside. Inch by inch, slowly but surely. 

Gwen bit her lip and smirked at Nik in the mirror. She inhaled sharply as he ground his hips against hers, both hands now gripping handfuls of her soft flesh. Buried as deep as he could be, Gwen’s eyes rolled back momentarily before regaining focus on his face. Nik’s face was screwed up in concentration, the tip of his tongue trapped between his teeth. _What on earth is he concentrating so hard on?_

Relishing in the feeling of her tight pussy before a few long moments, Nik was regaining control. He needed to not spill inside her like a teenage boy two pumps in. 

Once again, Gwen interrupted his thoughts. “Get on with it then. Unless you’d like me to do all the work.” She gyrated her hips, pressing against him heavily. 

“God, those fucking hips of yours.” He tightened his grip and pulled almost all the way out before snapping his pelvis against hers. 

The next several minutes went by in a blur of quiet moans, heady whines, and the muffled slaps of skin against skin. Gwendoline had a vice-like grip on a fistful of Nik’s hair, the other alternating between rolling her taut nipples through her thin t-shirt and biting her fist to keep from screaming. Nikolaj’s arm was wrapped tightly around her waist, holding her back to his chest like his life depended on it. His free, more skilled hand was rubbing firm circles around Gwen’s clit. 

She did her best not to shout his name, instead whispering long strings of profanities or hushed squeals when his cock hit that hidden spot within her. But her quiet moans had been gaining volume with every passing moment, despite her best efforts. She inhaled shakily just as she was about to make that final leap, her walls tightening and fluttering around Nik’s thick cock. 

He clamped a hand over her mouth and pounded into her faster, swiping his fingers across her aching clit more harshly until she came. Her muffled scream, followed by the airy whimpers only spurred him on. But he didn’t last long with the persistent pulsing in her cunt. He came inside her with a low, husky grunt, his hips jerking violently against her already shaky legs. 

Gwen’s deep, uneven breathing was all that could be heard in the quiet that followed. Nikolaj buried his face into her neck, nuzzling his rough stubble against the supple skin there, planting soft kisses when he felt it necessary. 

“Nik… you’ve been quiet today.” 

He spared a glance at her in the mirror. Both their faces were flushed, but relaxed, even if Gwen’s brows were furrowed in worry. “I’m sorry, I’ve been thinking a lot about what you told me… I wanted to start trying again.” 

Gwen gave a slight nod with an almost inaudible “okay.” 

Slowly, they cleaned themselves up, helping one another dress while staying steady. Returning to their seats, the plane seemed to be even more quiet than it was when they’d originally ventured off. Settled in, cozied up underneath their blankets, they tried to find sleep for the remainder of the long flight ahead of them. 

Gwen glanced cautiously glanced around the cabin before pressing a kiss to Nik’s cheek. “I’m sorry I laughed at you. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.” 

Nikolaj’s cheeks started to burn at the reminder. “No need, it did sound silly.” 

“We all say funny things when we’re driven mad with love, or lust.” She offered a smile. “Sleep well, okay? Big day tomorrow.” She turned and rested her head on Giles’ shoulder. 

Giles wrapped his arm around Gwen, pulling her snuggly against him. Both men locked eyes, staring one another down. God, what jealous bastards they were.


	20. Just Listen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yes!” “No!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovelies. I hope you're all doing well. I can't say I know what I'm doing or where I'm going with this fic. I'm kind of just letting the words write themselves. Comment what you think should happen with this mess. 
> 
> And as always, let me know what you think! 
> 
> (Thank you, my lovelies. You've been an incredibly wonderful audience.)

Getting to the hotel was a struggle. From nearly losing a suitcase, to the escort vehicle being late, to the dozens of people who immediately recognized Gwendoline and Nikolaj. It was hell. Things had only gotten worse when they arrived at their rooms, Nikolaj had been slowly trying to coax Gwen to his room when she had clearly intended to stay with Giles until their stylists arrived. 

Gwen grabbed him by the ear and yanked him close, lowering her voice so as not to let anyone in the nearby rooms hear. “Nik, really, you know this is how things go. When I book a room it’s separate from you regardless of if Giles is here or not. When Giles is here, I stay with him. When he’s not, I stay with you.” 

Nik only frowned in response. 

“Don’t.” She warned. 

“Gwen, just for a little while?” He pleaded. 

She let out a frustrated growl low in her chest and shoved him into her room with Giles. Both men stared at her with wide eyes, Giles clutching a nice dress coat in front of himself, having just started the process of unpacking. 

“You’re both acting absolutely foolish! You’re making this more complicated than it needs to be.” She huffed and sat at the foot of the bed. “Sit, both of you, we’re talking this through before we leave.”

Giles hesitantly finished hanging up his suit, then sat against the headboard. Nikolaj glanced around, then sat on the spinny chair by the desk. He looked incredibly uncomfortable as he glanced from Giles to Gwen, then back, and back again. His white knuckle grasp on his own hands didn’t go unnoticed. 

“Right, well,” Gwen started, laying back and covering her eyes with her arm. “What can we do to make this work better? This tension between all of us is new and, quite honestly, scaring me. You’re both jealous.” 

Giles scoffed. “I’m not jealous.”

“But you are. It’s getting to be quite tiring. Giles, you and I have been together for years now, don’t you think that we’ve established what this relationship is? We’re here for each other emotionally and mentally. You see other people, I see other people.”   
  
“Yes, but now you’ve been confiding in Nikolaj. He’s taking care of your emotional needs, therefore you’ve been more distant with me.” Giles said rather flatly. 

_Oh… I hadn’t even thought of that._ Gwen uncovered her eyes. “Yes, I suppose… I suppose that’s correct. We haven’t discussed things since… Nikolaj got divorced.” 

Nik cleared his throat. “I don’t want to intrude on what you have.” 

Giles raised a brow. “But?” 

“But,” He paused. “I love Gwendoline and I want to be together with her in every way possible. I mean hell, we’re thinking about having _children_ together.” 

“As in _multiple_?” Giles blanched. 

Gwendoline and Nikolaj spoke at the same time. 

“Yes!” “ _No_!” 

They slowly looked at one another. Nik cocked his head to the side. _“No?”_

Gwen shook her head quickly. “I don’t even know if I can have _one._ And if we do, I doubt I’ll want another.”

“It would be so much easier after having the first one. Then we have two out of the way. They’ll be close in age. What’s not to like about that?” 

She sat up. “Nik, do you know me at all?” 

Nik smiled softly. “I know, I know. Even one is a massive step for you. For us.” 

Gwen sighed quietly. “Okay.” She rubbed her tired eyes. “Well, how about I take a shower and you two discuss?” 

Giles looked at her with pleading eyes. “No, stay.” 

She glanced between both men. “Well get on with it. Giles is jealous that we’re distant, Nikolaj is jealous because…?” She made a ‘go on’ motion with her hand, giving a very pointed look at Nik. 

Nik muttered something under his breath. When Gwen only blinked at him he sighed and sat up straight. “I don’t like to share.” 

Gwen stifled a laugh and hung her head low. Behind her, Giles just raised his brows at him. “How unfortunate for you.” 

Gwen reached behind her and smacked his leg. “Come on, you used to be jealous of other people in the beginning. You can’t blame him.” She had a smile tugging at her lips. 

The silence between the three of them drug on for longer than any of them would have liked. It eventually led to Nikolaj going back to his room, leaving Giles and Gwen alone. Giles pulled Gwen against his chest and kept her there as he spoke. 

“I need you to just listen for a minute, okay?” He said soothingly. 

Panic struck her immediately, causing her body to tense. _Please don’t do this._ She nodded despite herself. 

“I love you, you know that. I always have. But it’s fair to say that we’ve been drifting from one another over the years, especially now. You fell hard and fast for Nikolaj long before you ever admitted it, I’ve been with Jonathan for some time now.”

Gwendoline’s heart started to race, a lump forming in her throat while tears started to burn the back of her eyes. _No, no, no, not now. Not after everything we’ve been through together._ She gripped the front of his shirt tightly. 

“I think perhaps it’s time that we-”

“No!” She protested. She sat up and grabbed his face. “No, Giles, I refuse to lose you right now.” 

Giles only gave a reassuring smile. “You think you’re not going to see me nearly every day for tea? Gwen, you’re planning on having a baby together. That means living together, making a nice nursery for you to eventually nest in. I will be there every step of the way, just from a distance.” He grabbed her hands and brought her to his chest again. “I’ll keep dressing you and the little one. I’ll come to every event and show and every… _thing_ for them, if you ask me to.” 

“Giles, you know I still want you there.” She sniffled, the warm tears streaking down her rosy cheeks. “Just please stay around. Come to the award shows, come to the play, if we do have a baby, I want you to be there when they’re born-”

He made a face. “I don’t know about that.” He joked. “You know how I feel about birthing, so messy. Bit traumatizing, really.” 

She pulled away and smacked his chest. “You’re terrible.” She couldn’t help but smile sadly at him. “I’m going to miss you. I know we’ll see each other, but we’ve shared a home for so long…” 

He nodded, sharing the same upset smile. “I know. I’ll miss you too.” 

“Giles, I-” A sob caught in her throat. “I know you’re right. You know how much I hate admitting that.” She forced a short laugh. “I can’t let you go that easily. I’m too stubborn to let you leave. I love you. I love you endlessly.”

“But you have a new chapter of your life ahead of you. A whole new book, really.” He smiled and wiped a tear from her cheek. “You’ll never properly get rid of me.” 

“I hope not. You’re sure as _hell_ not getting rid of me.” 

Giles grabbed her hands and kissed her tenderly. “Now go grab your suitcase, and go spend time with Nik. We’ll discuss more when we get home. If you need me, I’ll be right across the hall.” 

Gwen gave a little nod. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

Gwendoline grabbed her things, gave Giles a proper kiss, then knocked on Nik’s door just across the hall. Nikolaj answered with an irritated look on his face. It softened when he realized she had her bag and the fact that her cheeks were still wet with tears. 

“Gwen, baby, what’s wrong? What just happened?” He pulled her into his room. 

“Nothing, really, I’m okay.” She walked past him and sat down on his bed. 

Nik let the heavy door close on its own, instead kneeling in front of her and grabbing her hands. “Gwendoline.” 

She stared at their joined hands and spoke quietly. “Giles and I are… mutually separating… I suppose.” 

“But you just said that you’ve been together for years. T-That you two knew how things were between you and it _worked._ I’m confused.” 

“Well yes but now that you and I are headed in an entirely different direction, things couldn’t possibly stay the same… even if we tried extremely hard. And it’s not as if I’ll never see him again.” She removed her hand from his grasp and waved it dismissively. “We um, we shouldn’t discuss this now. We have to get ready soon. Just know that we’ll figure it out soon enough.”

Nikolaj swiped a tear off her cheek with his thumb. “Hey, we don’t have to figure everything out all at once. One step at a time. But firstly, we have to shower before the stylists get here.” 

Gwen nodded, chewing the inside of her lip. “Okay.” 

Nikolaj stood and held out his hand. “Join me?” 

She hesitantly took it, holding it tightly. _Today was going to be a long day._


	21. In Love With an Idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I guess I’ve found a new nickname."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovelies. I thoroughly enjoyed rewatching Nik and Gwen videos between writing my last chapter and this one. I want to write all the fluff in the world but lord knows I can't pull that off. Maybe I'll... attempt something. 
> 
> But anyways, my babies. Let me know what you think!

Gwendoline and Nikolaj had spent hours getting ready. And by hours… that meant Gwen’s stylists taking hours to get everything perfect while Nik fucked around in his room until the final hour. He’d popped in multiple times to check on her, bring her food and drinks they’d ordered in before the stylists had even arrived. Every time he entered he was hit with a wall of sound, with a mix of Madonna and strange techno music she claims her friend made - regardless, he loved watching her enjoying herself. 

Gwendoline looked _incredibly gorgeous._ In an Iris Van Herpen dress that looked like it was sewn onto her body, perfectly tight in all the right places, but the sleeves were flowing and ethereal. She loved showing them off, Nikolaj noted, watching her from the sidelines like a love-stricken fool. He loved watching her flouncy hair blowing in the gentle breeze, the way her eyes lit up upon seeing all their co-stars and friends, the glimpses of her long legs peeking out from the colorful fabric. He’d spent far too long feeling the soft, sheer dress between his fingers while they were in the car. Gwen shot him a smile and let him, similarly feeling the satin-like suit he was wearing. Her long graceful fingers ghosting along his knees and thighs. 

He couldn’t stop watching her throughout all of the pictures and interviews, though he kept his distance from her. Of course they’d been seen together in London but they weren’t completely ready to go to any events… _together,_ especially since Giles was still there. He watched her chat with Finn and Alfie, with Emilia and Kit, and even George himself for a short while. Of course they took a few photos together, but went their separate ways as to not look suspicious… but perhaps that made them look even more suspicious. 

Nikolaj flinched as a hand grazed his elbow. He quickly turned and expected to be face to face with someone, though his gaze quickly fell down to Peter’s level. “Oh, hey.” 

“God, you are pathetic.” Peter grinned at him. “We’ll be speaking later, dear brother.” He patted him on the back. 

“Oh, I’m certainly looking forward to that.” Nik jested, though a wicked smile broke across his face. “Though I don’t know if you’ll get the chance.” 

“Making plans already?” He laughed. “Well, make it quick. We’re down a Lannister today. Lena stayed home, she’s ill.” 

Nik’s giddy mood had dampened almost immediately. “Oh. We’ll talk later. Now go join that wife of yours.” He nudged him in Erica’s direction. Peter went and began the long journey of photos and interviews none of them wanted to do, dragging his wife alongside him. 

Nikolaj trailed slowly behind Gwendoline and Giles, greeting his friends and acquaintances. A strange bout of sadness was hanging over the large group, but an underlying sense of excitement. It was their last premiere, but they were ready to go out with one final hurrah. Their time all together was waning, the amount of award shows they were attending together was down to a handful. It was truly the end of an era, starting their new chapters in various different ways. But regardless of what uncertainty the future held, Nik was grateful that Gwen wasn’t going anywhere. 

Gwendoline snuck a glance at Nikolaj over her shoulder, then looked to Giles. “Will you go find us our seats, I’d like to freshen up first.” 

Giles gave her a knowing look and smiled. “Of course.” 

Gwen slowed her long strides, letting Nik catch up to her, then leaned in and whispered to him. “Follow me but please, god, don’t make it obvious.” 

Nik only gave a slight nod, the giddy and delighted feeling creeping back up. He had been waiting for another event like this. They had always made time to sneak away, though he had to admit, the after-party would have been easier to pull off. But now he couldn’t possibly wait. 

Gwen smiled and oh so casually looped around so she was leaving the auditorium and headed for the bar. She ordered a gin and tonic before daintily taking the small glass and wandering down the long, regal hall. She wasn’t easy to ignore, towering over most people there, her dress flowing gracefully as she weaved through the crowd. 

Nikolaj got himself a nice old fashion, and kept a keen eye on where his lover went. Once Gwendoline was away from the bustling crowd, she took a long swig from her glass and sighed. _God, what are you doing?_ She took another sip before pushing into the restroom. She set her drink down and checked all the stalls. Empty. 

Relieved, she turned and locked the door. 

Nikolaj received a text moments later. 

Gwen *heart*: _Clear.  
_ Gwen *heart*: _Don’t be suspicious._

Glancing around the bustling room, he decided that perhaps _not_ sneaking around like a James Bond movie was the way to go. He gave his usual charming smile to a few well-dressed women as he wove his way through the mildly overwhelming sea of people. All the aromas of expensive and cheap perfumes and colognes wafted together, a few singular ones standing out a little _too_ much. The bright flashes of cameras paired with luminescent, shiny, attention grabbing outfits individuals donned was nearly blinding from time to time. 

It was times like this he wanted to be back in his hotel, alone, with a hard drink. Or maybe with Gwendoline, there wouldn’t be any need for drinks because she was intoxicating enough. _God, I’m a sappy idiot._ True though. _I know it is._

He scanned the long, ostentatious hallway. Then rapped gently on the door with _Ladies_ painted in big scrawly letters. 

Gwen unlocked the door, opened it, and pulled Nikolaj inside before locking it again behind him - all in one solidly smooth motion. But she’d done this before, they both have. 

They had rules. 

  1. Clothes stay on
  2. Clothes are carefully maneuvered around
  3. Must be quick
  4. Must be quiet
  5. Within the following 24 hours, they have to have sex again, but take their time



Number 5 was recently added. Gwen and Nik both found it necessary in these last few weeks to practice proper aftercare. Of course in their years of fucking they’d made sure the other was okay, helped each other clean up, and on the rare and drunken occasion, fallen asleep together. But it was still an affair at that time, it felt wrong to exchange such an intimate and domestic moment like that when it was supposed to be ‘ _just fucking.’_

Gwen grabbed his tie and pulled him close, her lips ghosting over his. Her soft breath tickled his skin, his chest tightening a little. “You look so fucking handsome out there.” Her husky voice hardly above a whisper. “So hard to keep my hands off of you.” 

Nik had already felt a stirring in his trousers in anticipation on the way there. But now, with her this close, and looking this enticing. He couldn’t help himself. He placed a hand at the back of her neck and surged towards her, smashing his lips to hers. 

Her squeak of surprise dissolved into a low, breathy moan. 

“Why are we talking about me looking handsome when you look like this?” Nik drawled, his hands glided down the front of her gown. “You’re loving all the attention you’re getting, aren’t you?” He brushed his thumb over the small bud pressing against the fabric of her dress. 

Gwen bit her lip with a grin. “Maybe just a little.” She undid his belt with swift fingers before his button and zipper followed. “But I’m glad I’ve caught your attention.” 

Nik smiled. “I felt that Kit was stealing a few glances in your direction.” He jested. 

“Well yes, but Emilia was stealing even more.” She winked. 

A sudden question popped into Nik’s head. “Which do you prefer more?” 

Gwen cocked her head. “Between Kit and Emilia.” 

“Between men and women?” 

She raised a brow and shoved his pants down his thighs. “You.” 

“So, men?”

Gwen sunk down, balling her dress up in her arms. “That’s not what I said.” She grabbed his half hard cock and stuck out her tongue before she took one long lick of him. 

Nik groaned and gently tucked her hair behind her ear. She gingerly wrapped her lips around the tip of his cock, hollowing out her cheeks and taking him in slowly, teasingly, nearly torturous. Throughout their years, she knew how to make him squirm and writhe, how to bring him right to the edge. She palmed his firm and cute little ass in her hands, moving her mouth up and down the length of his shaft. 

Nik resisted the urge to grab her hair and hold it back, he knew how long the stylists had spent on it. He held onto the wall, a strangled moan rising in him as the tip of his cock hit the back of her throat. Wet, hot, and so-

“Oh f-fuck, Gwen.” He screwed his eyes shut as she moaned and hummed around his length. Good god, he was incredibly hard. 

She released him with a quiet _pop._ She got up to her full height, a wicked grin on her face. Nik was dizzy, his eyes focused on her radiant sapphire eyes. _You’re one lucky man, Nikolaj._ He told himself that multiple times a day, and he believed it 100%. 

Gwen laughed softly and kissed his cheek. “You need a minute?” 

“No, god no.” In one fluid motion, he pulled Gwen flush against him, grabbed her thighs just below her ass, and lifted her up onto the counter. 

It was a struggle for them both to get her dress out of the way, but when the moment finally came, Nik wasted no time. He pulled her rather boring panties out of the way and drove his cock into her. 

Gwen mewled out Nik’s name and locked her ankles behind him, pulling him in until he was buried to the hilt. They remained still for only a few moments, their forehead pressed together as their hearts thudded in their chests. Together, they began moving together as one. Nikolaj kept a bruising grip on her hips as he thrust mercilessly into her. His quiet grunts were mixing with Gwen’s breathy whines and the gentle rustle of clothing.

The need to be silent was something they hated. Nik loved hearing Gwen’s cries, her panting out his name, or the little gasps she gave as she came down from her pleasure driven high. Gwen had been coaxing Nik to be more vocal over the years, for how cocky he was in day to day life, he started off quite shy in the bedroom. She lived for his husky grunts and groans, they only heightened the experience for her. 

Though in times like this, they’d found that the best way to stay quiet is to keep their mouths occupied. Their tongues were hot and wanton, dancing together, sparring between the grunts and gasps. The erratic and nearly aggressive snapping of his hips wasn’t going to let either of them last long. Gwen was already digging her short nails into his ass, their kisses becoming more sparse as their heavy breaths were interfering. 

Nik reached between them and pressed the pad of his thumb to the sensitive bud between her thighs, rubbing quick and methodical circles around it. As a repercussion, he was certain Gwen had broken the skin as she tightened her vice-like grip. But she tilted her head back, her delectably milky skin on display. Nik could feel her tensing up, her thighs starting to jerk and her breath becoming uneven as she screwed her eyes shut. 

A few more thrusts and she was sent over the edge with him following right after. A drawn out, low moan escaped Nik’s mouth when nothing but a high-pitch squeak came from Gwen. Buried deep inside her, her cunt still pulsing around him, he couldn’t help but snicker. 

Dazed and looking like she’d drank the entire bar, Gwen looked at him, her brows furrowed. “What?” 

“I think we’ve set a new record for ourselves.” He carefully wrapped his arms around her and held her to his chest. “But that noise. What the hell was that?” He laughed. 

She smiled against his shoulder, releasing her grasp on his flesh, _finally._ “I can’t say even I know.” 

“I guess I’ve found a new nickname. I very much enjoy it and I haven’t even said it out loud.” 

“I don’t want to know.” Gwen breathed deeply, draping her arms over his shoulders. 

“I’ll save it.” He kissed her cheek. “Now come on. We have a premiere to go see.” 

With a grunt of disapproval from Gwen, they quickly cleaned themselves up and fixed their clothing. Gwen threw on a touch more lipstick, though she doubted anyone would notice, it was nearly the same color of her natural lips. 

Nikolaj unlocked the door after grabbing his drink. He poked his head into the hallway, then turned to Gwen. He gingerly grabbed her hand and placed a kiss on her knuckles. “I’ll be seeing you shortly, _squeaks._ ” 

Gwen rolled her eyes, but couldn’t held the stupid smile and blush that blossomed from her cheeks. Watching him slip away into the hall, she sighed happily. _God, I’m in love with an idiot._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely will come back and edit the hell out of this. Forgive my mistakes as usual. 
> 
> Also, I know there’s definitely a few changes in location for the premiere. There was a fan meeting area, the proper red carpet, and the Radio City Music Hall theater itself where they viewed the episode, as well as a place for the after-party. I’ve no idea if these were all the same location. I cannot even be bothered to check, just imagine I know what I’m talking about.


	22. Heart-Shaped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How do you take those off?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovelies. I hope you've all been well! Keeping yourselves busy and/or entertained! I've been doing everything but writing, which is why this chapter has been sitting here, half-written, since I posted my last chapter. 
> 
> Anyways, babies, let me know what you think!

The premiere of the first episode was fine. That’s truly the only way they could describe it, _fine._ You could feel the tense energy hanging over everyone’s heads, the strain it had on everyone’s reactions was curious. Gwen had held Nik’s hand in her lap the entire time, her shoulders frigid and her palms a little clammy. 

_Was she nervous that they were holding hands in public? Was she nervous that someone would notice? Or was this just how Gwen was when watching their own show?_ Nikolaj couldn’t even properly focus on what was happening on the screen, he was too deep in his own thoughts, wondering if he was making her this rigid or if she was just… this way. 

The way tensions had lessened at the after-party was nearly comical. Shoulders relaxed, smiles slowly became more genuine, drinks came flowing in, and cliques were separated. It was strange how it happened, but somehow it always did. In the beginning, the cast would break off into their respective ‘families’, the Starks, the Lannisters, though they were short one. Emilia, Nathalie, Kit, and Rose were nearly inseparable. Gwen and Nik stuck together and joined with Conleth and Peter, spirits high and conversation light. 

As soon as their hotel room door clicked, Gwen was pressed against it. Nik had his mouth against her creamy skin that he’d been yearning to kiss and touch all damn night. He got straight to work on sucking a small bruise into the hollow of her throat. 

“N-Nikolaj!” Gwen gasped out. 

He hummed against her skin and shut his eyes, moving to a new, untouched spot. 

“Nik!” She shoved him by his shoulders. 

His eyes widen, the fear immediately setting in. _Oh my god it was me that was making her uncomfortable. She’s been waiting to get me off her case all night._

She covered her face with her hands and sighed deeply. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to push you away like that-”

“I can go.” 

She looked at him through her fingers, then pulled her hands away. “What?” 

“You’ve seemed uneasy all night, so I can go get another room if you don’t want me to...stay.” Nik stared down at her face, watching her expression shift into one of confusion. 

“What the fuck are you _talking_ about, Nikolaj? I was holding your hand most of the night. I kept you within arms reach. I _willingly_ came back to _our_ hotel room.” She grabbed her shoes off her feet and tossed them by her suitcase. 

“So you’re not… upset?” 

“No, of course not! But you know how these events make me feel. It’s a lot of people and a lot of conversation and it’s horribly draining sometimes. I just thought we might shower and wind down rather than… ravishing each other like wild animals.” She grinned. “Now come help me out of this dress.” 

Relieved, Nik let out a quiet breath. _Maybe just ask her next time before you assume things, idiot._ He gestured her over and couldn’t help but smile as she kissed his cheek. God, she was so gentle when she wanted to be.

“I know I already told you,” Nik kissed her neck as he moved behind her. “But you looked...unreal tonight - absolutely incredible.” He kissed again between her shoulder blades. 

Conscientiously, he unzipped and assisted in removing the extravagant gown. Though he took his sweet time, admiring the vast amount of light freckles that were scattered across her porcelain skin. In the winter months he hated seeing them fade, though she preferred they stay that way. He wanted to count them, to kiss each individual one - she’d probably let him too - especially the ones that bloomed from her cheeks. Those happened to be his favorites. 

He ghosted the tips of his fingers down her spine, eliciting a shiver from her. “You are so gorgeous. I could sit and admire you for hours.” 

Gwen turned to face him with a gentle smile. “You’re such a sap.” She placed a hand on his chest and a kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

“I am. But you love it.” A cocky grin sprouted from his lips. 

“I never said I didn’t.” She hung the gown and carefully placed it in it’s protective casing, ready to be returned tomorrow. Clad now only in a rather boring set of nude panties and heart-shaped pasties, she went back to Nik. 

He raised a brow in amusement. But that quickly vanished as she started undressing him, slowly… deliberately. The tie went first, simply being slipped off over his head. Next was the shirt, which she undid slowly, stealing tender kisses from him when she didn’t have to stare at her hands. She ran her nimble fingers along his chest, through his greying chest hair. 

“I remember when these used to be blonde.” Gwen smiled.

“I remember when your hair was short.” 

She hummed in amusement. “That wasn’t all that long ago.” 

“No, but I liked it. Made you look powerful.” He kissed her, his fingers grazing the back of her neck. “But I like it much better when it’s long.” 

“You know I like it better when it’s long.” She slipped his jacket off his shoulders. 

Nik tossed the item on the bed, his shirt following behind shortly. He toed off his shoes, nudging them towards his open suitcase that was laying on the floor. Gwen laced her fingers through the loops of his trousers and pulled him in, her nearly bare chest pressing against his. His coarse chest hairs scratched at her smooth skin, but not in an uncomfortable way - though she couldn’t say she loved it. One of her fondest memories was when he came to her with his chest waxed, she couldn’t keep her hands off of his incredibly smooth pecs. 

Together, they got him out of his pants before retreating into the rather lavish bathroom. Gwen turned on the water and got the temperature to her liking. She turned to find Nikolaj much closer than she had anticipated. 

“How do you take those off?” He questioned. 

“Pardon?” 

He simply prodded the pasty that was still covering her nipple, his brows furrowed in genuine thought. 

“Oh, you just,” She gently placed a hand at the top of her breast and held it taut, then peeled away the adhesive in a downwards motion, only wincing slightly at the mild sting. “And then you’re done.” 

You could practically see the wheels turning in his head. He noted the way she gently tugged the edge away from her sensitive skin, the way she peeled it slowly and carefully, how there was no heart shaped red mark left behind due to the care she took. But somehow - beside all that thinking - he did the unthinkable. 

Nikolaj haphazardly grabbed the bottom of the sticker, effectively pinching her skin in the process, then proceeded to tear it off in an upwards motion as fast as he possibly could. 

“ ** _OW!_ ** _What the fuck is_ **_wrong_ ** _with you?!”_ Gwen instinctively covered her assaulted breast with both her hands, almost cradling it as if it would make the pain disappear. And - without so much as a second thought - she drew her arm across her body, then used all the power in her to swing it back at him, hitting his chest full force with an open palm with a sharp _smack_. 

Nik’s mouth fell open as he looked down at the now reddening mark. “Ouch, Squeaks.” 

“Don’t you dare! Nik, that _hurt!_ ” She stripped out of her panties, and stepped into the boiling hot water that was already steaming the large hotel mirror. 

“Oh come on.” He quickly stripped and got in at the opposite side, immediately being hit with what could only be described as liquid death. Letting out a long string of Danish curses, he flattened himself against the icy cool tiles, staying safe from the molten stream of water. “Are you trying to boil yourself?” 

Gwen raised a brow at him and stepped into the water, seemingly unfazed. _What a curious creature she was._ They showered with only a minimal compromise on the temperature and copious amounts of teasing. One comment Nik gave received another gentle smack on the chest, though she was cautious to avoid the five-star she left on him. She felt horrible for actually leaving a mark on him, but she did have a red heart shaped one around her nipple now, so it lessened her guilt. 

Clean and relaxed, they settled into bed. Each in a lush, fluffy robe provided by the hotel. Gwen smelled of a mix of honey, roses, and some sort of shea butter - all of her lavish facial cleansers and creams were very light and gentle smelling, just a hint when Nikolaj got close enough to steal a kiss. Nik, on the other hand, smelled of a generic men’s body wash and the hotel shampoo because he forgot his own… _Idiot._ But of course Gwen still adored it, it was perfectly Nik in the strangest way. 

“I tell you this all the time now,” Nik started. “But I love you and I think that you are gorgeous. I’m a very lucky man.” 

Gwen smiled, leaning into him and nuzzling her head under his chin. “You are a very lucky man.” 

He wrapped his arms tightly around her. “You’re very confident for someone who can’t take compliments.” He carefully rolled on top of her, getting himself nice and comfortable between her legs, his elbow planted on either side of her. 

She hummed in amusement. “You’ve got me there.” 

“You are gorgeous. Everything; from your eyes to your hair, from your breasts to your legs, your toned arms that could-”

Gwen silenced him with a kiss. “Thank you. Really. I know you think I’m beautiful, just as much as I think you’re handsome.” She kissed him again. 

_A small victory,_ he thought. _But she didn’t say that she believed me._ He could only hope that he would someday be able to shove away all her insecurities. Nik wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her tenderly. 

She grabbed his hand and brought his knuckles to her lips. “You really are handsome. You were turning heads left and right tonight.”

At first he only grinned and grabbed her hand, pressing a kiss to her palm. “Thank you. I thought so.” He kissed her wrist. “These hands, god you keep them so soft. Do you do that for me? So it feels good when you-”

Gwen covered his mouth with her hand, her brows furrowed, though a gentle smile tugged at her lips. “Stop talking.” She carefully pushed him back against the pillows. “You talk too much.” She snaked her arms around him, enveloping him in all the warmth and love she could muster, her head resting against his chest. _He really thinks he’s lucky to have me. What kind of mad idiot would think that he’s lucky to have me?_

Nikolaj fell silent and simply held her. Tucking a few strands of her hair behind her ear, he pressed a gentle kiss on top of her head. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was a little tense. They’d never told each other to shut up and actually meant it, Gwen didn’t mean it this time either, but it felt different… 

Nik looked down as he felt her shiver. Though watching for a moment, she wasn’t shivering, her shoulders were shaking. He shut his eyes tightly for a moment, pulling her tighter against him. He spoke softly when she shuddered again. “Gwen? Baby?”

She was crying. She didn’t know why she was crying. The emotion had overcome her and she couldn’t hold it in any longer. “I’m sorry.” She sputtered. “I’m okay.” Sitting up, she turned from him and wrapped her arms around herself.

She felt a warm hand settle in the middle of her back. “Gwen… What’s the matter?”

“I-I just love you so much.” She laughed, wiping her wet cheeks. “I’ve never cried because I loved someone so much. This is ridiculous. You were so worried about me tonight, and it was so sweet - even if you are still the biggest asshole in the world, my nipple still hurts.” 

He sat up beside her, tucking her hair behind her ear once again, then lifted her chin. “You’re crying because you love me?” He smiled, though behind it there was worry. 

Gwen closed her eyes, a new set of tears streaking down the path of those previous. She opened her mouth to speak but only a small sob escaped. She opened her eyes and they locked with his. 

“Don’t make me say it again.” She whispered. 

“You’re okay.” Nik grabbed her hand, placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles. “We’re okay. I love you too.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek next. "Did you want me to kiss it better?" 


	23. Just a While Longer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How could he say no?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies. This chapter was a challenge for whatever reason... so I do so hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> (We all know the drill at this point. I point out that it’s 4am and I’ll “fix it tomorrow” when we all know I won’t.)
> 
> Let me know what you think?

“Did you want me to kiss it better?” 

Gwen watched the corner of his lips tug up briefly in some small semblance of a smile. She knew that look in his eye though, he was worried that she was going to push him away. 

Her eyes flicked down to her loosely tied robe, to the glimpse of a red handprint under his robe, then to his eyes. “Only if I can kiss yours better too.” 

Nik smiled and placed a kiss at the corner of her mouth. Slowly, he pulled at the ties of her robe, until it hung open at her chest. He sat up against the wall and patted his thighs. “C’mere.” 

Gwen huffed out a little laugh, then carefully swung her leg over his. She settled in, sitting high on his thighs. Though she held the fabric around her closed with both her hands. 

Nik gingerly grabbed her wrist that was placed higher, bringing it to his lips. “I really could sit and watch you for hours.” He kissed her palm. “Run my hands across every inch of you.” He grabbed her other hand and did the same. 

She leaned in and captured his mouth. Lacing her delicate fingers through his wonderfully rough ones, she pulled them close against her chest. “I could sit and touch you for hours if I knew you wouldn’t get impatient.” She sighed against his mouth. 

As Nik opened his mouth to speak, Gwen took that as her moment to strike. She plunged her tongue into his mouth, indulging in what delighted her most -  _ tasting him.  _ Her tongue circled and swirled around his, almost teasingly. The lingering smell and taste of different alcohols, it was only heightening the thrill; it reminded her of their encounter earlier today. The bitterness on their tongues, the strange aroma of perfume, cologne, liquor, and a hint of generic soap. She wanted him and- 

_ Oh god, I should be taking my time. I wanted this to be sweet. Tender. Something less brutish and rough.  _ Gwen pulled away from him, the pang of guilt hitting her as she saw his face.  _ He truly could sit and do this for hours. He  _ wanted  _ to.  _

She looked down at their joined hands.  _ Keep yourself grounded. _ “I love you.” 

He beamed at her, lighting up the room with his smile. “I love you too.” 

She undid his robe, pulling it open and running his hands along his chest. She ducked her head and placed a kiss to the hollow of his throat. Another to his collarbone. One to his sternum. And finally, one to the pink handprint just above his nipple. 

“I’m sorry I hit you.” 

Nik couldn’t help but laugh. “No you’re not!” 

Gwen rolled her eyes and kissed the handprint again. “I’m sorry I hit you  _ hard. _ ” 

He grabbed her chin and pulled her up to his level. “I accept.” He kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry I ripped off your… thingy.” He chuckled. 

“You absolutely are not! That’s why I hit you.” She traced her fingertip around the mark, grinning. 

“Well at least yours is in the shape of a heart.” Nik mused. He pushed the robe off her shoulders, the fabric sliding down her arms and pooling at her elbows. He tried to suppress the groan that rose in the back of his throat, his hands instinctively going to her breasts. 

Gwen watched his eyes grow dark and lusty, the way they always did. She could never understand how he always had the same reaction, he never looked disappointed, he never looked like he didn’t want to just  _ ravish _ her. And they’ve been doing this for  _ years. _ But she couldn’t blame him, she always wanted to put her hands and mouth all over him, she just hid it well when she needed to - something Nik had yet to master. 

Her eyes slid from his intense gaze to his warm hands. His thumbs ran over her nipples, one after the other, watching them tighten and pebble underneath his touch. She arched into his hands, her chest rising and falling with her deep breaths. With a devilishly handsome smirk, he leaned forward and licked his lips. She shuddered and inhaled sharply as he blew a breath of cool air across her skin. Delighted by her reaction, he did it again before placing a light kiss to her breast. 

Gwen couldn’t help but giggle. “You’re an idiot.” She freed her arms from her sleeves, then grabbed his face in her hands and brought his lips back to hers. Her kiss was gentle and tender, but she let it linger. “But you’re mine. Now please, for the love of god, put your mouth back on me.” 

Nik kissed her. “Well I was about to before you so rudely interrupted.” He swiftly ducked back down and drew her nipple into his mouth. 

Nik sucked and nipped and licked at her skin until her breathing became uneven; her skin was splotchy and red from his coarse scruff scratching at her sensitive skin. All the while Gwen had occupied herself with rolling and undulating her hips against his, the only thing between them was his robe. 

They briefly pulled apart to dispose of their garments, the articles hitting the ground with soft  _ thuds _ one right after the other. Gwen returned to her spot in his lap, her hands immediately finding his enlarged cock, standing at attention for her. 

She drew her bottom lip between her teeth. “Enjoying ourselves, were we?” 

“Is that even a question?” He let out a short laugh, grabbing the back of her neck and pulling her mouth to his. His tongue explored her, as if it were the first time all over again; gently grazing the roof of her mouth, swirling and dancing around her tongue. She trapped his tongue between her teeth, only briefly, before releasing him. 

Slowly, scrupulously, Gwen raised herself up on her knees before taking him inside her. Little by little, watching his blissful face - eyes half-lidded and his lips parted - he looked beautiful… captivating.  _ Irresistible.  _ She hadn’t even realized she had fully sheathed him inside of her, she was far too lost in those blue eyes of his. 

“God,  _ Gwendoline… _ ” He sighed, nuzzling his nose into her shoulder. 

She raked her fingers through the hair at the back of his head. She relished in the feeling of being united again, not being in any sort of hurry, just here - together - was perfect. 

Languidly, she lifted herself up until only the tip of his cock remained in her. He brought his hands to her hips, though he didn’t rush to pull her back down, he simply let his fingertips wander. Her flesh was already hot to the touch, but his fingers left blazes of fire in their wake. 

Gwen sunk down, drawing a breathy moan from herself. Though it was short-lived as Nik pressed his mouth to hers, muffling the noise as much as he could manage. Together, they found their rhythm. It was languorous, sultry, and they couldn’t keep their mouths or hands to themselves. 

“You feel so  _ good inside me. _ ” She whined, resting her forehead against his. 

With her arms slung lazily over Nik’s shoulders, it gave her just enough leverage to thrust herself against him. Over and over she repeated the movement. Her movements weren’t rushed but they were hungry, desperate to find the release she so badly needed. Nik could only hold on to her as she drove herself to ecstasy. His fingers dragging across her toned back, her defined shoulders, her sinewy thighs, her firm ass. 

_ She’s magnificent. A goddess. Some ethereal being and of everyone she chose me. What a lucky bastard.  _ “You’re so-” He was cut off by a grunt that rose from his throat. “So good.” He groaned as she tilted her hips  _ just right. _

Gwen stilled. Her chest resting against his, the consistent rise and fall of it was interrupted by small shudders and spasms. 

He placed a tentative hand on her back. _Why on earth why is she crying? When did she even start?_ “Gwen, please don’t cry again. We don't have to keep going.” 

But she couldn’t hold it back any more, she threw her head back and laughed. A loud, throaty cackle that he was sure the neighbors could hear. “Y-You’re so good?!” She wheezed out. 

“What?” His brows furrowed. He could feel what little blood left in his upper half rushing straight to his cheeks. They were already searingly hot. How could it get any hotter in here? 

She pressed a firm kiss to his lips. “You’re so ridiculous sometimes, you know that right?” 

“I’m glad you find my attempts at sexy talk so amusing.” 

Gwen rolled her eyes, then to further prove a point, her hips. “Don’t be such a drama queen.” 

Nik couldn’t hold back the groan she pulled from him. He set his jaw and flipped them over without warning. She stared up at him with wide eyes, pupils blown, her lips parted. 

He grinned mischievously, making a show of washing over every inch of her with his penetrating gaze. “Now let’s not laugh.” He leaned down and kissed below her ear. “You  _ are _ so good. So sexy. So wet.” 

Gwen kept an unreadable expression, though somehow she blushed even now. 

“Such a good girl for me.” He ran his thumb across her lower lip. “Can you keep quiet for me?” She simply nodded. 

He responded by snapping his hips against hers, the quiet smack of his sweat-slick, sticky flesh sharp sounding. She gasped and pressed a firm hand against his back. 

He started off at a pace more expeditiously than Gwen’s, he knew neither of them would be lasting much longer. He carefully positioned one of her lengthy legs over his shoulder, tilting her hips back to hopefully reach that sweet spot deep within her. Driving into her again and again, he could only hope to hold out longer than her. 

Gwen’s breathy moans and gasps filled his head as she clung to him. She was desperate, she was desperately  _ close.  _ “P-Please, Nik. Just like that.” 

Latching his mouth to hers, and pinching sensitive nipple  _ almost  _ painfully, he buried himself to the hilt with a groan. Together they rode out the wave of their orgasms. Her cunt spasmed and clenched around his cock as he emptied himself deep within her, her whole body practically vibrating. 

Despite his limbs feeling heavy and instantly weaker, Nik slowly rocked with her. His cock throbbed and twitched inside her still. But he continued pressing possessive licks and nips up and down her jaw as Gwen calmed herself. 

She grabbed his face in her hand and kissed him greedily. She pulled away with a sly smile. “You’re so  _ good _ .” She huffed. 

Nik bit at her bottom lip, grinning. “You’re the fucking worst, you know that, right?” 

She hummed happily and stretched her arms up over her head. “I do know that, thank you for reminding me.” 

He pressed a soft kiss to each of her nipples, one now appearing much more red and angry than the other. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” 

“Of course not. But if you want to kiss it better, please, feel free.” She mused. 

“I just might.” He smiled, pressing another kiss to each one. He then started to pull away but she gripped his arm. “Where are you going?” 

“To get us cleaned up?” 

Gwen pulled him to her chest and cradled his head close, nuzzling her nose into his scruff. “Just a while longer. Please.” 

How could he say no? 


	24. Subtle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A moment of pause. “Oh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'll start by saying this wasn't my favorite. But it's leading up to something better, I hope. I kept trashing this chapter over and over, and somehow still came out with this. I promise something more interesting for the next chapter. 
> 
> Sorry, my lovelies. Tell me what you think?

The cast members that had come to the premiere decided on having a long brunch before going their own separate ways. It wasn’t until Nikolaj and Gwendoline were seated that they realized that they were among the last to arrive. And it was horrifyingly obvious that all eyes were on them. Though, of course, they weren’t being discreet anymore. Hands brushing against one another, walking shoulder to shoulder, he even kissed her cheek after they were seated. 

“Well I’ll be damned,” Isaac breathed, breaking the silence. “Peter said it was true.” 

Nik shot a glare to Peter. “You didn’t.” 

The shorter man snorted and shook his head. “I had a few drinks, I’ll admit. I let it slip that you two were  _ busy _ at one point.” 

Gwendoline felt blood rush to her cheeks, but she kept an easy and neutral face. 

Natalie leaned forward, her elbows on the table and her chin on her fists. “How long has this been going on?” She smirked. 

Even Nik began to turn a little pink.  _ God, her and that little smirk. She could get any little secret out of anyone. Think of something faster.  _ He shot a glance to Gwen, his eyes practically begging for help. She’d always been a better liar than him. 

“It must have been for quite a while,” Natalie continued. “You two have always been rather…  _ close _ .” 

There were a few quiet snickers and huffs of laughter from around the table. 

Maisie was quick to pipe up next. “I was under the impression we all knew? We did all share a floor in the hotels.” She covered her mouth with her hand to hide a girlish giggle. She nudged Sophie beside her, who was able to contain herself only marginally better. 

“Not like those walls were very thick.” She muttered into her glass, a grin creeping across her lips. 

Gwen shook her head, keeping her calm with a gentle smile. “Okay, okay. It’s been… some years since we started.” She was quick to continue before anyone could chime in. “It’s not my place to say what changed with Nikolaj’s relationship or when, but we’re here now and, well that’s that.” 

Conleth rested a hand on her shoulder. “We don’t need an explanation. These things happen all the time. And while it’s,” he searched for the right word. “Surprising, but also not at all, we’re all just glad that everyone’s happy. For now, at least.” He shrugged with an easy smile. 

Somehow those words had melted a small amount of Gwen’s worries. Nik wasn’t entirely convinced that  _ everyone  _ felt that way, but they all nodded in agreement and kept their significant others close. A certain weight had been lifted from their shoulders, even if they now knew that they were the worst secret keepers in the universe. 

_ Perhaps this isn’t the worst thing in the world _ , Nik thought.  _ These people are my friends, and I trust them to stay quiet on the matter. It’s not like any of them had grown close with Nukaaka -  _ that he knew of. 

Conversation had returned to the table, the quiet murmuring moved in a crescendo to the familiar chatter they’d grown to love. The laughter and joy was contagious, most everyone smiling and floating around the group to include each individual. 

Kit had migrated over to Nik and Gwen, plopping into a chair beside Nik. “So, how are you two going about this? Keeping it quiet? Posting publicly on social media?” 

Gwen’s eyes widened at the thought of openly exposing her relationship with Nik on  _ any  _ social media network. “No, god, we’re just going to - I don’t know - go to an event together. We’re not going to address it.” 

Kit nodded in understanding, clapping Nik gently on the shoulder. “If you do post things about each other, just don’t read the comments, trust me.” With that, he left and returned to his wife’s side. 

While it was strangely ominous, they knew he had a point. They’d always been careful when it came to reading comments, considering they very well knew there were people both  _ for  _ them and  _ against _ them. Even before they were fucking, people had been running their mouths about the chemistry between them -  _ I mean, clearly they were right and things worked out just great _ \- but that’s not the point. Social media was a hard thing to overcome when it came to relationships, people were cruel, harsh, judgmental, and even downright disgusting when it came to their opinions. 

_ It doesn’t matter, _ he thought as Gwen placed her hand on his knee.  _ People can think whatever they want.  _ He watched her smile blossom, her eyes squinting in the cute way they usually do.  _ As long as I have her.  _ He could vaguely hear Gwen’s conversation with Alfie and Liam turn to playful bickering. Her hand went to her chest as she threw her head back with laughter, the infamous cackle echoing through the bustling restaurant.  _ I can’t wait to get her back to the hotel and- _

_ Whack! _ A foot to the middle of Nikolaj’s shin made him jump. His head snapped to face forward, his eyes locking onto Peter’s. “What was that for?” 

He couldn’t hide the grin tugging at his lips. “You are a sad, sad puppy, Nikolaj.” 

Beside him, Daniel nodded in agreement. “It’s a bit embarrassing. I can see why you two liked filming together.” 

Peter’s eyes flicked to Gwen, then back to Nik. “You think she notices when you do that? It’s not quite  _ subtle _ , dear brother.” 

Nik could only smile. “I don’t think she’d mind.” 

Brunch had passed by too slowly, especially when they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. It started with a hand on the knee, rubbing the shoulder, or playing with each other’s hands. Next came the feather light grazes of the fingertips across the back of the hand, the wrist, trailing up the thigh. Then it was the firm, demanding grasps of the thighs and arms, keeping their bodies touching at all times. 

The company of their co-stars were none the wiser, or if they were, no one had bothered to make any more teasing comments. But they’d clearly all noticed when the two giants had nearly ran out the door to catch a ride back to the hotel. Gwendoline had nearly felt bad for the show they had given the driver, but not nearly bad enough to keep her wandering hands off of Nikolaj. 

Nik’s fingers crept to the hem of her shirt, but she was quick to smack them away. “No.” She hissed at him, keeping her voice quiet. “You don’t get to touch.” 

His eyes grew wide for but a moment before narrowing at her. “Oh is that right?” He brushed his fingertip along the exposed skin of her abdomen. 

Gwen, much more calmly this time, grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away. She pressed a tender kiss to his cheek. Her voice came out low, husky, like she’d practiced it time and time again. “If you want to cum at all, you’re going to keep your hands to yourself until I say so.” 

_ She has no idea the effect she has on you.  _ He looked from their hands to her face as she pulled away. Her eyes were dark and piercing as they skimmed over his body, carefully calculating every little thing she was going to do to him.  _ Oh yes, she does.  _

She drew her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes capturing his. Her delicate fingers snaked up his thigh, tracing unusual and twisted paths along his inner thigh. 

Nik happily spread his knees to give her easier access to her eventual destination. His hands flexing and relaxing at his sides.  _ Fuck, I hate the no touching rule,  _ he whined in his head. He already felt the familiar stirring in his pants. There’s no way he could ever resist Gwen. Even when they were cross with each other, he popped angry boners. She was always so  _ fucking enticing.  _

She quickly drew her hand away and exited the car. Nik, taken aback, hadn’t even realized the vehicle had stopped. He was too occupied trying to focus on the feel of her hands on him. He followed suit behind her, shedding his jacket and holding it casually in front of him. 

_ Please god, don’t let anyone see me with a half-assed hard on. That’s the last thing I need right now.  _ Together, they moved swiftly through the lobby and into the elevator, and down the hall after the doors opened. They somehow kept their hands off of each other long enough to rummage for their room keys. Gwen triumphantly held up the key card. 

Before she was able to swipe it and shove her way inside, someone clearing their throat caught their attention. In almost perfect unison, they hesitantly turned, their cheeks flushed and bodies unnoticeably tense. 

Giles stood just a few feet away. His bags already packed, his hands folded in front of him. “I’m glad I caught you two before I left, I almost thought we’d have to do this over the phone.” 

Gwen’s shoulders eased and her brows furrowed. “What’s going on? I thought we weren’t leaving for another week?” 

“I’m headed back today, I have a new project to work on. And I figured I might give you two some… time.” He shrugged. 

A moment of pause. “Oh.” She gave a curt nod. “Alright then.” 

Giles checked the time on his watch before looking back at them. “But before I do, we need to talk.” 


	25. Better Than I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh I know I can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well lovelies, I'm afraid I lied about the steamy bits being in this chapter... But I've already started writing the next chapter! It should be out within the next couple days. *fingers crossed* 
> 
> In the meantime, let me know what you think!

Both Nikolaj and Gwendoline started walking towards Giles’ room. He simply held out a hand to Gwen, giving Nik a pointed look. “Alone, if that’s alright.” 

Nik glanced between the two of them, then gave a slight nod. He found his card key and let himself in wordlessly. He felt the need to bite back a comment. _Why?_ _Gwen and Giles had been together before you even met her. You’ve no need to feel jealous. She willingly chose to be with you, y’know. And she’s choosing to be with you, still, now_ instead _of him. You’re a lucky bastard. Should we feel bad for Giles? Yes. No. Maybe…_

Gwen had taken Giles’ hand and followed him into his room. “Should I be sitting down for this? 

Giles pulled his suitcase back inside, letting the door close behind them. His brows furrowed for a moment. “I don’t think so. We would have had this conversation back home, regardless. This only gives you more time to think.” 

They both took a seat at the foot of the bed. _God, this is oddly tense,_ Gwen thought. It hadn’t been this way since they discussed an open relationship the very first time. She still wasn’t even over the thought of not being together with him anymore… How had she acted so at ease when she was with Nikolaj today? Giles had hardly even crossed her mind. 

“Well, we had very briefly discussed separating for good reason, you and Nik are about to start a whole new… portion of your life. But we hadn’t discussed the living situation.” 

“Oh…” She sighed softly in relief. “That’s what you were so worried about? Giles, if you want to move out-” 

He interjected. “I want the flat.” 

_Oh._ She let the silence hang between them for a moment, thinking, before nodding. “It was yours to begin with. I suppose I couldn’t possibly ask to keep it.” She nodded again, more surely this time. “Nikolaj would want to pick out a new place, I’m sure.” 

Giles smiled sadly at her. “If you’d really like that old place, it’s yours. I couldn’t tell you no.” 

She huffed out a laugh. “Yes, you could. You’d just be far too nice about it, I’d want to give it back. No, this will be good. I haven’t been house hunting before.”

“There’s a first time for everything. Just make sure it has a nice room for a nursery.” 

She feigned a vomiting noise. “How cliche of you. _There’s a first time for everything._ Ugh.” She nudged him with her shoulder, smiling. “What about you and Jonathan. You think he’ll move in?” 

“Not for quite some time, but eventually.” He shrugged. “Maybe.” A moment of pause. “Do you really think you two are going to have a baby?” 

Gwen pursed her lips, not particularly in an angry manner. “I don’t know. I still need to discuss with my doctors when we, well… I get back home. If it happens it happens.” 

He mocked her vomiting noise. “ _How cliche of you.”_

She leaned into him, rolling her eyes with a gentle smile. “Shut up.” 

_Now I have to pack all my things. What if he wants to keep the dresses he made? If he keeps something I want I can at least borrow it, right? Will he make me pack alone? Will Nik want to help? I don’t think I want him to… everything in that house is so personal._ You fucked him on your bed- no, _Giles’_ bed, that he shared with you. _We’re horrible, you know that, right?_ Remember when his mother caught you? _I try to forget._

Giles’ voice pulled her from her thoughts. “Gwen?” 

She shook herself a little and sat up straight. “Apologies, just a little lost in thought. I’ll start packing as soon as I get back home.” 

He nodded. “I’ll be there. If you need help, I’ll help.” 

She pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”

“Can you send Nik in?” 

She couldn’t hold back the laugh that bubbled up so abruptly at the absurdity she conjured in her brain. “Yeah, of course.” 

“Thank you.” 

With that, she crossed the hall to her room she shared with Nikolaj. “Nik, honey, apparently-” She looked up from where she was discarding her shoes, seeing Nik sprawled out before her… entirely naked. “What are you doing?” 

With one hand lazily stroking his red, angry cock, it was evident that her brief time away proved to be agonizing for him. “What does it look like I’m doing?” 

Gwen grinned mischievously and crawled up to him. She planted hot kisses to his thighs, snaking higher and higher. Her blue eyes met with his for just a moment before she licked him. A long, slow, wet swipe of her tongue along the bottom of his length. 

Nik shut his eyes and groaned out her name, his voice strained and breathy. 

She took the tip of his cock in her mouth and swirled her tongue around it expertly. She hollowed her cheek and sucked on him before releasing it with a satisfying _pop._

“Nik, darling.” She made her way up to him. 

He hummed in response, grabbing her cheeks and kissing her passionately. She was compliant and kissed him again, then pulled away. “Nik,” She chuckled. “Giles wants to talk to you.” 

She felt his body deflate and sag. His head fell back against the pillow as he audibly sighed. “Is now really the best time?” 

“He’s leaving soon, Nik. He wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.” 

He sighed again. “Okay, okay. But I want you naked,” He pulled her close. “And ready for me.” He kissed her roughly. “When I get back.” 

She laughed breathlessly. “Yes, sir.” She pulled him in and kissed him, biting at his lip as she pulled away. 

“Are you sure we can’t just do this really quick?” He groaned.

“Is that how you want this to go? _Really quick._ ” She raised a brow. 

He slowly trailed a finger down her side. “No…” 

“The faster you leave, the faster you can get back.” She planted a chaste kiss on his lips. “Now go.” 

He whined in protest but proceeded to get up anyway, throwing on the clothes he was wearing previously. Awkwardly, and a bit painfully, he contained his erection inside his jeans. Luckily, they weren’t as tight as the ones he normally sports. _God, I hope this isn’t as obvious as it feels._

He stood in front of the full length mirror mounted on the wall, and only then did he realize what he was missing behind him. Gwen was putting on a show - and he was _missing it_ \- though she hadn’t gotten far. 

She locked eyes with him in the mirror as she dropped her shirt to the floor. Without a second thought, he rushed to her, encircling her in his arms and burying his face right between her breasts. He immediately began peppering her skin in soft kisses and licks. 

She squealed and held him to her. “Nik! You have to go.” 

“Mm, no.” He hummed against her skin.

“Please? Pretty please?” She gently pried his face away. “For me?” 

He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. “Okay. Only for you.” He ruefully removed himself from the bed and sulked out of the room. Barefoot and uncomfortable, he knocked on the door across the hall. 

Giles let Nik inside, making their greetings simple nods of acknowledgment. Nik sat in the same spinny office chair as he had when he had his first talk with the odd couple the day prior. Before he could even lean back and get comfortable, there was a glass filled with an amber liquid offered to him. With another nod, Nik took it and held it in his lap. 

Giles got situated on his bed once again, a glass to match Nikolaj’s held firmly in his hand. “I know you don’t want to be here, and I don’t want to keep you any longer than necessary.” He sighed. “I don’t even know why I thought this needed to be said.” He gave Nik the briefest up and down glance. “I know you can keep Gwendoline far happier than I can, at least now. We had our good days in the beginning, when it was new and exciting-”

“Oh I know I can.” Nik spoke up, a confident and almost cocky grin on his face. 

“Come now, I know I’m no competition at this point. She’s not the same person I had met all those years ago, you probably know her better than I do. Just…” He sighed into his glass, taking a long swig of the sharp liquid. “Just keep her happy. She likes silence from time to time. Sometimes you’ll be woken up by Madonna’s album nearly rattling the walls. She can’t cook, just smile and tell her she did her best - always order her pasta after she tastes the cooking for herself.” 

Nik’s cocky smile had faded, and was replaced with something more genuine. Gwen and Giles did have a good run. He could understand why it was going to be so hard for her to let him go, Giles knew her almost as well as he knew himself. 

The grey-haired man continued. “She says she doesn’t like sweets but I knew she snuck them in the middle of the night. She needs her privacy, that’s very important. Keep your private lives private, you two can decide together what’s okay to share. She’s very willing to try new things, hesitant as she may be. I know soon enough she’ll be running around on glaciers if that’s what you want.” He gave a short laugh. The sad smile that followed was hard to miss, his head swimming with nearly a decade of memories, of stories to tell and things he’d miss. 

Nik watched his face quietly. For having such a jealousy driven relationship this man, he almost wanted to comfort him. Gwendoline was a hard loss to take, he knew that. 

“Take good care of her, Nikolaj. I know it shouldn’t be hard for you. She’s insufferable on the rare occasion, but you know how rewarding it is being with her. I have no doubts that you two will live a good life.” 

Nik offered a small smile. “I promise I’ll do everything in my power to keep her safe, well-cared for, and above all things, happy - or at least content.” 

The men shared a short laugh, the first real pleasant moment they’ve had. Nikolaj knew it probably wouldn’t be the last, there was no way Gwen was getting rid of this man. Whether that’s a good or bad thing, he hadn’t yet decided. But what he did know, was that there was a naked woman waiting for him right across the hall and he had to get back to her at the speed of light because _god, he couldn’t take sitting in these jeans anymore_. 

Nik cleared his throat. “Well, Giles, thank you for your words of wisdom,” he raised his glass. “And the drink. But I should really get back to keeping that promise. I have a very impatient woman waiting for me.” He downed his drink. And before Giles could say a word, Nik darted out the door, across the hall - only fumbling with his card key for a short moment - then barged into the room. 

He tore his shirt off over his head and flung it across the room, hardly able to hear it over the ringing in his ears. He then shucked off his pants and practically flung himself into bed where a very, very eager Gwendoline was waiting for him.


	26. Your Turn or Mine?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "That minx had this custom made."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, lovelies, it's been some time and for that I apologize. I trashed this chapter quite a few times and in the end, I'm still not the happiest with it. But regardless of what I think, I hope you so thoroughly enjoy it because I've made you wait long enough. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> (All mistakes will be fixed within a day or two.)

As soon as Nikolaj had barged through the door, he started thinking with his dick and what little courage a glass of whiskey could supply. He stripped off his clothes and flung himself onto the bed, effectively landing on top of Gwen - all knees and elbows - with his face planted right against her stomach. 

She’d already been entirely naked when he walked in, nothing but one of his ties and a small bundle of black rope. He didn’t remember originally seeing that in her bag, so he was quite curious where she had that hidden. 

“Oh good lord.” She laughed, hard and loud, her head thrown back. 

A very muffled, “I’m sorry” came from against her skin. 

“Just get your elbow out of my thigh,” she nudged him forcefully enough to get the offending appendage off of her. “Now come up here.” 

Nik forced himself up and crawled up to be face to face with her. “God you’re so gorgeous.” 

She smiled and stroked his cheek. “What did you and Giles talk about?” 

He raised a brow. “Is that _really_ what you want to talk about?”

“No.” She giggled girlishly and kissed him, it was soft and almost giddy. She held up his black tie in front of herself, “Now, your turn or mine?” 

He huffed a little laugh. “I believe it’s yours, Miss Christie."

“God, I hope our neighbors aren’t anyone we know.” She tried to gracefully sit up beside him but it ended up as more of a heave. 

He smiled and sat up as well. “We can only hope.” He pressed a chaste kiss to her lips, taking the tie delicately from her hands. 

Carefully, yet firmly, he tied the cloth across her eyes while being cautious not to get any of her hair caught in the knot. She smiled pleasantly and stayed still long enough for him to finish this task. But as soon as he was done, she produced the rope from beside her. 

“Please.” She spoke quietly, _as if he could say no._

He kissed her cheek softly. “I love you so much.” 

She shuddered in response and sighed, her warm breath dancing across his face. “I love you too.” 

He plucked the rope from her grasp and examined it. Clearly new, though she must have been playing with it because the knot keeping it together was a little unpracticed. Black and silky, it had small bands of blue and red, with a hint of gold running through it. _That minx had this custom made._

“When did you get this?” When he got nothing but a cheeky grin in response, he continued. “I quite like it. Maybe I’ll pick something out next time.” 

He unwound the rope, letting the loose ends brush across her thighs. She sucked in a quiet breath, small goosebumps raising across her arms and legs. Slowly, he pushed himself up on his knees, being sure to keep Gwen steady as he did so. He grabbed her hand and ran the soft silk between her fingers, snaking it up her arms and across her broad shoulders. He tried to watch her face as often as he could, waiting for the little gasps of excitement or smiles pulled from her lips. 

Gwen was obedient in staying still, though she couldn’t entangling her fingers in it as he trailed it along her skin. She was enthralled by the anticipation, letting him take his time to tease her. _God I just want his mouth all over me though. I want his fingers and his tongue inside me. I don’t want to be patient while he has his fun - not that this isn’t absolutely tantalizing for me, as well. I wouldn’t be this patient if I were him, he would already be tied up and half-spent. I’d be a panting mess over top of him with one finger-_

“Is that okay?” She felt his fingers still, both were occupied with the ropes still. His breath was close, tickling the back of her neck.

She took a short moment to calm herself. “Is what okay?” 

“The tightness.” A kiss was planted on her shoulder. “No pulling or pinching anywhere?” He ran a single fingertip over her arm - that was now bound to her side - to her breast. 

She knew he’d go for a harness, it was a favorite of his. Her forearms folded behind her and tied together, as well as to her torso. Her hands were always free, though they didn’t ever have much to hang on to. The ropes crossed her chest, under and over her breasts, over her shoulders, and kept her arms at her sides. A man of routine. The knots were delicate and precise, and he never skipped out on something to grip on both the front and back so he’d be in control. 

Gwen hummed and shook her head. “It feels good.” She arched into his touch as he circled her nipple. “The ropes, too.” 

Nik huffed a laugh before kissing her shoulder again. “Good.” 

She pouted as both his hands left her skin. Luckily, the moment of disappointment didn’t last long. Nikolaj kept his hand behind her head to help ease her back into the plush pillows. He snaked his fingertips up across her cheekbone, then down the bridge of her nose to her lips. 

“You’re so gorgeous.” 

“So are you. My silver fox.” 

“Not your golden lion?” He mused. “Have I gone that grey?” 

Gwen smiled. “You’re both.” 

“I prefer the lion.” 

“Oh I know you do.” She grinned. Attempting to plant a kiss somewhere on his face, she leaned in and aimed blindly, knowing how close he was. But he was quick to avoid her and began his assault down her body. 

He wasted no time pressing hot, open mouth kisses down her neck. Leaving no skin untouched, he truly took his time with her; listening to every small gasp, watching goosebumps trail after his fingertips, feeling her body tense and relax under his firm grasps. She was intoxicating. She was horribly addictive. He licked and nipped his way down the long expanse of her torso, her gasps had turned to impatient whines. 

Nikolaj slowed his movements, sprawling out on his stomach between her legs and draping them over his shoulders. He wouldn’t be able to stay like that for very long, his cock practically screaming at him to just get it over with. _And pass up the opportunity to taste her? Absolutely not. Though it wouldn’t hurt to pick up the pace._ And without a second thought, he cupped her sinewy thighs in his hands and buried his mouth against her cunt. 

Gwen cried out, but quickly silenced herself as she drew her bottom lip between her teeth. But she didn’t let him go without encouragement, so she figured perhaps her heels digging into his back would suffice. 

He seemed to understand, considering he began feasting on her like a starving man. God, what this woman did to him. His cock was undoubtedly angry and leaking, just fucking _aching_ to find release. He groaned and hummed against her while his tongue probed as deep as he could manage, his nose buried firmly against her clit. The vibrations moved through her, causing her hips to buck against his face. 

He placed a kiss against the soft skin of her thigh, letting out a low and bassy laugh. “Easy.” 

“Fuck, don’t stop.” 

“Tsk, so demanding.” He grinned. Using a single digit, he traced along her slit, keeping a firm grip on her thigh with his free hand.

Ghosting his lips across her sensitive skin again and again, he could feel her breath growing ragged. She tried shifting closer but he only held her tighter, now pressing his hand into her hip. He nipped and sucked small bruises into her thighs, one on her outer lip - all while tracing slow and lazy circles around her cunt with his finger. 

“O-Oh god, Nik. _Please.”_ Gwendoline whined. “ _Please, please, please._ No more teasing, I need you. I need you inside me _right now.”_

His eyes widened, _normally she doesn’t beg this early in._ “As my lady wishes.” 

He trailed sloppy kisses up the length of her body, sparing a short moment to draw her nipple into his mouth harshly. She writhed and squirmed under him, soft whines being pulled from her. Sitting back on his heels and finally taking his engorged cock in his hand and stroking it firmly, he couldn’t hold back the quiet groan that rose in his throat. _God, please don’t embarrass yourself, Nikolaj._ Inch by inch, he sunk into her wet heat. 

Nik let out a low groan and grinned down at Gwen. She looked so perfect all tied up, her skin splotchy and red, his fingerprints bruised into her thighs, her lips parted with her chin tipped up towards the ceiling. He hated blindfolding her, not being able to see her sky blue eyes bore into his while he brought her to the edge. He was thankful for the blindfold this time around, it made admiring her body easier - considering she’d swat at him when he stared at her breasts for ‘too long.’ _No such thing._

He pulled out almost all the way before slamming back into her roughly. Gwen cried out in response, a high pitched moan that made his cock twitch. He then moved unhurriedly, propping his elbows on either side of her and ghosting his lips over hers. 

“You remember our safe word, don’t you?” Nik pulled out nearly all the way again before sinking in slowly, getting comfortable between her thighs. 

“O-Of course.” She rasped. 

“Good.” 

Nikolaj grabbed ahold of the knot he’d deliberately tied across the front of her chest, between her breasts, and gripped it tightly in his right hand. He began thrusting feverishly, skin slapping against skin, his grunts drowned out by her deep moans. 

Gwendoline was quick to trap him within her grasp, her legs locked like a vice around his body. “Jesus - Fuck, Nik!” 

With his left hand grasping the headboard in a white-knuckled grip, Nik used the leverage to drive into her. Everything in the room was becoming overwhelming; the thick, musky scent of arousal and whatever perfumes they both wore still lingering in the air; the quiet creaking of the bed, the wet squelches from Gwen’s soaked cunt and the consistent slapping of his thighs against hers; the room was blisteringly hot. His head was swimming, a cloudy haze that hung heavily over him. 

_Ground yourself._

He ravished her mouth, sliding his tongue past her gently bruised lips from previous endeavors. Their tongues swirling and dancing with one another almost sweetly, as though he wasn’t mercilessly pumping into her like a ravenous teen. He could feel Gwen curling in on herself, the coil inside tightening and begging for release. Her toes curled as her heels dug painfully into his back. Her back arched as he yanked harshly against the ropes, her mouth agape. Each of her heaving breaths came out as a whimper, growing louder and louder upon each thrust until… 

_Silence._

Nikolaj buried himself to the hilt, his movements still entirely. His secure clutch on the headboard only consolidated as Gwen’s pussy pulsed and clutched at his cock, her legs twitched and shook against him. 

The room suddenly sprung to life again as she inhaled, a gasping wheeze as her body trembled still. “F-Fucking christ, don’t stop!” 

_Oh._ Nik had quickly jumped back into action, thrusting as though he didn’t stop. He fucked her through the rest of her orgasm, letting her ride the blissful waves. But of course, with her pulsating around him like that, a man could only last so long. A few pumps later and he emptied himself deep inside her with a satiated groan. 

Releasing the headboard, he flexed his hand once or twice to regain the feeling in his fingers before gently tugging off the blindfold. At first, Gwen flinched at the bright light of the bedside lamp, but quickly focused in on Nikolaj, her blue eyes locked onto his. 

A playful grin struck across her face. “Did I say you could stop?” 

He raised an amused brow and looked down at the handful of harness he still had in his grasp. “Who’s the one in charge here?” 

She gave a knowing look that clearly screamed out ‘ _me.’_ Of course. But who could ever tell that sweet little well-fucked look of pure delight no? He lowered himself to his elbows once again and rocked with her slowly. 

They moved together lazily, their kisses calmer and more controlled. After Gwen _so graciously_ let Nik stop, they moved together to get seated upright. Nik wrapped one around her and began removing the ropes, being cautious to take his time, to make the process of removing just as sensual as the process of binding. 

He dropped kisses to her neck, to her shoulders and back, along the soft indents the ropes left behind. After the rope was discarded to the side he laid with her, her body snugly tucked against his. From the head on his shoulder to their legs that were intertwined above the blanket, they were touching. 

Nikolaj closed his eyes, the light feeling of the afterglow still bathing him in warmth and euphoria. “Do you need anything?” 

Gwen hummed tiredly in response, the faintest ‘no’ slipping from her lips. 

“Are you sure?” 

She rolled her eyes, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Just shut up.” And with that, she silenced him with a kiss.


	27. Think Me Foolish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re going to think me foolish.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My lovelies, I come bearing a gift. It's a chatty chapter that I hope isn't too horribly boring. I promise some more enticing things coming soon. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

They had spent a week in New York before finally returning to London. Gwendoline had been riding high on life while still in the states just simply being in Nik’s company more freely. She showed him her favorite coffee shops, a rooftop restaurant with a view to die for, a hidden away fashion shop (that didn’t interest him in the slightest), and even took him for a long walk through Central Park - he had somehow goaded her into agreeing to a rowboat ride. It was a truly laughable moment to behold, two giants in a tiny rowboat, neither of them understanding how the rowing works. They’d narrowly avoided running into several other rowers, Nik almost lost an oar to the murky green water, and the two of them nearly tipped over the boat countless times. 

While Gwendoline couldn’t resist the outrageous smiles that Nikolaj pulled from her, she felt a constant nagging at the back of her brain. _You never did such wonderful things with Giles. You would never be able to spend such...joyful days with him. His ideas of fun are going shopping for new rolls of fabric or getting take out from our favorite restaurant and watching a movie._ It was fun… but it wasn’t this kind of fun. Nikolaj has a more childish side that Gwen had let go dormant, she had grown accustomed to lackluster days of window shopping and going through the same motions over and over again. 

But their time running around New York, playing and fucking like teenagers - including their quickie in the airplane bathroom stall - had come and gone more quickly than either would have liked. Before they knew it, they were standing at the front steps of Giles’ - not Gwen’s flat - their suitcases in tow. Gwen felt her body growing stiff, unable to lift her hand to open the door. She had the key, but now she felt unwelcome, this wasn’t hers anymore. She betrayed him by sleeping with Nik in their home when it was still _their_ home. _He’s done the same with Jonathan._ Stop feeling guilty about that. _At least your mother didn’t catch them together._

“Gwen…?” The small voice came from behind her. 

She blinked away the haze of her thoughts. She rapped on the door quickly, _we can’t keep standing out here, we’ll be seen._ She waited, listening for Giles’ footsteps, but they didn’t come. _Would it be better if he weren’t here? To pack up my things without him?_ Sighing, she rooted through her purse, found the key, and let them inside. She left her suitcase inside the entry hall and dropped her purse beside it. 

“Giles, darling, we’re here!” She called out. 

Nikolaj trailed quietly behind her, his hands shoved awkwardly in his pockets. _Couldn’t we have waited a day? Does she need to leave this place so urgently?_ He followed behind her as she walked through her home, grabbing small knick-knacks that must have been hers. 

He grabbed her elbow. “Gwendoline. Why are you trying to get out of here so quickly? You haven’t even found a new place.” 

She looked back at him with her brows furrowed and her eyes starting to burn red with tears. “What do you mean _I?_ I thought we discussed finding something together.” 

Nik gently grabbed her hand. “ _We_ haven’t found a new place. I’m sure Giles isn’t in a hurry to get you out of here. We can take our time.” He pressed his lips to her knuckles. 

She sighed quietly and nodded. “It just feels wrong having all my belongings here now.” 

“I understand, I still need to get all my things from Denmark. Maybe this is something we can do together. But first, we need to find somewhere to start new. I meant it, I want to start new with you.” 

Gwen gave a quick nod. “I want that, I do. I want you.” She planted her lips against his, her hand immediately coming up to cup the back of his head. 

Down the hall, someone cleared their throat. Slowly, Gwen pulled away and looked over. Giles stood there, a small smile across his lips, his arms full of grocery bags. “I wasn’t expecting you two until tomorrow.” 

She smiled, albeit a bit sadly, and hurried over to him. Trapping him in her arms, she rocked rhythmically from side to side on her feet. “I didn’t want to wait.” A beat. “And I needed more clothes.” 

They shared a short laugh. With Giles unable to reciprocate her hug, he simply kissed her cheek. “Well I’m glad you’re here. Mind helping me with these before you leave?” 

“Oh, of course.” She took an armful from him and followed him to their kitchen. “I might be staying, if that’s alright. Nikolaj is leaving for Denmark tonight and I... didn't think about where I would stay.” 

“I’d love for you to stay, Gwen, you know you’re always welcome.” 

“I know, Giles. But I…” She trailed off, pulling the contents out and setting them on the counter.

His arms enveloped her in his arms from behind, his cheek pressed into her shoulder. “I mean it. Always. You know that with everything happening, I still want you here, I want to have tea and gossip, I want us to order in and watch movies.” _Like we did before._ “I want you to lead a life of your own with him. If that excludes me, of course I’d be upset but that’s your choosing. If that includes me still, I’ll happily accept the company. Perhaps even a double date is in order with those two idiot boys.” 

Gwen hummed in agreement and smiled, craning her neck to kiss the top of his head. “I do want that. I’m hoping we’ll find someplace close to here.” She rubbed his arms that were still wrapped around her. “Do you want me to make up the guest room for myself?” 

“Nonsense, you can stay in our bed. Unless pretty boy will get jealous.” He released her from his grasp as said pretty boy entered the kitchen. He kept a smile on his lips as he started putting away the groceries. 

Gwen smiled gently. “Nik, darling, when do you have to be at the airport?” 

“Not until 6.” Nik leaned against the counter, watching the two of them leisurely bop and weave around each other in the most domestic fashion, each of them passing off things wordlessly. _I hope to live like this with her. I want to do such mundane things wordlessly and understand what needs to get done. Don’t be jealous, she is your future._ “Maybe we can do dinner before I leave?” 

She nodded quickly. “Of course.” 

Together, they ordered from one of Gwen and Giles’ favorite restaurants. They then proceeded to sit around the dining room table and look for homes around the area that seemed like suitable options, all while eating Thai food. Gwendoline seemed more drawn to the idea of flats like she and Giles had in the city… while Nikolaj was more drawn to houses out in the middle of fucking nowhere. He came hard and fast with the idea of square footage for a child - or _children_ , as he insisted - to run around. 

Being quite overwhelmed by the idea of planning their home around children, Gwen then took to packing up simple, small things, as well as her ostentatious gowns that she’d most likely never wear again. Giles quietly chastised her on how to properly fold and put away such garments, considering he made a handful of them. Nikolaj simply stared at the large, messy walk-in closet that was filled to the brim with different articles of clothing, half of which he’s never seen Gwen in. 

Giles left to go obtain more boxes of an appropriate size for all the things Gwen ‘ _needed’_ to bring, even though he insisted they would stay safe with him. This left the lovers alone once again. 

Nik was distracted early in with some strange gifts that Gwen had received from fans, some of them were quite interesting and fun. Some well drawn art left him quite speechless, he wished they would do ones of him in such a flattering way. Others, he could imagine her being absolutely mortified to bring back to her home. Why she kept them, he’d never know. 

“Oh no…” Gwen whined. 

He looked over his shoulder. “What?” 

She sat on the large bed, her head hung low and her back to him. “You’re going to think me foolish.” 

“Well, we’re both a little foolish from time to time.” He sat beside her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “What is it?” 

She simply glanced up at him, then back down at the item in her lap. It was a small drawer taken from her dresser, filled with brightly colored socks. _Perhaps it’s something within it? Something they keep hidden._

He glanced from the drawer to her face, then back multiple times over, waiting for an answer. “I’m confused.” 

“Just… these.” She gestured with her hand. 

He blinked at her. “Gwendoline, they’re just socks.” 

“I knowwww.” She whined. “But they hold a weird place in my heart! It’s been a running joke with us for the past… nearly decade of my life. I couldn’t even tell you who bought which pair.” 

“I do think you’re foolish for being upset over splitting custody of… _socks._ ” 

Her head snapped to him and her furrowed brows shot halfway up her forehead. “I never said they were important to _you.”_ She shrugged his hand off of her shoulder. “I hope you find something that’s important to you that you can’t _stand_ to part with, and you show it to me lovingly, just so I can tell you that it’s stupid.” She stood and put the drawer back in its proper place. 

_You’ve got to be kidding me._ “I didn’t say it was stupid.” 

“It’s what you implied. And now I’m implying that it’s time for you to catch your plane.” She tapped her empty wrist. 

“Gwen.” 

“I’ll call a cab.” She said as she disappeared down the hallway. 

Nik pushed himself up, wove around the boxes and gowns littering the floor, and trailed down the hallway after her. “Please don’t be angry.” 

“I’m not angry.” She shrugged. 

“You are.” 

“I’m just frustrated, Nik, I know it sounds silly. But at least… try to understand. It’s something we’ve been sharing for many years.”

“I do understand that they’re important to you.” 

She smiled softly. “No, you don’t. But that’s okay.” She turned and called for a cab to pick them up. 

Gwen went with him to the airport, leaving him with a passionate kiss that certainly gave the driver a bit of a show. She tried to keep the tears at bay, she was still frustrated with him and his inability to understand sometimes. She hated goodbyes, she always had. She tried to be quiet and make it brief. 

“Text me when you land, okay?” She stroked his cheek with her thumb. 

He nodded quickly in agreement. “I will. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” She gave him another chaste kiss, then watched him leave. She was still angry, she knew if she tried to poke fun at him he'd turn into the biggest diva in the world, making a fuss over why it held such sentimental value. 

She returned to Giles and took great comfort in his arms once again. They said nothing as they embraced for a long while, just gently rocking from side to side.

"Gwendoline, something is bothering you. Out with it." He coaxed her to the couch, tossing one of the many decorative pillows in her lap before handing her a pint of ice cream. 

"It's nothing." She shook her head. "I just don't like seeing him go." 

He raised a brow. "No, that's not it. You've seen him leave dozens of times and it's always ended in tears." He sat beside her and popped open the lid, taking a small scoop from the top. "You don't like the fact that he's caught up on babies." 

"Well, yes, there's that. He's just," she sighed. "He's an asshole, but I love him. He can't get it through his thick skull that I have the capacity to care about things." 

"What'd he say this time?" He mused. 

She stole a glance at him before returning her gaze to the ice cream in her lap. "He told me I was foolish for being emotional over splitting our sock collection." She took a small scoop and brought it up to her lips. 

Giles couldn't help but let out a short lived laugh. "You were?" 

"No." She shot back quickly. 

"You were! Oh, I was worried it would come down to those. We'll do it tomorrow, make light of the situation." He waved his spoon dismissively. "From now on I'll just have to buy us matching pairs so it feels like you're still stealing them." 

She scoffed, grinning. "You think I'm being stupid too." 

"Of course not, I got emotional thinking about parting with those handbags you love so much." He took another spoonful and popped it in his mouth. "Now, as for the house, just be stern with him like you always are. Compromise on something smaller but with a big yard for the little demon to run around in. Find something bigger in the city that has a park nearby. Maybe think of getting a dog instead if a baby worries you so much?" He smiled. "You're a smart girl, Gwen, I know you'll figure something out."

"Do you think I'm too hard on him?" 

"No, I think that's part of why he loves you. But I do worry that you're... trying to keep things as they were, before, when he was still married. He's your future now, treat him like it." 

Her pale brows furrowed. "I worry about that too. I just want to keep the fun going a little longer before things get serious." 

"Remember when we used to do fun things like that?" A moment of pause, a smile breaking out on his face. "You insisted on ice skating and I nearly broke my wrist that day." 

She buried her face in her hand, a grin spreading across her face. "Oh my god, I _do_ remember that. I felt so horrible."

"No you didn't, you were laughing!"

"Out of embarrassment!" 

"I'm surprised you didn't melt all the ice with how hot your cheeks got, you resembled a tomato if I remember rightly." 

That stupid grin refused to leave her face. "We had a lot of fun." 

"We did." He kissed her cheek. "Where did all the time ago?" 

Gwen slowly drew her eyes up to his, it was only then she realized how close they were. Her legs were crossed at the ankles and draped across his lap, his fingers were comfortably tucked between her thighs, their shoulders pressed together. They were close enough to feel their gentle breaths against one another, to see the overwrought glances around each other’s faces. 

Their lips crashed together and Gwendoline knew one thing for sure, Nik wasn’t going to be happy about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I spared you Gwiles smut, thank me later.)


	28. Intrusive Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want him to be a forever thing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I left you guys on such a strange cliff-hanger, I'd genuinely forgotten! This is a shorter chapter but I have things brewing for future ones. 
> 
> If you have any suggestions on what you think should happen. 
> 
> And as always, let me know what you think!

Their chests heaved still as they came down from their high. Gwen laid her head back on her shoulders and stared at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes, her body still trembling and constricting around him.  _ Jesus christ what did we just do?  _ She looked down at him and tried to hide that feeling of regret that was spiralling around deep inside her. 

“Giles… did we fuck up?” 

He fixed his glasses and looked up at her. “Pardon?” 

“You just… you said that I should start treating Nik like he’s my future but then we… go and do this.” She gestured to their bodies. 

“We’ll make it our last. Besides, he was doing this to his wife for years.” He pulled her close and laid his head back. “I doubt he’ll be worried.” 

She sighed and rested heavily against his chest, her chin nuzzled into his shoulder. “He’s going to be furious.” 

He grew quiet. “I know. But hey, it’s not like you’re staying with me because of the sex.” 

Gwen snorted quietly, shaking her head. “Definitely not the sex. I hope Jonathan is getting a better end to this deal.” 

He laughed and gently slapped her bare back. “Rude.” 

She kissed his cheek, then carefully crawled off of him, then started gathering her clothes. “I should shower.” She swiped her phone off the coffee table, then pranced to the master bathroom. She tried to scrub herself clean of the day, she wanted to wash away the guilt and the frustration, the uncertainty and worries that plagued her. 

_ I want a new start with Nikolaj. I want whatever he wants. No more of this bullshit with Giles, I love him but I love Nik more, that idiot. Giles can have the shopping trips and tea time, maybe dinner - but never this again - Nikolaj is my future and I need to treat him like it.  _ He’s not a flash in the pan, spur of the moment fun. You’ve been dancing around each other for years,  _ denying your feelings since day one. He loves you. You love him too. You’re building something new and it should be cared for as such. This is a big step, there’s no safety net next time.  _

_ I want him to be happy. I want to be happy with him.  _

_ I want to start new with him.  _

_ I want him to be a forever thing.  _

_ Genuine and true love is so rare that when you encounter it in any form, it’s a wonderful thing, to be utterly cherished in whatever form it takes.  _

When Gwen snapped from her thoughts, she was sitting on the cold tile floor, a soapy loofah held tightly against her chest. She took a deep, calming breath, then stood and finished her shower with no more intrusive thoughts. Wrapped in her favorite robe, she grabbed her phone off the counter.

_ Missed call from Idiot *heart* (3) _

_ Texts from Idiot *heart* (5)  _

Gwen ran a string of curses out of her mouth before calling him back.  _ Come on, pick up. _

As soon he answered, she started speaking. “Nik, god, is everything okay? I’m sorry, I got caught up in putting things away, I just got out of the shower and saw that you called. I didn’t even check your texts yet.” 

“I’m fine, everything’s fine. I’m back home now. I had just sent you some house listings in Denmark. I know we discussed the U.S. or London, but… I do want somewhere close to my girls. Maybe they can stay there when we’re not using it.” 

“Of course, of course.” She put her phone on speaker and placed it down on the counter. “Maybe we can do some investing. A small place in Denmark. A small place in London. And you’re keeping your home in LA. That will cover the three main places we’ll be staying.” 

“I’ll keep looking and sending you listings.” 

“I’ll do the same.” She smiled softly. “I’m glad you’re safe. Enjoy your time with your girls.”

“They’re out with their friends for the night. So just me.” She could hear the faint rustling of clothes or blankets, maybe both. A moment of pause. “What are you doing right now?” 

Gwen chuckled softly, rubbing a light cream into her cheeks. “I’m doing my skincare routine. Very important.” 

“I thought it would be something far more sexy.” 

“Afraid not, I’m quite jetlagged.” She tried to ignore the small lump forming at the back of her throat. She hated lying to him.  _ It’s not a lie, you’re tired. You’ll tell him soon. Maybe. Eventually.  _

He yawned and she could practically envision his cute little stretch.  _ God, you’re a soft idiot for him.  _ “I am too. I’ve got a long day tomorrow.” 

Her lips curled into a devilish smirk as she got an idea. She quietly undid her robe and let it fall open. “I’ll let you sleep then, darling.” She snatched her phone off the counter and swiped it open to her camera. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” 

She didn’t focus much on what Nik had said next, she was far too busy positioning the robe off her shoulders, just barely hanging on. She then snapped a couple photos while humming in agreement, trying different poses in the bright, nearly flattering lighting. Examining the photos, they left nothing to the imagination.  _ Perfect. _

Nik’s voice cut through. “Hey, I love you.” He sounded soft, genuine, like he’d been waiting to say it all day. 

She smiled. “I love you too.” She couldn’t help but bite her lip to hide that knowing smirk as she hit send. 

“You better get some beauty sleep before you start rehearsals, you won’t be getting anymore.” He started to chuckle, but it was quickly silenced. “You little minx…” 

“Goodnight, Nik.” She gave a kissy noise before hanging up.  _ That’ll keep him busy,  _ she thought. 

She didn't overtly avoid Giles after their coupling, but she did make herself scarce, mostly out of shame. She quickly grabbed clothes from their old room, her carry-on from the plane, and  made herself comfortable in the guest room - despite the fact that Giles said she could have the master to herself. 

She glanced over her script for _A Midsummer Night’s Dream,_ something she'd already been looking at since nearly March after being cast. They hadn't required her to start memorizing her lines yet, though of course Gwen thought she'd get a good head start, as she often times did. Rehearsals would be a slow start to a very,  _ very _ long process. It meant long hours learning her lines while away from home. She had things to do, people to meet, places to be, and Game of Thrones episodes to be disappointed in. These months ahead of her were going to be long and tiring. But she was ready with a new beginning, may it give her the strength she needs. 


	29. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "God no?! What’s happened to you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know where this chapter came from, but it's kind of soft and fluffy. 
> 
> Let me know what you think, lovelies!

_ I can’t tell Nikolaj.  _

_ Holy shit I really can’t tell Nikolaj.  _

_ I’d rather have the guilt eat me alive than ever see the hurt on his face.  _

_ He is my future.  _

_ He is what I’m looking forward to in life.  _

“Gwendoline! Look alive!” 

She quickly blinked and looked up from where her eyes had lost their focus on her script. They were hour 2 into their rehearsal, she’d been sitting off to the side, waiting for her blocking cues while the Rude Mechanicals got theirs . 

She stood quickly. “My apologies, just… reading ahead.” 

“No need, come on up here.” The director waved a dismissive hand and continued. 

The entire time she kept thinking of Giles and Nikolaj.  _ Of course I can’t tell Nik what happened, he’d be devastated. Crushed. I could swear Giles to secrecy, he’d love holding that over Nik’s head even if it means nothing. He doesn’t need one more thing to worry about - not that Nik has reason to worry, considering sleeping with Giles isn’t quite… how do we put this nicely? Not worth it? Sore knees, aching thighs (and not in a good way), and he’s not much help in getting off. I have better ways I can spend my time.  _

She had to swear that man to secrecy. 

Gwen pushed the door closed with her foot and quite literally dropped everything, as nicely and gently as she could, to the floor as it clicked behind her. She left her boots in the middle of the hall and continued her way to the kitchen, where she heard Giles clanging around a pot or pan. 

Giles turned, a pot in one hand and the matching lid in the other, and before he could even open his mouth-

“I need something to ask of you.” 

His brows furrowed. “I was just going to ask if you wanted pasta tonight.” 

“Yes, but we need to discuss something.” 

He gave a broad gesture with the lid still in hand. “Talk away.” 

“Alright…” She leaned against the counter, playing with the hem of her sweater. “I need you to keep something a secret. It’s really important to me that this person never finds out.” 

“You’re embarrassed that we slept together.” 

Her eyes grew wide. “That’s not what I said.” 

“Gwen, darling, that’s what you meant. And that’s fine. I won’t tell Nikolaj if you’re so worried about it. I don’t really have reason to.” He shrugged, continuing to prepare dinner. 

“I can’t tell him, it would break his little heart and I’m not sure I have the capability to piece it back together.” She sulked. “He’s sensitive in the strangest ways.” 

“You have my word, I won’t tell him.” He snaked his arms around her and kissed her shoulder. “And if he asks, I’ll deny it if you want.” 

She leaned heavily into him and closed her eyes, growing quiet. “I would like that, thank you.” 

“For you, anything.” 

_ I’ll hold him to that. _

Nikolaj hadn’t returned for the premiere of Game of Thrones, but they made an effort to watch it together over FaceTime. Not quite the same since it was a day late and they had already seen it, but it kept their minds off of being apart. Being away was slowly becoming more agonizing for Gwen, she didn’t really…  _ miss _ him before because they’d talked regularly over the phone in the way that good friends do, y’know, in addition all the gentle flirtation and dirty talk that occasionally rose in conversation. Now, it was different. She didn’t just miss the thrill of fucking him in secret or arguing with him over nothing anymore. She missed his smell, the way he held her when they slept, the silly little things he said when he first woke up, seeing how much he cared for her and his girls. 

_ God I’m a sap for him.  _

She just loved him. 

Unfortunately, rehearsals started taking up more and more of Gwen’s time. Of course she still talked to Nikolaj and made time to do things she had previously agreed to. She did the photoshoots, she attended the interviews happily - even if they did cause the pit of anxiety deep inside her to grow exponentially. But it made looking for places to live a chore, considering all free time she had was spent caring for herself and getting Nik to stop worrying about her. Nearly 3 weeks apart, doing their own individual work, made him  _ very _ concerned for her well-being. While it was endearing and filled with nothing but love, she didn’t need the constant reminders. 

“Gwendoline, you need to be sleeping more.” He nagged. 

She stopped shoveling rice into her mouth only to reply, “I’m sleeping more than enough, thank you.” 

“Then you need to be eating more.” 

“I’m eating  _ right now!” _

“Then you-”

“If you’re not going to suggest that I need to be getting more dick, I don’t want to hear it!” 

Nik was quiet for but a moment. “I was going to suggest that you should open the door.” 

She left her phone and food where they were on the table and took off in a sprint to the front door. She swung it open and was immediately overcome with emotion, he was really there, just for her. He pulled his suitcase in and set down his carry-on, but she was already pulling him into her arms and hugging him tight. 

“I missed you.” He stroked her hair and kissed her cheek, snaking his free arm around her waist. 

Gwen only hugged him tighter in response, her chest tight, her eyes watering, and a lump forming at the back of her throat. 

“I really missed you…” 

“Just shut up and kiss me.” She gently grabbed his cheeks and pressed her lips to his. 

He wasted no time in kissing her back, the hand that had taken to stroking her hair now grabbing a handful. His other trailed down to creep into her shirt, his fingertips ghosting across her soft skin there. Her fingers grazed along his scalp, sighing her contentment against his mouth. 

She pulled away, “Giles is out with Jonathan for the night.”

His lips slowly tugged into a smile, then into a mischievous grin. He quickly ducked down, pressed his shoulder into her hip, then stood straight. Gwen let out a surprised scream as her bottom half was scooped out from underneath her, clinging to the back of his shirt. She guided him with her words to the guest room she’s been staying in, so they didn’t soil Giles’ bed once again. He carefully set her down, and straightened out her shirt. 

Nik glanced around the cozy room. The walls were a warm, light brown and covered in small paintings that Gwen undoubtedly picked. The bed was smaller than he’d like, considering they both sprawled out like toddlers in their sleep, and it meant less room for…  _ activities _ , but it was acceptable. 

His eyes fell back on Gwen. She truly looked exhausted, like she needed to sleep for a week straight. She may have had dark circles under her eyes, but her face had gained a certain softness to it. Maybe he shouldn’t have been worried about her eating while he was away.  _ She can take care of herself, she’s a big girl.  _

Gwen huffed out a laugh. “You’re looking at how bloated my face is, aren’t you?” 

“What? No. I just missed your face.” He gently took her face in his hands. “You look tired.” 

Her pale brows immediately furrowed and her eyes narrowed at him, pulling away from his grasp. “And you look like you got lost in the woods, what is this?” She grabbed either side of his bearded jaw in one hand. 

“You don’t like it?” He chuckled. “I was growing it out for you.” 

“I couldn’t think of anything else to insult.” She admitted, a small smile replacing the scowl on her lips. 

“Come on, let’s get you into bed.” 

“I’ve been sleeping plenty, thank you very much. Just long days, long nights. I’m surprised you didn’t have big plans tonight to strip me out of my clothes and tie me to the bed or something.” 

“Oh no, god no.” He took her and guided her into bed. 

“ _ God no?!  _ What’s happened to you? You’re usually the first to-”

“Those plans are for tomorrow. You have it off, don’t you?” 

“Oh. Yes, I do. So that means… cuddle while we sleep?” She looked up at him, the tiniest bit of hopefulness in her eyes. 

“Absolutely.” He tugged his sweater off over his head and crawled in next to her. 

Gwen pulled him close and rested her head on his chest, listening quietly to his heartbeat. She breathed him in deeply, letting him wash over her like a wave. His arms curled around her and that’s when they really felt it. Together, they were home. 


	30. Right Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And everything felt right again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smutty smut for you lovelies. (I'm sure one of these days I'll come back and fix mistakes. Today will not be that day.) 
> 
> Any suggestions for upcoming chapters? 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

_ His warm and calloused hands ran over the expanse of her back and shoulders, cresting over her sides and caressing her stomach. His breath was hot at the back of her neck, deep and steady breaths that made hers waver. He trailed his fingers up to ghost the underside of her breast, his hips firmly pressing against her from behind. He was already half-hard, at least she thought he was considering he was still wearing his jeans.  _

_ His lips enclosed around the soft, tender skin just below her ear, letting a soft noise escape the back of his throat. She sighed in response, her body melting against his, refusing to open her eyes. Her hand found purchase through the darkness, gripping his thigh firmly. A familiar warmth spread across her chest in a blush, slowly creeping up her neck and to her cheeks, her body slowly being set ablaze.  _

_ His hips ground deliberately against her ass, his free hand splayed across her stomach pulling her body even closer. A low groan rumbled from his chest. “God, Gwendoline.” That’s when he shoved an impatient hand down the front of her pants and panties together, fingers immediately drawn to her needy clit.  _

_ She keened and tucked her head into the crook of his neck, his rough beard scraping against her cheek. His fingertips rubbed gentle circles around her clit, moving  _ **_just_ ** _ how she liked it. She released his thigh, her hand seeking a fistful of his hair. Triumphantly she grasped it tightly.  _

“Ow!” 

Gwen quickly released her hold on Nik’s hair and shot up. Her eyes were bleary and tired, straining against the first glimpses of morning light shining through the thin curtains. She looked down at Nikolaj below her, his eyes half shut and his lips curled into a frown. 

“What the hell was that for?” He rubbed at the spot at the back of his head. 

“I’m sorry.” She turned and snuggled into him, burying her face into the crook of his neck. “I must have been dreaming.” 

He huffed out a gruff laugh. “Felt real to me. A bad dream?” 

She shook her head, planting faint kisses against his skin. “No.” 

“A good one? With hair pulling?” He pulled back to look at her. A tired grin breaking across his face, a brow raised. “I think that sounds like a good dream to me.” He wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek on top of her head. 

“It was.” She smiled softly. “You were very sexy in it.” 

“Sleep.” He closed his eyes. “You need it.” 

“Stubborn man.” 

“Always.”

She couldn’t help but smile as she molded into Nik and found sleep once again. 

The next time she roused from her sleep it was far more gentle, the morning glow filling every corner of the room. She shut her eyes once more and blindly felt the other side of the bed for Nik. She flinched upon feeling a hand on her knee, but quickly relaxed as he rubbed in small circles. 

Not bothering to open her eyes. “Morning.” 

Nik inched down the covers and planted a kiss on her exposed stomach, just below her belly button. “Morning.” 

She grabbed the hem of her shirt and covered her skin from his view. “What are you doing down there?” 

“What I always do down here.” He kissed the back of her hand, then lifted her shirt and kissed her stomach once more. “I plan to stay here for quite some time… If that’s alright.” 

She lifted her head and peered down at him, his pupils were already blown, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. Slowly, Gwen nodded. “Please.” 

Like he’d been waiting to do, he grabbed either side of her pants and drug them down the miles and miles of legs. Wrestling them from her ankles, he tossed them aside, not worried about where they’d land. He grasped her ankle, pressing his lips just above the bone. He locked eyes with her and proceeded down her leg, moving slowly towards her knee. 

Gwen placed her foot against his chest and playfully shoved him. “Do you have to be such a tease about it?” 

He chuckled. “Do you want me to start over?” He pressed a kiss to her ankle where he had started. “Because I will.” 

“Maybe I do.” 

He raised a challenging brow, then slowly… ever so  _ slowly _ made his way back to her knee, leaving soft and wet kisses in his wake. Then before he could go any further, he switched sides, now lavishing her opposite leg in the same way. 

Gwen rolled her eyes but let him take his time. She enjoyed watching him praise her body, peppering it in a way that so very  _ Nikolaj.  _ Small twinges of warm spread through her, gathering in her core as she waited. Snaking her unattended leg around him, she managed to yank him closer - close enough to touch him. Her eager hands roamed what they could reach, pulling at his shirt and trying to get inside his pants.

Nikolaj grabbed her wrists. “So impatient. Tsk, tsk.” A spark of excitement flashed through Gwen’s eyes, a sudden alertness to her now. “You stay right here.” He chastised. 

He promptly left the room. In the short time he was gone, Gwen managed to strip herself of the rest of her clothing, save for her panties.  _ God, I don’t look like I used to.  _ She went to reach for her discarded shirt when Nik returned, suitcase at his side. 

His eyes grazed up and down her body with an intent look of desire. “Sit down.” 

Gwen did as she was told, watching him cross the room before tossing down his suitcase and rooting through it. She tried to peek around him, but within a moment he was facing her again, standing tall, his hands clutching a small bundle of golden rope - and not to mention the obvious tenting in his trousers. A mischievous grin flashed across his face as he saw her eyes widen. 

Wordlessly, he unwound the rope. He knelt in front of her and gestured with a single finger for her to come closer. Inhaling a shaky, eager, excited breath, she held her wrists together in front of herself. 

He ran the soft, tightly wound cord across her hands before meticulously binding her wrists together. He tugged several times to reassure himself that he was doing it correctly, making sure it wasn’t too loose or too tight, that it wouldn’t tighten on its own and hurt her. Though he knew she didn’t mind a little pain… Nik splayed a warm hand across her sternum before shoving Gwen into the mattress. She let out a quiet gasp of surprise, staring up at him with wide and wondrous eyes. He then deftly tied the remaining rope to the wooden framing of the headboard, yanking on it to ensure it’ll stay put. 

“Hey,” she nudged him with her leg. When his eyes met hers she smiled, lifting her chin. “Come here.” 

Nik gladly planted a firm kiss on her lips, his hands coasting down her arms before grabbing at her waist. Gwen caught his bottom lip between her teeth and drew a groan from his throat. 

She locked her long legs around his middle and grinned, nipping at his earlobe. “Fuck me hard.” 

Nik’s breath caught in his throat, nodding quickly. He wrestled out of her grasp and stood, stripping himself of his clothing. His cock stood at attention, eager and ready. He stroked himself and found his way between her thighs once more. 

His hand abandoned his cock and brought his fingers to the apex of her thighs, sliding them along her slit. He suppressed a groan as Gwen immediately began to writhe against his touch. 

“Fuck,” he tried to remain calm, but his wanton cock clearly had a reaction of it’s own, twitching upon the first of her. “You’re so wet.” 

She huffed out a laugh. “Did I mention that it was a  _ really _ good dream?” 

He couldn’t resist any longer, delving two fingers between the slick folds and into her tight, warm cunt, pushing them as deep as he could. Gwen sighed contentedly and laid her head back while Nik slowly moved his fingers in and out of her, watching them reappear with the  _ oh so  _ familiar sheen of arousal and disappearing back into her depths. He stroked her thigh with his unoccupied hand, trying to focus on anything but the fact that this woman was soaked to her core and gently squirming under him.

“Please - fuck, Nik,” she whined. “Fuck me.” 

He withdrew his fingers and raised a brow at Gwen expectantly, bringing his shining fingers up to her mouth. Without hesitation, she closed her lips around his digits and savored the taste of herself. While she licked his fingers clean, Nik teased the head of his cock against her pussy before penetrating her fully in one forceful thrust. 

Gwen resisted biting down on Nik’s fingers, instead encasing him in her long legs and attempting to pull on her restraints. He couldn’t help but grin, drawing his fingers from her mouth and trailing them down her neck, between her breasts. 

“God, you’re so gorgeous.” He groaned. His hand continued further down, fingers grasping at her hip. 

She undulated her hips impatiently. “Nikolaj.  _ Please.”  _ The look in her eyes was close to desperate, her lips parted, her chest rising and falling quickly. 

He slid his length out slowly, though not slow enough to earn him a beating later, until only the tip remained. His pace was nearly manic, pounding into her with pure lascivious need. Again and again he drove his cock inside her, her hips bucking wildly to meet him each and every time. Her throaty, loud, immodest moans mixed with his constant strand of grunts - but it was nothing without the rhythmic sound of skin against skin and the squelch of Gwen’s pussy fluttering around his cock. Words of praise and curses fell from his mouth when it wasn’t assaulting her breasts. Greedily sucking her pert, pink nipples into his mouth and rolling them around his tongue. 

The tension coiled and built inside her at a rate that was shocking, to say the least, being thrown off the edge into that dizzying ecstasy she’d grown to know so well. A high-pitched whine tore from her throat, her eyes screwed shut, arms pulling at the ropes while Nikolaj continued to pump away. But he didn’t hold on much longer than Gwen, that shiver shooting up his spine and balls tightening while her cunt pulsed around him. 

He buried himself deep inside her with a satiated groan, spilling his seed in her. He fell to his elbows before wrapping her up in his arms, resting his weight on top of her. Gwen continued to pant quietly, her thighs trembling still.

She tried to speak but all she could manage was a breathy “hands.” 

Nik wordlessly untied her hands from the headboard, though her wrists were still bound together, before laying them both on their sides. She tucked her head under his chin and held her hands against his chest. 

“Did I hurt you?” Nik tentatively asked, running is hand up and down her bare back soothingly. 

She quickly shook her head. “It was perfect.” She nuzzled in further. 

“Good… good.” 

They laid in a comfortable silence; their breaths slowed, her hands were eventually released from their bindings, the morning chill had set in on their sweat covered bodies and they retreated under the covers. They shared sweet, tender kisses with bruised lips. 

And everything felt right again. 


	31. Valiant Effort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A valiant effort, he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know where this came from, Lovelies, but I hope this holds you over for now. I'm trying to decide what direction I'm taking this story in, if you have any suggestions, I'd absolutely love to hear them. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

“I have a place for us to look at today.” Nik said offhandedly over the rim of his coffee mug. 

Gwen cocked her head. “Oh, okay.” 

“If that’s okay.” 

“Of course, of course. We need to look. Did you find anything in Denmark while you were there?” She picked at her croissant, the red indents of the ropes still faintly evident around her wrists. 

“Only the one I showed you.” 

She wrinkled her nose at the thought. It was hideous and it’s no wonder Nukaka had to pick out their house in L.A., Nik was terrible at finding suitable houses. The rooms were too small, the ceilings were too low, and there was an alarming amount of windows since it was away from the city… far away from the city. She didn’t need anything fancy, but it needed to at least  _ fit _ them. 

“Hey,” he rested his hand over hers. “There’s no need to rush. Giles isn’t kicking you out, and I’m perfectly okay with staying in hotels.” He gave his best reassuring smile, she could tell it was genuine. 

She sighed softly and nodded in response, lacing her fingers through his and giving his hand a gentle squeeze. 

“I’m sorry, I know you’re worried. And I know you don’t agree with me all the time.” He mused. 

She rolled her eyes with a smile. “You’re intolerable, you know that?” 

“But you love me.” 

“Unfortunately, yes.” She pressed her lips to his, allowing her eyes to shut as the two of them melded together. 

He happily kissed her in return, pulling away to turn his attention back to his breakfast. “We need a shower before we go anywhere though. We smell like sex and breakfast.” 

Gwen snorted. “I’ll go take care of that.” 

He watched her stand. “Aren’t you going to stay and finish breakfast?” 

“Not very hungry.” She was already halfway down the hall. “You can have it if you’d like.” 

The house tour went far worse than Nikolaj had wanted. Gwendoline could hardly find a single thing she liked about it and while she had put on a friendly front to the realtor, Nik got an earful on the way back. 

“Nikolaj, no, absolutely not. It’s an hour outside the city! I know you want land for the potential idea of children, but we need to think of ourselves too! Who’s going to take care of an acre of land?” 

He gripped the steering wheel tighter. “I will.” 

“And when we’re gone for months at a time for a job?” 

“We’ll  _ hire _ someone.” 

“The office space was practically a closet! The actual closet was somehow even  _ smaller _ ! And there’s no way we could fit a king sized bed through that cramped little hallway.” 

His blood began to boil. He thought it was  _ perfect _ for them and a couple children -  _ oh, sorry, just one -  _ to live in. The land surrounding it was incredible, there wasn’t another neighbor anywhere in view. There was a huge tree that would make an incredible treehouse. The kitchen was big and open. 

And yet Gwen continued. “Nik, I really can’t live that far outside the city, I love being able to walk places! Imagine walking to our favorite little coffee shop on the weekends or walking home after a nice date. Or at least catch a cab that won’t cost an arm and a leg. Yes, the windows were big, the dining room was nice, yes the hideous carpet could be ripped up, but I would be miserable there.” 

“Just fucking shut up about it!” He slammed his hand on the wheel, his anger getting the better of him. 

She fell silent and turned her attention to the road ahead. That’s when Nik knew he fucked up. 

She remained silent for that excruciating hour back to the flat. He’d encountered this dead stare many times before, yet somehow he’d never caused it. She would often fight with Giles or disagree with Alfie, and she’d retreat to this stare. Lost in her own thoughts and waiting - for what, he didn’t know. He was always the one to comfort her, to break her deep-set scowl into a smile, or at least some semblance of a smile. But now that he caused it, he understood why those men steered clear of her. It was terrifying. 

Upon arriving back at the flat, Gwen wordlessly got out and walked inside without even  _ thinking  _ of waiting for him. Nik sat in the rental car still.  _ Do I apologize? Do I stay away? Do I try my old tricks to get her to smile? Surely she’d still break eventually.  _

He sighed quietly to himself and followed Gwen inside. She was already sitting down in the dining room, laptop open, as she searched for flats in the area. She mumbled to herself and typed away, ignoring Nik entirely as he tried to saunter his way up to the table. But he was terrified, the usual confidence he brought when trying to cheer her up now faltering. 

_ Start small, test the waters. The… boiling hot, scalding waters.  _ He trailed a hand down her arm, resting at her wrist. 

Gwen’s eyes flickered from his hand, to his face, then back to her computer. 

_ A valiant effort,  _ he thought. He plucked her hand off the table and brought it to his lips, but she slipped her fingers from his grasp to type. 

He sighed. “Gwen-”

“I really don’t want to do this right now.” 

“She speaks.” He sat beside her. 

She raised a challenging brow and said nothing. 

“I’m sorry I yelled. I shouldn’t have.” 

Nothing. 

“Maybe… I need to see places you like to help me get a better idea of how to compromise.” 

Another glance shot his way.  _ That sparked her interest.  _

“Close to the city. Big enough for us.” 

She nodded in agreement. The deep lines of her scowl smoothing out, her pale brows no longer furrowed, and she isn’t biting the inside of her cheek anymore.  _ Good.  _

“Hmmm, maybe - no, no,” he pretended to ponder. “Shower large enough to fuck in.” He grinned. “High ceilings, good echo.” 

“Yes to the shower, no the echo.” 

He leaned in close. “But I love hearing your screams bouncing off the walls.” 

Gwen couldn’t help but smile, gently shoving him away with a firm hand to his chest. “You’re terrible.” 

He snatched her hand and kissed her knuckles like he’d planned to do before. “But you love it.”    
  
“I hate it, I don’t like youuuu!” She whined jokingly. “Now buzz off, I need to  _ actually _ start looking for places I like, I go back to rehearsals tomorrow. Which reminds me, where are you going to stay? How long are you here?” She huffed a laugh. “There’s a lot we haven’t discussed.” 

Nik shrugged with a smile, that being his only response.

“I’m going to be busy. I’m sure you don’t want to spend this time with Giles.” She mused.

“I can manage to keep myself occupied while you’re rehearsing, it’s only a few hours out of the day. I can keep house hunting. And - when you’re home - you’ll be wined, dined, and… tied to the bed.” He chuckled, grinning stupidly. 

Gwen rolled her eyes. “How could I refuse?”

"So I take it I'm forgiven?" He gave his best puppy dog eyes. 

She laughed. "I never said that. You're just charming enough to get away with it for now." 


	32. As Long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As long as I have her, it’s worth it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A gently fluffy chapter. I'm sorry it's a bit on the short side. I've got *cracks knuckles* big plans, my babies. How will they all map out? I've not the slightest idea, we'll see. 
> 
> Any suggestions, feel free to comment. (Or, ha, I have an email - multiverseofshe@gmail.com - if you're shy and don't want them out in the open. Or we can just have a lovely chat.)
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Several houses. So many houses.  _ Too many goddamn houses.  _

The couple grew sick of looking at flat after flat, room after room, option after option. They finally hired a realtor to help them, against Nik’s wishes.  _ Stubborn man, _ Gwen constantly thought.  _ He’s going to stomp around like a toddler until we find a place we like.  _ Nik’s opinions on places grew quieter and quieter until only Gwen gave them. 

For two and a half weeks Nikolaj stayed in London with Gwendoline. Nik,  _ reluctantly _ , decided to cohabitate with Giles in that time. Staying in a hotel didn’t seem worth it for such an extended period, so they made do. Giles was often gone, whether that was working in his office or away with Jonathan, he lived to get under Nik’s skin though. He’d order dinner before Nik had the chance to, he’d rub Gwen’s feet while she was half asleep on the couch, he’d whisk her away to make last minute adjustments to her dresses.

_ I’m jealous,  _ Nik thought.  _ Perhaps a bit too jealous…  _

Gwendoline’s rehearsals drew longer and longer as opening night approached at an alarming rate. She spent extra hours bonding with the rest of the cast, unfortunately for Nikolaj, they were a very close bunch. She’d often leave early for lunch with them, a ridiculous smile on her face as she ventured out. And she often wouldn’t return until long after dinner. 

_ I may be a bit jealous of her cast too…  _

When she  _ did _ return, she was exhausted and starving. Nik learned early on to always have something prepared for her when she came home, big meals to appease her appetite. Gwen would scarf down everything on her plate and tell Nikolaj about her day - around a mouthful of food, of course. 

After eating, Gwen would often pass out wherever she found it comfortable. The couch, her favorite chair, in their bed (though it was rare), once or twice she fell asleep at the dining room table. The strangest was halfway into a workout, Nik had walked in to find her laying face down on a yoga mat, Madonna still blaring away in her headphones. 

Gwendoline had a track record for sleeping during lunch breaks on set, but that was far more physically taxing than… Shakespeare.  _ We are getting older. We’re not under the strict rules of personal trainers or on diets anymore. We’ve gone a bit soft.  _

Nik actually admired the way they were changing, or - moreso, the way Gwen was changing. He watched her slowly, tiredly undress before bed. Her toned stomach now had gentle curves, a small roll even as she dropped her shirt to the floor. Her small breasts that once fit perfectly in his cupped palm now more than a handful. Unfortunately, Gwen had taken notice and started wearing bras far more often than either of them would like. Her thighs were less sinewy, though it meant more for Nik to grab when she straddled his face. Her ass was more plush in his firm grasp, even more fun to watch when his hand met her bare skin. He  _ loved _ these new curves but Gwen, on the other hand, did not. 

She huffed and turned away from the mirror mounted on the wall, sliding her shirt over her head, the soft pink lines from being constrained in a bra all day still freshly indented in her skin. The exhaustion and irritation evident on her face, she noticeably scowled even further when she saw Nik’s wandering eyes on her. 

“Stop looking at me like that.” 

He blinked. “What?” 

“I know I’ve gained weight, you don’t have to stare.” 

“I’m staring because I  _ like _ what I see. God, are you blind?” 

Gwen sighed heavily and crawled into her side of the bed, immediately pulling the covers over herself and shutting her eyes. 

Nik wrapped his arm around her and pulled her flush against him, his hand gliding across her stomach. “Do you need me to show you?” 

Silence, before the quietest “no” came from her lips. 

“Please, let me show you… I love you, Gwendoline. I love every last bit of you.”    


“Well now there’s a lot more of me to love.” 

“You’re just a whole lot of woman.” He wound her up tighter in his arms, a grin playing at his lips.    


She groaned, pulling the blanket up over her face. “I was hoping you’d let that go.” 

“How could I when it crosses my mind all the time?” He tugged the blanket from her grasp and kissed her bare shoulder. “There may be more of you to love now, but I find that the most exciting thing. More to hold, more to kiss and to touch.” He nuzzled his nose into her neck, placing a gentle kiss there. 

Gwen quietly turned to face him, snaking her arms around his torso.

“You never stopped being beautiful.” 

“You’re so full of it.” 

“I am, but not when I’m regarding you.” Nik pulled back and lifted her chin. “You’re gorgeous. I love you. I’m proud of you. Those things won’t change.” 

She searched his eyes for any sort of mendacious undertones, any gives.  _ Of course he means it, how could he not? He’s stayed with you for weeks while you prance around the stage, he’s living with your ex  _ **_for you._ **

She placed her hands on his cheeks, rubbing her thumbs in slow circular motions. “I love you… But maybe… not now.” 

His smile faltered. “Excuse me?” 

“No! That’s not what I meant!” She planted her forehead against his, squeezing her eyes shut. “I meant not now to you… showing me.” She sighed. A ragged, uneasy sound from deep in her lungs. “I’m so tired.” She whispered. 

Nik nodded slowly. “I know. You said you had a long weekend before the show. Maybe we can get away, go somewhere.” A moment of pause. “Just the two of us.” 

She had slowly opened her eyes, a faint smile across her face. “I can’t promise that I won’t sleep through it.” 

“As long as I’m with you, it doesn’t matter.” 

“I am sorry I’m so busy.”

“Don’t be, you need to be busy. It suits you.” He kissed her cheek. “Now sleep.” 

Dutifully, Gwen did as she was asked, wrapping her arms around Nik and falling asleep within minutes of closing her eyes. Her breathing slowed, remaining steady and deep. 

_ As long as I have her, it’s worth it.  _

_ As long as she’s in my arms at the end of the day, I can wait.  _

_ As long as she’s happy, I can be happy too.  _

_ Keep her happy, Nik.  _


	33. Time Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yours can wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you hear my maniacal laughter from here. 
> 
> Let me know what you think, lovelies.

Gwendoline had finally agreed that she needed time away; away from home, away from the theater, even away from Giles. Though she was hesitant, she had been unusually quiet in the days leading up to their trip. In turn, Nikolaj had been quiet as well. Their conversations were short, hollow, an unfortunate routine they’d fallen into. 

They still sat together at dinner. He still ran her baths to soothe her aching muscles, she welcomed him to join her each time. They still slept in the same bed, cradling one another until sleep took them. It was just… quiet. 

Gwen would often have excuses to leave the house. _Extra preparations for the play, last minute alterations on her dress again, meeting the cast for brunch, helping Giles with_ **_something_ ** _\- whatever the hell that meant._ Nik hated it… He hated every moment she was away. He hated feeling so needy for her time and company. He hated that she was lying to spend time away from him. 

_If she didn’t want you here, she’d ask you to leave. She’s blunt, she wouldn’t dance around it._

The couple agreed on New York, just for a couple days. They, mostly _she_ , needed to de-stress and calm down before she embarked on this lengthy commitment. The sounds of the city beneath the penthouse hotel room comforted Gwen, she lived for the hustle and bustle of the streets. 

But she was still left unnerved, even with the comfort of a familiar place. 

The silence was heavy. It was awkward and tense - something they’ve never really battled with before. It was unsettling. Gwen looked up from her food while Nik kept his eyes on his plate, opening their mouths and speaking at the same time. 

“Gwen?” “Nik?” 

Gwen blinked in surprise, then quickly shook her head. _Yours can wait._ “You first.” 

Nikolaj swallowed hard and pushed his food around on his plate. “I don’t…” He started, then shook his head. He tried again after a beat. “I’d never make an assumption like this if I didn’t know you so well. All these years of being so open and honest with each other and now you’ve gone quiet, sneaking around like I _won’t notice._ ”

Her eye twitched. “Pardon?” 

“It’s insulting that you think I’m this blind or this stupid.” 

She leaned forward, watching his face curiously. “What?” 

“Who is he?” 

_Oh my god, he thinks you’re cheating. As if he could be any more wrong._ “What the hell are you talking about?” 

“You’ve been sneaking around, lying about where you’re going. You’ve never been good at lying to me, you know that.” He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms across his chest. He was clearly more upset than he was angry, always a jealous man. “Are we moving too fast? Is this too much for you? Because we can go back to living separately, I can go home to Denmark, and we can keep acting like this is some kind of fucked up-”

“Nikolaj!” She slammed her hands on the wooden table, her chair skidding backwards as she stood. “Look at me.” 

He finally locked eyes with her for the first time in hours. “Who?” 

She scoffed, spitting out her next words with malice. “Maybe I’ll have you guess. It’s someone we both know. He’s tall and he’s _very_ handsome.” 

Nik recoiled, having been waiting for her to dismiss his suspicions. He set his jaw firmly, his mouth pressed into a straight line before his bottom lip could even have the chance to quiver. 

Gwen saw him starting to form his next sentence in his head, so she continued. “He used to be blonde, but now it’s dark and he’s going grey.” She tapped her nails against the table. “Well built for his age.” _He wasn’t getting it._ “Kind of a fucked up nose but I find it endearing.” 

Nik stood, tossing his napkin on the table. “How long?” 

“Handful of years.” She straightened out her shoulders and stared at him levelly. 

His brows raised before furrowing. “How lovely for _you._ ” He sighed and walked past her, heading towards the bedroom. “You and my ex-wife both.” 

“Nikolaj, god, you’re so dense.” She took long strides after him, catching his hand in hers. “I’m not seeing anyone else. I described you, you idiot!” She pulled him to a stop. 

He faced her, a single tear painted his cheek. 

“Nik,” she sighed, taking his face in her hands. “I’m so sorry. This isn’t how I wanted this to go.” She pressed her lips to his, attempting to take away all the hurt and insecurity. She knew she couldn’t, deep down, but she could always try. 

Nik rested his forehead against hers. “I really am the stupidest Lannister.” 

She huffed out a laugh. “You’re my stupid Lannister.” A beat passed. “Nik, I…” 

“I know you’re sorry… I’m sorry too. I knew that you wouldn’t, or, I at least hoped you wouldn’t. But this is a lot, I understand if it’s too much. If it’s too fast. If you need time away.” He stroked her cheek with the backs of his fingers. “I will give you anything you want, you just have to tell me.” 

“Is it too much for you?” 

“No. This is everything I want. But it’s all about compromise, I know that.” He nodded slowly. 

She sniffled quietly and nodded along with him. 

“Gwen… are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.” She dismissed him.

“You’ve been quiet… distant. Gwen, you need to tell me what’s going on so I can help.” Another tear slipped down his rosy cheeks. 

“I, I don’t know, Nik…” She trailed off. “I just need time to myself…” 

He visibly deflated, his eyes dropping to the floor. He nodded and slipped from her grasp. “You could have said so before we came here. I could have left you alone.” 

He turned and continued on to their bedroom, leaving Gwen standing alone.

She couldn’t take it. The emotions of the past several weeks catching up to her, crashing over her like a wave. Her head swimming with thoughts all the damn time; the _what if’s,_ the doubt, the fear, the uncertainty, the crushing weight of knowing everything could go wrong. Drowning. All this time she’d been drowning. 

All this she needed something to hang on to. 

She needed Nik. 

_Spit it out and tell him instead of running away. He can’t help if you push him away. Make it real and stop fighting._

Nik paused at the door as he heard it, quiet as it was, a cry. Then another, louder this time, tearing rawly from Gwen’s lungs. She had broken, kneeling on the carpeted floor, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. Her eyes were screwed shut as hideous, loud sobs wracked through her body. 

He found himself kneeling beside her, bringing a tentative hand to rest upon her shoulder. “Gwen…” 

**_Stop fighting,_ ** she screamed at herself. _Fucking say it!_

Finally, she breached the surface and gasped for air. 

“I-I’m pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I had my fun. It was all leading to this, just took a while to get here.


	34. Really?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Please don't sing to it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My darling dears, I've no idea what this is, but I needed something between last chapter and the next one, little happy fluffy filler. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy. And if you think they should tell specific people before any sort of public announcement, let me know who you'd like to see. I have a few ideas already, possibly. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Nikolaj pulled Gwen up, taking her face in his hands. “You’re pregnant?” 

She nodded quickly, trying to contain the whimpering cries and sniffles still coming out of her. 

“Really pregnant? There’s… there’s a baby in there?” He lowered a hand to her stomach, his eyes wide and awestruck.

She couldn’t help but smile through the tears. “Yes, Nikolaj.” She rested her hand on top of his. “I’m afraid I’m not very good at keeping secrets from you.” _Except one._

“So is… _this_ why you were gone so often?” His brows knitted together in wishful thought. 

“Some of the time, yes. I’d been seeing my doctor once a week for checkups. A few times I needed a quiet place to cry on the phone to my mother.” She huffed out a laugh, wiping her cheeks with the back of her free hand. 

“And the rest of the time..?” 

She grimaced. “Promise you won’t be upset?” 

His brows furrowed. “I’ll consider.” 

“I was looking at houses without you.” She looked down at their hands. “I wanted to surprise you with a nice place. I think I’ve found the right one.” 

Nik lifted her chin and kissed her passionately. “You’re perfect. Maybe you can take me to see it when we get home?” 

She nodded quickly in agreement. “Of course.” 

A moment of silence. Gwen could practically see the cogs working in Nik’s head, he had a lot to take in, a lot to be thinking about all at once. 

“How… how are you feeling?” After finding the first question, he found the others in rapid succession. “Have you been sick? Are they healthy? How far along are you? Have you seen any pictures of them yet? Am I the only one that knows? How long do you think it’ll be before anyone in the public knows?” 

Gwen quickly put a hand over his mouth. “Nik, honey, slow down. I’ve been just fine, not sick, just absolutely exhausted. The baby and I are perfectly healthy, yes I have pictures of them. As for how far along, almost seven weeks, likely from the week we spent in this very city after the premiere.” She smiled, thinking back on that rather passion filled week. “Only you, my mother, and my doctor know. And I don’t want to worry about telling anyone else for a long time. Maybe we’ll wait until I’m showing, I’ll have less to explain.” 

They shared a short laugh before Nik pulled her tightly into his arms. “I’m mostly just glad that you’re okay.” He laid them back on the carpeted floor, keeping her flush against his chest. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away. If I’m being truthful, I would have liked to wait even longer. Until we were in the clear, less of a risk…” 

He nodded in understanding. “That’s logical. Though I wish you would have told me sooner. Gwen, this is big. We’re having a baby. We just told people about _us_ … How are we going to tell them this?” 

“I’d really been thinking about simply posting a picture on social media and shutting off my phone for a whole 24 hours.” 

He chuckled softly, rubbing her back in slow circles. “Not the worst idea.” A beat passed. “Would people still think that Giles is the father?” 

Her chest tightened and what air was in her lungs quickly depleted. _God no, I’m not admitting to sleeping with him_ **_now,_ ** _of all times._ She forced air into her lungs, letting it out slowly. 

“They might… But Nikolaj, people have been suspecting that we’ve been sleeping together since we started sleeping together.” 

He pulled her tighter to him, letting out a deep belly laugh. “I guess you’re right there. Posting a picture wouldn’t be the worst idea. We should hold off for as long as we can, until you’re visibly showing. We still haven’t announced that we’re even together.”

“These fans aren’t stupid Nik. You got divorced and we’ve been spending nearly every moment we can together, they must have figured it out weeks ago.” 

Gwen rubbed his chest, her hand moving in slow soothing strokes. It was more to calm herself than to comfort Nik, though she was certain it made him feel at peace. She shut her eyes and breathed him in, the tensity between them gone, now replaced with nothing but love and content. Slowly, Nik’s hand inched back to her stomach as they laid arm in arm. 

His voice came softly, tenderly. “I know it’s too early… but do you think it’ll be a boy or a girl?” 

She smiled softly. “I’ve had this aching feeling that it’s a girl.” 

“It’d be nice to have a boy, it’d be a change in pace for me.” 

_Oh my god he has to tell his children._

Gwen sat up on her elbows. “When are you going to tell your girls? Are you going to tell Nukaka?”   
  
“I have a feeling the girls would do it for me before I got the chance.” 

“Doesn’t that worry you? If she wanted, she could tell someone… it’d be on social media before we could even think to stop it.” 

Nik nodded slowly, the wheels turning in his head. “Maybe they can wait like everyone else.” 

“I’m leaving that up to you, I have to tell Giles’ soon. He’ll need to keep modifying my dresses.” She chewed at the inside of her lip anxiously. “Hopefully not often enough for people to notice.” 

“They won’t. We won’t address anything until you’re ready.” He sat up and placed a firm kiss on her cheek. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too, Nikolaj.” 

He grinned, placing a hand on her stomach. “I love you too, little one.” 

She rolled her eyes with a smile. “Are you going to talk to them all the time now?” 

“Absolutely, I’ll read to them, teach them Danish, sing to them."

“Please don’t sing to it.” 

“If I don’t, will you?” Nik asked with a hopeful twinge. She simply raised her brow at him. “I thought not, so it’ll be _my_ job.” 

He happily rearranged himself, laying his head in her lap. He grasped her closest hand and laced their fingers together across his chest. Gwen only gave an amused smile as he settled against her legs, leaning back on her free hand. 

It was then that he turned his head and placed a gentle kiss on her stomach. 

That’s when it started to feel real. They were really having a baby - _and he was excited, thank god._

They’re going to have a baby. _Holy Shit._


	35. Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How do you want me, sweetheart?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some smutty smut for you nasty lovelies. I just love these two and I need some sort of news about them before our collective heads explode. 
> 
> Let me know what you think, my babies!
> 
> (I'd also like to note that it's late - we all know the drill. There's mistakes, eventually I'll find them and fix them.)

Her cheek was pressed into the cold shower tiles, her hands struggling to find any purchase. He was grunting into her neck, but she could hardly hear over the blood rushing in her ears and her heart thudding against her ribcage. He had had a bruising grasp on her waist, his hips snapping against hers wildly. 

“God -  _ Fuck _ , Nik, harder.” She whined. 

He groaned and placed a sloppy, wet kiss on her shoulder. “So bossy, Christie.” She could tell he had a stupid grin on his face. She’d been bossing him around all morning, which led them to this. 

Gwen was close, as she’d been several times now - brought to the brink before being abandoned.  _ Nik and his stupid new obsession with edging.  _ She hoped every time that he’d pull back, to keep building her up more and more. But in the moment, she was always disappointed and flustered, having the deep primal need to feel that unbridled ecstasy. 

She rutted against him, grabbing one of his hands -  _ she couldn’t be bothered which was doing the job, as long as it got it done  _ \- and drug it between her thighs. “I swear to g- fuck! Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, if you don’t finish me off, I’ll strangle you.” 

Nik halted his movements, a wicked smile on his face. “Is that a threat or a promise?” 

She let out a pathetic whimper. “P-Please,” she thrust back against him. “Please.” 

He pinned her against the wall with his body. “Please what?” 

“Please, fuck me. Make me cum.” 

He swiped his fingers across her sensitive clit. “Are you sure that’s what you want?” 

She gasped at the contact. “Yes, god yes. Please.” 

He nipped at her earlobe. “One more ‘please’’.” 

Gwen chuckled. She dipped her voice to a deep, gravelly octave. “Please, sir.” 

Nik suppressed the groan that rose from his chest, instead attacking her neck in ardent kisses as he slowly slid his cock almost all the way out. He teased her with small strokes while he drew circles around her clit. 

She pushed her fingers through his hair, gripping a handful and yanking. “If you’re going to do it, do it right.” 

His eyes widened. _ How could he deny her this?  _

Nik quit his teasing and got working on the task at hand. He gave Gwendoline space to breathe again before driving his cock in and out of her at a steady rhythm. He assaulted her neck, her shoulders, her back - anything he could reach - with open mouthed kisses, running his tongue over every surface he could. He marked her marble flesh with shades of crimson and a deep purple, rosy splotches blooming from the scratches of his beard. He used a skillful hand between her thighs, the other  _ gently _ rolling her pert, pink nipple between his fingers. He learned quite early in the day that they were very sensitive now, considering he got a firm hand to the shoulder and was nearly shoved off the foot of the bed. 

But  _ now,  _ oh now was different. She was a writhing, panting mess, trapped against him. Her breaths were ragged and sharp, nearly gasping with each thrust of his hips. With her body undulating in time with his, she could hardly keep herself steady, one hand still wrapped in his hand while the other gripped uselessly at the wall. That coil inside her was growing tighter, tighter,  _ tighter still.  _

She began begging, cursing, pleading, calling out his name as she drew closer to the unadulterated, blinding pleasure she craved. It didn’t matter what she was speaking as long as he kept moving. 

_ Fucking hold yourself together, Nikolaj. You can’t blow it now when she’s so close - so  _ **_deliciously_ ** _ close.  _ Her cunt was starting to tighten around him, her unintelligible cries becoming near-deafening screams as they echoed off the bathroom walls. Nik felt the tingle in his spine, the stiffness gripping at his body. But right as he finally let go, so did she. 

Nik wrapped his arms around her as he continued to rock his hips slowly, holding her weight while she breathed deeply. Gwen laid her head back, her cheek against his, her eyes shut as they swayed. Her thigh refused to still, the occasional bolt of electricity still coursing through her. 

Slowly, she stood, using her own two feet. The blood was still rushing in her ears, her heart still pounding in her chest. 

Nik slumped against the tiles. “How many times is that?” 

Gwen huffed a laugh, her chest rising and falling more steadily now. “It would have been more if you just  _ let me _ .”   


“You’re insatiable.” He grinned. 

“You’re insufferable.” 

He tugged her closer, wrapping his arms around her. “You love what I do.” 

“You know I do.” She smiled drunkenly and leaned into him. 

He kissed her cheek and brought them into the stream of water, letting it wash over her bruised back. Unlike home, the water here stayed hot, the air in there was humid and muggy.  _ As if they wouldn’t have fogged the glass enough on their own. _

“God, Nikolaj, I’m sweating.” 

“How are you sweating in the shower?” 

“How are you  _ not?” _ She reached behind herself and turned off the water. 

Nik’s brows furrowed. “Are we not going to clean up?” 

“I’m not done with you.” She grinned and drug him out of the shower. 

Gwen threw a towel at Nik’s face, her oh-so-kind suggestion to dry off. She grabbed one for herself and dried off as she made her way back to the bed, where they’d spent most of the day so far… and the table, and the dresser, and the bed again, and the floor, oh - don’t forget the counter before the shower. How she was still going, he’d never know. How  _ he _ was still going was an even greater mystery. 

Still half-soaked, Gwen hopped into bed and patted the empty space beside her impatiently. Nik complied and crawled in next to her, shoving a pillow behind his head, his body sprawled. 

“How do you want me, sweetheart?” 

“Just like that.” She placed a firm, bruising kiss on his lips, pulling his bottom lip between her teeth. 

Nik groaned softly as she pulled away, and right as he thought she was coming back for more, she turned away. Gwen grabbed the discarded blankets, tossed them onto the bed, and grabbed the thinnest one. She happily tugged it on top the both of them before snuggling into Nik’s side. 

He chuckled softly. “I thought you said you weren’t done with me.” 

She smiled tiredly back up at him. “You’re our pillow now, I’m not done with you.” 

Without any objections, he had held her close, protectively. She laid her head on his shoulder, their fingers laced together across his chest, their legs entangled. She was asleep before Nik could even have a chance to go on some sappy, long-winded tangent about how much he loved her and the life they had created together. He didn’t mind though, he simply tucked a wet lock of her hair behind her ear and admired her silently. Trying to take each fading freckle to memory was easier than he’d imagined, he’d gotten a headstart years ago when she’d accidentally fall asleep in his hotel room, or his trailer on set. 

_ My god I should really start a list on all the places we’ve done it. I bet it would be massive. She definitely has a better memory for these things than I do, do we really think she’d help? No, she’d think I was being an idiot for making a list that  _ **_literally_ ** \- key word here -  _ anyone would stumble upon.  _ **_God I love her._ **


	36. C.W.C.E.G.L.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was hesitating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello, lovelies. 
> 
> A little silly, chatty chapter for you. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Gwendoline and Nikolaj returned back to London a day later. With the excitement and fear blended together with a dash of jet lag on top, Gwen was exhausted. She’d slept the entire flight home and could hardly keep her eyes open in the car. Nik had been giggling to himself the entire cab ride back to her flat, his eyes glued to his phone. 

She raised a questioning brow at him. “What are you doing?” 

He flashed her a mischievous grin, turning his back towards the door so she couldn’t see his screen. “Nothing.”

“You’re acting like a naughty child who got into something he wasn’t supposed to.”

“You can’t see it yet.” His eyes went back to his device. “I’ll need help finishing it later.” 

“So I can’t see it… but you need help with it?” 

He paused, then nodded seriously. “Yes.” 

She rolled her eyes, smiling tiredly. “Okay.” 

Nik went back to typing away, then hesitantly glanced back to her. “Do you really want to know?”

“I’ll find out eventually, won’t I?” 

He inched himself closer, then turned his phone to her. On it was a list titled ‘C.W.C.E.G.L.” Under it was a collection of random things; 

  * Bed
  * Chair
  * Kitchen
  * Dining table
  * Floor
  * Bath tub
  * Stairs



She scanned it slowly, making her way to the bottom as the items got stranger.

  * Dressing room
  * Trailer
  * Bathroom cubicle



She shot a glance at the driver in the rear-view mirror, then looked back to Nik and lowered her voice. “Nikolaj, is this a… weird list of house requirements? We already discussed what we wanted.” 

His cheeky grin grew wider. “No.” 

“What is it then?” 

“Think of them as… places.” 

Her brows furrowed and she used what little brain power she had left to figure out what in the hell he meant. _Places, places, think places. Are they all significant or is he just trying to list_ **_all_ ** _the places he’s ever been like an idiot? Is there a theme?_

Nik started typing again, making sure she was watching, he typed out ‘Giles’ Bed.’

She cocked her head to the side, then her tired eyes opened wide. “Nikolaj, is this a list of places that we-” The childish smile that spread from ear to ear of his _stupid_ big head told her she was right. “Oh my _god_!” 

He held a finger up to his lips. “Shhh! It’s still a work in progress. You still need to contribute. I’m having trouble remembering them all.” 

Gwen couldn’t help but laugh, head thrown back with her hand to her chest kind of laugh. “You’re absolutely ridiculous!” 

He mocked offense. “I’m taking this quite seriously, thank you.” 

“Well I feel that you need to get more precise with these, then. You should be listing locations, then have the specific rooms or items as subcategories.” 

“This is why I love you,” He leaned in to claim her lips, but he was met with a palm to his face. He chuckled and kissed her palm, then sat up straight. “Sorry.” 

“Just a little while longer.” She rubbed her thumb across the back of his hand. 

Back at the front door to Giles’ flat, she let herself and Nikolaj inside. Nik brought their things into Gwen’s room, insisting to carry everything so she doesn’t have to exert herself. She profusely reminded him that she was fully capable of doing it herself, trying to grab her possessions from his hands.

“Gwen, please let me do this.” 

She sighed and let go. “If anything, I exerted myself riding y-”

Another voice butted in. “Oh, good to see you back.” 

They both whipped around to where Giles stood in the doorway. He had a small smile on his face for once, his shirt finely pressed and his shoes still on - he must have just come back from being with Jonathan. Gwen rushed over and wrapped her arms around his neck, trapping him close to her. She breathed deeply and shut her eyes, molding into his form. 

“I missed you.” 

Giles rubbed her back and chuckled into her shoulder. “I missed you too. Why don’t you come into the kitchen with me to get some tea.” 

She pulled away and nodded. “I’d love some. Nik? Tea?” His disgusted frown told her no. 

In the kitchen, Gwen leaned against the counter, her arms folded loosely across her chest while she patiently waited for her tea to cool. “Did you get that project finished up?” 

Giles tried to hide the beginnings of a blush and a smile, but did so poorly. “I did.”   
  
“You’re a terrible liar! Did you spend it with Jonathan?” 

“I did, I did. We had a lovely time whilst you were away. Incredibly loud weekend.” He teased. 

She nudged his calf with her foot, chuckling. “Shut up. What did you two get up to?” 

“Oh not anything _nearly_ as exciting as you two got up to, I’m sure.” 

She hummed with a smile, recalling every surface she was thrust up against, each time she greedily claimed Nik’s mouth, his cock… She could list every single dirty little detail. _Though there’s maybe just one tiny little detail we should avoid…_

“You’re pregnant.” Giles stated blandly. 

_Ah, yes, that’s the one._

She swallowed the tea in her mouth thickly. It burnt as it went down, which only added to her hesitation. She stared into her mug and nodded. “How’d you know?” 

“You’re really bad at hiding evidence.” He simpered. “And so is your mother.” 

She groaned and looked to the ceiling. “My mother.” 

“She called and asked if I was excited, I said ‘my god, I’m absolutely baffled.’” He laughed. “How could you tell her before me?” 

“She birthed me.” She sipped the still scalding liquid. “And she’d have a cow if she wasn’t the first to know.” 

“What about _that_ one?” He jerked his head in the direction of the bedroom. 

She huffed. “He thought I was cheating on him, I had to tell him. I would have liked to wait to tell any of you.” 

“He really is stupid.” 

“Play nice, his wife was cheating on him-"

“While he was fucking you.” He finished for her. 

Whatever retort she would have conjured died on her tongue. She puffed out her cheeks and shifted her weight between her feet. “You’re not wrong…” 

“Well, congrats. You’d been talking about this for a while, honestly didn’t think it’d happen.” 

Gwen hummed her agreement. Though there was a tinge of hurt that struck her. _He means well, he’s happy for you._ He didn’t have to say it like that. _He’s worried about you, you know that._ What if he’s-

“Gwen?” 

“Hmm?” 

He chewed the inside of his lip for a moment, he was hesitating. “Are you sure it’s his?” 

_Oh fucking hell._


	37. Under My Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re such an asshole.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovely babies, I have another chatty chapter for you. I hope you enjoy it, it started as a complete mess and... ended as a complete mess. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Giles’ eyes widened. “Oh my god, Gwendoline, is it mine?” 

“No, shut up!” She hissed. “Keep your voice down.” 

“There’s always the possibility it’s mine.” He tried so hard to keep a straight face, but a sly grin started to peek through. 

_ Oh thank the gods he’s joking.  _ “You’re such an asshole.” She punched his arm. 

“You know you’d love it if it were mine.” 

“We only fucked once in  _ months _ . You really think between the two of you, it’d be  _ you _ to put a baby in me?” She scoffed. “You wish.” 

His brows shot up. “You seem quite certain.” 

“Oh I am.” She chuckled into her mug. 

“The timing would be right. The day he left and you were upset… how long ago was that?” He swished a finger through the air as if he were counting the days. 

She shook her head. “Giles, please. It’s not even funny to joke about now, and if I need to be certain, I’ll get the bloody tests done.” 

“You think you can keep that from him?” 

She sighed. “I hope so.” 

_ Way to ruin the fun, Giles. Moving on. _ “Are you two still looking for places?” 

“I’m showing him one tomorrow, then I’m planning on sleeping the rest of the day.” She laughed, but she was deadly serious. The amount of sleep she was going to need to get her through the next months was going to be ridiculous. “Probably not much looking to be done until the show is over.” 

“Well I’ll certainly miss not having you around, eating all our food and stealing all our socks.” He rubbed her shoulder, a stupid grin on his lips. 

She laughed softly, wrapping her arms around him. “Quite stupid of you to think you’ll get rid of me that easily. Who else will make me clothes when I’m the size of a whale?” She teased, kissing his temple.

He pulled her closer. “Me. I won’t let anyone else do it. Maybe Kim… but no one else.” 

“God, just promise it’ll be flattering. Maybe some sort of sexy nightie for fun.” She nudged his side as he rolled his eyes. 

“I’ll consider, but for now let’s just make sure your dresses are fitting you well and not giving anything away.” 

She ran a hand across her stomach, smoothing out her shirt. “I can play it off as stress gain, can’t I?”

Giles pulled back and looked her up and down, biting his lip before he spoke again. “Sure, you can. Let me know if you need any alterations to the dresses, there’s more than enough fabric to take out the seams.” 

She laughed quietly, completely glossing over the playful insult he threw at her. “I’ll be certain to do that. I’m sure the poor woman putting me in these dresses will say one too many comments about how it doesn’t fit, then I’ll be crying in your office before you know it.” 

“You? Crying over a dress? Never.” He teased.

Gwen gave an embarrassed smile. “I’ve been emotional, Giles.” 

“You really should go rest, you look just ghastly.” He grinned. 

She couldn’t resist the genuine smile he pulled from her, rolling her eyes as she stood up straight. “Thank you, I will.” 

Gwen made her way to her and Nik’s room, ready to fling off her clothes and crawl into bed. Maybe she’d leave the clothes on… taking them off required effort. Their bags were already unpacked, most of the clothes having been thrown into the hamper in the corner of the room. But her eyes fell on Nikolaj. He was seated on the bed, his hands in a white knuckle grip on the edge of the mattress. 

She cleared her throat. “Everything alright?” 

“When were you going to tell me?” He spat through gritted teeth. 

“Tell you about what?” Her heart started to race, but she tried to remain calm.  _ You’re a decent actress, don’t let the nerves break you down.  _

He stood, looking her in the face with fire burning in his eyes. “You two slept together. A-And what? Now he thinks the baby is his?!” 

“What on  _ earth _ are you talking about?”

“Oh don’t play dumb! You think I didn’t hear you out there? I was actually going to join you for tea because I finished unpacking  _ our _ things, but it seems I caught the middle of your conversation but I really couldn’t be bothered to stay around for the ending.” He set his jaw. 

“Nik, you know how Giles and I are… But we promised each other it would be our last. And besides, he’s only wondering if it’s his to get under my skin.”

“I talked to him, y’know. When you were off at rehearsals or god knows where. We had a small heart to heart about what you two were now, he said he wanted you to start treating me like your future. What the hell happened to that?”

The frustration was building in her, her cheeks were burning up, her heart was thudding heavily in her chest and she could hear the beginnings of blood rushing in her ears. “It was a stupid mistake! God, your jealousy always gets the better of you. You think I stayed with Giles because I liked having sex with him?”

“Well-”

“ _ No!” _ She cut him off. “We went three years without sleeping together! This last year is the most we’ve slept together in the span of a year, and it’s only been twice!” 

“It doesn’t matter how many times! All that matters is that you did it! And you didn’t even have the guts to tell me, Gwendoline. I’m not jealous, I’m  _ hurt! _ ” His final word broke, hot tears burning in the back of his eyes as he fought to keep them at bay. 

Gwen tried to start several different sentences but every beginning died on her tongue.  _ Hurt was a word she didn’t want to hear from him… Hurt is worse than jealousy.  _

He continued before she could even form another coherent thought. “I trust you to tell me anything. Of course keeping the pregnancy a secret was a good thing, but this… you were so ashamed of it, why didn’t you just tell me?” 

“Because that’s exactly it, I’m ashamed! We swore each other to secrecy to never speak of it again, we promised that was our last time and I plan to keep that promise. I knew you would be hurt so I thought I would spare you this hurt.” 

“Talking about it in the open seems like a stupid fucking way of keeping secrets.” He gritted out. 

“Nikolaj, please…” 

“I should go.” 

“Absolutely not. We’re sitting and talking about this.” She plopped her in the middle of the bed. “I refuse to let you walk away and be upset all by yourself.” 

Instead of following her lead, he turned his back to her and walked towards the door. He let out a long, shaky sigh before putting his back against it and sliding down to the floor. 

He let his head hit gently against the hollow wood. “I love you too much to walk away.” 

She carefully moved to the floor, leaning back against the bed with her legs out in front of her. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I should have; you would have been hurt but not like this.” 

Nik only nodded in agreement.

“The sex wasn’t even worth it.” She forced a short laugh. 

He cracked a small smile, but it died out quickly. “What if it is his?” 

“I promise he’s saying it to get under my skin, it’s not-”

“But what if it is?” 

“It’s not. I had this… gut instinct the day we left New York. I know that sounds silly, but I knew in that week we made something happen - I mean, how could we  _ not _ have?” She caught his eyes for a moment, smiling softly at him, hoping to spark that bit of memory when they were carefree and stupidly enamored with one another. 

“Gwen, I love you, but I can’t go off an instinct.” 

Her smile faltered, the small spark of light having been squashed in front of her. “I know.” She chewed the inside of her cheek, her fingers moving anxiously over the fabric covering her stomach. “I’ll schedule an appointment with my doctor… see what she can do.” 

Nik shook his head. “You don’t have to.”

“You can hardly look at me right now, Nikolaj. I’m getting it done so we can put it to rest.” 

A beat. “So if it is his?” 

“What if it is?” She raised a brow. “What, you’re going to leave?” 

He sat up, defensive. “Of course not.”

“Then why does it matter?!” 

“Because I want you to myself, you stubborn woman! I’m still a jealous man! I-I want to be monogamous, I want you to myself - in the least possessive way possible - but I want you to know that I’m serious. I’d raise another man’s baby with you, but I want… I want them to be a perfect combination of us.” 

Gwen stood and sat on the bed, patting the space beside her. “C’mon.” 

Nik pushed himself up, then crawled into bed with her, allowing her to wrap her arms around him and draw his head to her chest. She held him tightly and swallowed the lump forming in her throat. 

“I promise you they’ll be perfect…” She assured him, her voice quiet and wavering. 

He managed the most pathetically small smile as tears slipped down his cheeks, soaking into her shirt. “What would people think if it came out with glasses and grey hair?” 

“You’re such an asshole.” 


	38. 48 Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, lovelies! I've had a busy-ish couple weeks and that unfortunately meant no writing. But here we are! It's done and it's a mess but I liked it. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Gwendoline had scheduled an appointment the very next morning, she couldn’t possibly wait any longer - not when she had two incredibly impatient men at her heels and a heavy cloud looming over her head. Not to mention the play started tomorrow… _Gods, if I have to wait more than a day, all hell will break loose._

She sat awkwardly in the quiet waiting room, Nikolaj to her right and Giles to her left. Both men were attempting to be distant, though they were both touching her, their fingers grasping at her clothing, grazing against her skin, their knees nudging against hers. The people in the waiting room were starting to stare, they were taking notice of who she was - who _they_ were. How could they not? They were three big names and there were all just _sitting there_ , _together._ She felt like she was suffocating. She needed to step away, to get fresh air, to be truly alone for the first time in ages, to get away from the public-

“Gwendoline?” A voice called. 

Gwen’s eyes shot up to her doctor, her lovely lovely doctor who has been nothing but kind and supportive. She had let Gwen cry to her for what seemed like hours after this whole situation arose. Though Dr. Williams was surprised, to say the least, when Gwen had mentioned she was bringing in both men today - but again… nothing but supportive. 

“Come on, love.” She gestured for the three of them to join her. 

Gwen shot out of her seat with a tad too much enthusiasm, taking long strides to be by the woman’s side. She lowered her voice and walked with her down the long hallway. “Thank you for getting us in here so quickly, I really greatly appreciate it.” 

Williams simply laughed. “Gwendoline, really, you’ve been coming to me for years, you act like this is the most outrageous thing you’ve done. I assure you, it’s no trouble.”

A quick glance over her shoulder reassured her that Giles and Nik were following as briskly as she’d hoped. Both walking with their eyes glued to her, wide as if they were following her into some life-altering surgery. 

An hour, some blood samples and cheek swabs later, they were told it would take 48 hours to have the results. _Fuck, fuck fuck_ **_fuck._ **48 long hours where all 3 of them will be out of their goddamn minds. Gwen was perfectly fine with not knowing but both these idiot men will be the death of her. Either way it’ll come out blonde with blue eyes, why does it matter in the slightest. 

_It does matter and you know it, Gwendoline, don’t lie. You couldn’t stand to watch Nik’s heartbroken face if he didn’t see the resemblance. Haven’t you broken his heart enough?_ Shut up. _You have, you do nothing but hurt him._ Stop-

Gwen blinked as she heard it; the quick, methodic, grainy sound of a heartbeat. Not hers, but… _it._

“Oh my god…” Nik muttered. 

She looked to Giles. His eyes were wide with his mouth agape, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. She tore her eyes from him and glued them to the monitor where the tiny bean of a human squiggled and squirmed. She had already felt the immediate attachment to that little clump of cells, the moment she knew for certain she had this air about her. She instantly was in a protective mode that put _it_ above everything else. She slept for it, she ate for it, she wore comfy clothes for it, she rubbed the non-existent bump when no one was around because it made her feel like she was helping. Helping what? She didn’t know. 

_You made that._

She knew Williams was talking to her but she couldn’t hear anything over the heartbeat of her baby and the constant thudding of her own heart. Nik and Giles both looked between the women with perplexed faces, she couldn’t crack what either of them were thinking in that moment. She didn’t care though, she still had two whole days to survive with them, and she imagined they’d be looking at her like that an awful lot. 

The remainder of the day was a blur.

Gwendoline woke up in the dead of night. She hardly remembered anything between leaving the hospital and falling asleep. But something came flooding back.

Nikolaj had cried. He had cried more than she had seen him cry before. His cheeks were a blotchy shade of pink, or at least she surmised they were from the glimpses she caught. He’d buried his face into her stomach as they sat on the couch together, his arms wound tightly around her softening waist - clinging to her as if she’d float away if he didn’t keep a vice-like grip on her. His warm tears soaked through her shirt. His chest heaved and his shoulders shook. 

Gwen could hardly recall what he was whimpering about, she couldn’t make out any complete sentences. But she did what she could to comfort him. She kissed away his tears and stroked his hair, his cheek, sweeping his hair from his forehead to kiss there too. 

“I love you,” she repeated. Over and over she repeated it until she felt the need to change it. “We love you,” came next. She had taken his hand in hers, rubbing soft, slow circles on her stomach. 

She kept him close until the tears stopped, but she was dozing off long before then. 

And now she was here, alone in their bed, with Nik’s side still cold. He hadn’t come to bed. This is one of the few times she decided against finding him and bringing him back to bed with her, they both needed time to think, to sleep it off, she didn’t know. 

Giles had offered the puffy-eyed Dane a glass of a dark amber liquid. “I’m sorry.” 

Nikolaj took it gratefully and sat, running his fingertips along the textured glass. “What do you have to be sorry for?” 

“You know what.” 

Of course Nik knew. He was hoping this talk would come, and luckily it was while Gwen wasn’t around to hear it. “I do, but I was hoping to hear you say it.” 

Giles sighed. “I’m sorry I was with Gwendoline. And I’m sorry that neither of us told you. It _was_ her idea to keep it a secret but it was my idea to…” He cleared his throat. “Copulate.”

Nik grimaced and closed his tired eyes. “Thank you. All in the past now.” It still hurt. It hurt to hear, to think about, to imagine- _no, don’t do that._ But an apology put a bandaid over the gaping emotional wound. 

“You do know it’s yours, right?” 

His brows furrowed. “Gwendoline?” 

Giles huffed a laugh. “That too. No, the _baby_ . Lord knows that between the two of us, it _certainly_ wouldn’t be me to knock her up. I truly did only mention it to her to get under her skin. It seems though she took it a bit seriously.” A moment of pause. “And you.” 

Nik broke his stoic front with a small, half-hearted smile. “I’d love if it were as easy as that. But I can’t say I’ll be sleeping well until I know for sure.” 

“So what if the stars aligned just right and it… weren’t yours. Hypothetically.” 

He shrugged and took a long drink. “I’ll love it regardless. I’ll just be… I don’t know.” 

With a few moments of hesitation, Giles placed a firm hand on Nik’s shoulder. “You have the right to be upset if it isn’t yours. If we’re being truthful, please don’t tell Gwendoline, I’ll be wildly relieved when they say it’s not mine.” He gestured to himself with his free hand. “These genetics are nothing spectacular to be passing along!” He laughed. “Look at you! God, it would be lucky to have those rugged Danish features of yours. A jawline like that.”

Nikolaj narrowed his eyes in thought at the eccentric man beside him. _Is he… hitting on you?_

Giles gave him a warm smile and a pat on the back. “I know that look. But you’re really not my type, I’ll let Gwendoline keep you.” He stood and turned on his heel, taking his still-full glass to bed with him. 

_One can only hope these several hours will pass without any intrusive thoughts._


	39. Peanut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is that what we’re naming them?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My lovelies I am so sorry it's been so long. It's been a big mixture of reasons, but I've returned with two chapters to hopefully make up for the lack of content that I've supplied you with. 
> 
> I can't thank you enough for the love and support you've given me on this strange journey we've taken together. I promise I won't abandoned this without at least giving it some sort of closure - I just may need some time here and there. And who knows, maybe we'll start something new. 
> 
> Well, it's 3am, I've got 3 thousand words between these chapters, let's get into it.   
> (We know the drill, there's mistakes, maybe I'll get around to fixing them.)
> 
> Let me know what you think, babies.

Nikolaj had eventually come back to his shared bed, careful not to disturb the woman sleeping there, pulling her comfortably into his arms. She mumbled some sort of approval before turning to face him and burying her face into his chest. He watched as she clutched at his shirt while her legs intertwined with his. She hummed again before promptly falling back into her still slumber. 

She woke to the morning light cast through the light cream curtains that didn’t serve much of a purpose, they were nearly translucent. _Mental note, get black out curtains so we can sleep in longer._ She groaned. _Just a few more minutes._ She hugged Nik closer, er, what she thought was Nik. Was a bit small and plush to be him. 

Just as she was starting to fade into sleep again, gentle footsteps were headed in her direction. The familiar squeak of the door on its hinges came next. 

_God, if you’re going to wake me, just wake me. Or let me sleep for the next four years._

Nikolaj couldn’t help but smile as he walked into the room. Gwen’s hair was mussed and stuck up in different directions, despite its new length. _It was horrid getting her bedhead to slick down each morning before filming Game of Thrones, the short hairs in the back were wildly unruly. Especially when they were because of me,_ he thought fondly. Her soft cheeks squished together, causing her bottom lip to form a cute pout. The sunlight caught her blonde lashes, illuminating them spectacularly. 

The mattress dipped under Nik’s weight. A warm hand spread across her shoulder and rubbed in a slow, soothing circle. “Gwen, honey?” 

She hummed sleepily in response. 

“I made breakfast.”

“Is that why I smell burning?” She mused. 

He placed a kiss to her bare shoulder. “Would have been worse if you were the one cooking.” 

She turned onto her back and pulled him down to her. He huffed a laugh and laid on his side, hugging her close. He nuzzled his nose into her cheek. “I don’t want to squish Peanut.” 

“Is that what we’re naming them?”

She could feel his ridiculous grin against her skin. “Peanut Christie Coster-Waldau.”

“God, they’re going to have a mouthful of a name.” She groaned, absentmindedly playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck. 

Nik listened to her steady breaths as silence followed her statement, the slow rise and fall of her chest became even slower as she faded back to sleep - now with Nik comfortably in her arms like she wanted earlier. _Growing a baby must be hard work._ He couldn’t imagine how tired she was, even as a first hand witness to all her naps. 

He pressed his lips to her cheek, leaving them there as he murmured, “Today’s a big day, let’s get you two some breakfast.” 

Gwen’s nose scrunched as she shut her eyes tighter. “I’ll be there in a minute.” 

“You’re going to fall asleep.”

“No, I’m not.” She was, if given the chance. 

“You are. Don’t make me carry you.” 

She scoffed and gently swatted his shoulder. “I’d love to see you try.” 

Nikolaj sprang from the bed and started attempting to scoop Gwen off the mattress. Her eyes shot open and immediately started squirming out of his grasp. He grasped her ankle as she tried crawling away. She turned, looking over her shoulder, and met his challenging gaze. A coy grin spread across his face before he swiftly pulled, knocking her on her back. His large, warm hands gripped her hips and drug her to him, his body settled perfectly between her legs. 

Gwen looked from his hands to his face, a stupid, mischievous grin having plastered itself there. She let out a shaky breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. _Now’s not the time, Christie, ravish the poor man later._

He leaned down and kissed her slowly, sensually, as his arms looped around her back. “I think I won this round.” He quickly lifted her off the bed. _God, please don’t groan from the effort that took._

She let out an amused sigh and wrapped her legs around his hips. “Don’t throw out your back.” 

He shook his head and headed for the kitchen. “You’re no heavier than you were during filming.” _A lie._

“You’re so full of shit!” She laughed. 

“Oh, come on, let me flatter you.” 

“So you did lie.”

“To be truthful, you feel about the same. But maybe years of lifting you made me stronger.” He carefully set her down on the kitchen counter, then stepped away to plate up their food. 

“First you _try_ to flatter me, now you’re flattering yourself.” 

His faux pout was met with her amused smirk. She rolled her eyes and hopped off the counter, taking the plate from him. “Thank you.” She kissed his stubbly cheek before sitting down at the table. 

She lifted the fork to her mouth before remembering. “Oh! Darling, I almost forgot, I set up a viewing tomorrow for you to see the house. I don’t imagine I’ll have the time to go see it with you, but I promise my realtor won’t bite.” 

Blinking a few times, he looked over and nodded quickly. “I had almost forgotten too, what with… all _this_ happening.” He gestured broadly, and didn’t need further explanation on what he meant by _this._ “I’d love to see it though.” 

“I’ll let her know that you’ll be going.” 

She dug into her food, rather ravenously, at that. She hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday, she had gone to bed rather early after snuggling a very teary Nikolaj. _You need to get better at that, it’s not just you anymore. Just eat a second lunch before the show. Good idea._

Nikolaj tried to watch in admiration of the woman he loved so dearly, but was far more amused by this barbaric stance she had taken on. Her shoulders were hunched and her head was ducked down, seemingly to shorten the distance between the plate and her mouth - which didn’t seem to stop moving until her plate was entirely clean. When she looked in his direction, he was wise enough to avert his gaze and get rid of that smirk on his lips. 

After having seconds and cleaning up after herself, Gwen showered and got prepared for the long day ahead of her with minimal contact from either man in the house. Giles took off before either of them woke, heading into the office to be alone, but not before leaving a short and lovely note for Gwen. It was simple, telling her how wonderful she was going to do, how dazzling she was going to look, how much he loved her, to break a leg - Gwen had smiled to herself and made a mental note to thank him later. 

Nikolaj was simply busying himself with small things, out of her way. It was almost strange how he avoided her, he’d find reason to exit whatever room she was now occupying, offer to go get something for her so she wouldn’t have to go anywhere.

This was about the test. Gwen knew this would cause a tension between them until they got the results. She could last another 24 hours...right?


	40. Shush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I thought you had forgotten.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of the double update, babies. I hope you enjoy it, I just wanted a silly distraction from the bit of tension {both IRL and in the story, but that's whatever} and I thought this would suffice. 
> 
> Again, 3am, mistakes. Do I even have to remind you anymore? 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Gwendoline stood in front of her dressing room mirror, fixing the way the mic laid against her forehead. She’d been advised time and time again not to touch it. And normally, she wouldn’t, but today it was unusually uncomfortable. She had been uncomfortable ever since she left the house, without at least one of the boys with her. Her underclothes felt suffocatingly tight against her skin. She felt bloated after eating lunch. She felt abnormally queasy up in the silk during rehearsals. She was fidgeting and pacing backstage when normally she found the ease of mind to sit and enjoy the downtime. 

_ Feeling particularly fragile today, are we?  _

She sighed and sat down, her head in her hands, the heels of her sweaty hands rubbing her eyes.  _ Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. You’re being ridiculous, everything is just fine, you’re just nervous. Anxious. On the brink of tears.  _ She tilted her head back, sniffling away what tears were forming in her eyes. _ God I wish Nik were here. _ Gwen hadn’t even asked if either of them were coming tonight…  _ Don’t be disappointed if they don’t show.  _

A knock at the door caused her to jump. Gwen quickly stood and grabbed her robe, wrapping it around herself. “Yes?” 

“It’s me, Miss Christie.” Her dresser. 

Gwen smiled gently and crossed to the door. “Really, Ania, with these formalities. I’ve told you, you can call me- Nikolaj?” The man in questioning stood behind the shorter blonde woman, a dopey grin on his face, hands held innocently behind his back. 

“I didn’t know you were going by Nikolaj now.” He teased. 

Gwen gave an apologetic smile at Ania, who simply rolled her eyes. “He wouldn’t stop pestering the house manager until we brought him back here.” 

“I’m so sorry, he’s a child.” She grabbed Nik by his sleeve and pulled him into the room. “Thank you for bringing him, I’ll be sure to keep him on a shorter leash next time.” 

Ania gave a slight nod. “I’m sure Terri would appreciate that.” And with that, she turned on her heel and walked away.

The door was closed before Gwen put her back to it, finally looking at the idiot before her. He was dressed quite nicely in a blue button down and light grey slacks, the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows to show off his disgustingly toned arms. He had even slicked back his hair for the occasion.  _ God, he cleans up well - who are you kidding? He looks this good all the time.  _

She blinked in surprise as he held out the flowers to her. Bright and colorful, with the faintest of pleasant aromas. She couldn’t help but smile at him.  _ Fuck - don’t cry, don’t cry - _

“You didn’t think I would come, did you?” He drew her close, wrapping her up in his embrace. He only got a small nod in response. “You know I wouldn’t miss this for the world - and on opening night, no less.” He kissed her temple. 

Letting him take some of her weight, she leaned heavily into him. “I’m glad you’re here.” She truly thought he’d avoid her all day, the tension he was exuding earlier was becoming worrisome.

“I have something else for you,” his voice dipped lower. “But I have to give it to you now before I go.” 

Her brows raised curiously, ghosting her lips along the lobe of his ear. “And what might that be?” 

His lips attacked hers with such passion and ferocity her knees nearly buckled, her arms immediately looping around his neck. Blindly, he set the flowers aside and led them to the counter where her street clothes and makeup currently were. A surprised squeak leapt from her throat as something prodded sharply into her ass cheek. She quickly reached behind her and pulled away the offending item - Pat McGrath lipstick,  _ classic. _

Realizing her abrupt outburst, she raised a finger to her lips. “Shh!”

Nik snorted. “You’re shushing me? After you-?” 

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

He laughed his way through their next few kisses, his hands fumbling with the tight undergarments she was wearing, the fabric of it snapping against her skin when he lost his grip. 

Gwen pulled back, her hands on his cheeks, a grin across her face. “What are you on about?” 

“Just you, you amuse me. And god I love you so much.” He placed a much lighter kiss on her lips. “You’re perfectly irresistible.” He trailed his mouth down her neck. “Squeaks.” 

She groaned and laid her head back against the mirror. “I thought you had forgotten.” 

He grinned and licked at the junction of her neck. “Never.” 

“You’re awful,” She teased. “I don’t know why I put up with you.” 

He gave no reply. Instead, he kissed and nipped down her body, his hands kneading at her soft thighs. Gwen occupied her fingers by running them through his growing locks, tugging lightly as he passed the sensitive territory of her breasts. His tongue brushed her naval before he was met with the dead end of spandex. 

_ How the fuck did she even get into this? Did they have to lube her up to get it on?  _

His confusion must have been clear as day, considering Gwendoline so graciously started easing herself out of the restricting contraption with only minimal giggles. He gave a gracious and almost sheepish smile as he lowered himself to his knees -  _ as if he could be shy in this moment -  _ and slid the article of clothing down her miles of leg. He spared one final look up at her  before diving face first between her thighs. 

His large hands gripped her thighs and pulled her ass to the edge of the counter, spreading her legs open to give himself easier access to the feast before him. His hum of contentment sent a strike of lightning through her, a welcome heat rushing to her core. 

Gwen moaned crudely in response, her body having grown extremely sensitive in this time.  _ “God, Nikolaj.” _

He pulled away and turned his head to her inner thigh. “You’re going to have to be far more quiet than that if you don’t want us getting caught.” He sucked a dark bruise into the soft skin there. 

She gave a gentle thwack to the side of his head before gripping his hair once more. “I can handle myself, thank you ve-  _ oh!” _

He locked his lips around her clit and sucked lightly, drawing another, much softer moan this time. He drug his tongue slowly from her clit to her entrance, and back again. He didn’t want to tease her, for once, he wanted to treat her and distract from the hectic mess they were putting themselves through. So he wasted no time, switching between languid drags of his tongue and feverish probing coupled with obscenely sloppy slurps. His nose was nuzzled firmly against her clit as he worked her into a panting, writhing mess. 

She rutted wildly against him, her bottom lip drawn between her teeth to silence her mewls and whimpers. She watched the erotic show below her like her life depended on it. His finely slicked back hair was in disarray, the top two buttons of his shirt were all that were undone - considering that was all that she could reach from this angle. His fingers were clutching her thighs as if they were the only things keeping him grounded there in front of her, she knew there would be bruises to prove it. 

He drew her right to the edge, her eyes clenched shut so tightly she was beginning to see stars as her body tensed. Her heels dug almost painfully into his muscular back, her fingers finding purchase at the edge of the counter, her toes curling as she got close. Close. Closer.  _ Closer. Fuck, closer.  _

He pulled away. 

And right as she was about to rain down the fires of hell, Nik stood, thrust two of his fingers into her dripping cunt, pressed his thumb to her swollen clit, and claimed her mouth. He fucked her mercilessly with his fingers until she was practically screaming into his mouth. Her pussy throbbed and gripped at his fingers while they continued to pump away inside her. Her entire body practically vibrated as electricity coursed through her. 

His fingers slowed and finally came to a stop before removing themselves. His assault on her lips now only a light ghosting while she returned back to earth. “Are you okay?”

She looked at him through heavy lids. “Never better.” She whispered. 

They grinned stupidly at one another, their foreheads pressed together. Nikolaj could have sat there forever - despite his body veiled in fine sheen of sweat, his beard covered in the sweet juices of  _ her _ , and his dick so unbelievably hard it kind of felt like he was going to pass out. Still, forever with her in this bliss-drunken state, perfection. 

A knock at the door. 

_ Perhaps a tad less than perfection.  _

He quickly helped Gwen to stand. She struggled her way back into that death trap fabric she insists on wearing before closing her robe around herself. "Wait, are you going to be okay? We didn't get to take car-"

"I'll be just fine." He kissed her cheek. "Don't worry about it. This was for you, not me."

Despite the unsure look on her face, she nodded. “Yes?” Gwen called out, a tad more hoarse sounding than earlier. 

The dresser’s muffled voice came through the door. “It’s time to get into costume, Miss Christie, but we need to escort your...uhm, friend out to the lobby first.” 

The two shared a look. Nik couldn’t help but smile, lowering his voice. “Friend? Do you have lots of friends that visit you like this?” 

Gwen nodded seriously, turning to fix her hair in the mirror. “All the time.” She spared him another look, giving a quick up down. “You might want to cover that up.” She raised her voice so Ania could hear. “Come and take him away, he’s boring me!” A smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

_ Panic. Cover up your raging boner, Jesus Christ.  _ Grabbing the first thing he saw, he held it in front of him, trying to look natural. 

Ania stepped inside with a rather long garment bag draped over both arms. She quickly assessed the state that both Gwen and Nikolaj were in and said furrowed her brows. 

“Are you going to leave those here for her? We have vases we can put those in.” She nodded towards the flowers covering Nik’s crotch. 

“Oh, god no.” He laughed. “I made a huge mistake and it turns out Gwen here is allergic to them.” 

Gwen nodded nonchalantly. “Quite.” 

“Quite.” He agreed. “So I think it’s best I take them with me so I don’t get in any sort of trouble. But I can show myself out. I’ll be seeing you later.” He gave a small wave and showed himself out. He immediately headed to the nearest bathroom to relieve himself of this awkward situation, rid his beard of any remaining shine, and tame his unruly hair. 

Gwendoline couldn’t keep the stupid smile at bay as she readied herself for the stage. She wouldn’t mind this becoming a nightly thing, it certainly calmed her frazzled nerves. She couldn’t wait to see his stupid face in the audience. 


	41. Tensions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh god, I’m a mess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello again babies, it's been a while again. But I've been busy with new, exciting things in life (new and exciting to me anyways). I hope you like this chapter after I've made you wait for an incredibly long time. I hope it was worth it, at least a little?
> 
> Hopefully I'll have more inspiration in the coming weeks - or at least more than I've had in previous weeks.   
> Hint: There was none, this was far harder than it should have been. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy! Let me know what you think!

Opening night had gone smoothly, it was almost like a dream. Gwendoline was still high on life well into the after-party where both Nikolaj  _ and _ Giles stayed by her side - Giles had shown up long before the show began, according to Nikolaj, and both men sat together to enjoy the show. It must have been an odd sight to behold, three of the tallest people there all huddled together, talking and laughing - but it was still… a strange aura around them that couldn’t be described. But Gwen enjoyed it while she could. 

Nik couldn’t stop fidgeting; tapping his fingers on the side of his champagne flute, fixing the sleeves of his shirt, checking his watch, counting every person that he deemed too close to them. He hadn’t felt this anxious in quite a long time - it was due to Gwen that time as well - it was the day he told Nukaka about them. He’d nearly thrown up, he was so nervous, he felt so guilty and...disgusting. This luckily wasn’t like that, it was a good anxious, or at least he insisted it was a good anxious. Regardless of the outcome, he’d be happy and having a baby with Gwendoline. But he did fight the urge to acknowledge his stomach churning every time he looked in her direction. 

They had all slept horribly, all of them tossing and turning. Getting up and returning back to bed, each time with some useless item they convinced themselves would help aid their restless bodies. Gwendoline only got up once, getting herself a hot mug of tea and finishing it before promptly passing out, spread like a starfish in her bed. Nik was less fortunate, but eventually found sleep out on the living room couch at some ungodly hour of the morning. 

Each awoke with some sort of ache in their body and a shared shitty attitude. 

Gwendoline had brewed coffee for the three of them, but refused to cook for fear that she’d set off the fire alarm yet again - it was a common occurrence. She yawned into her mug. Giles came to the kitchen and began to cook in complete silence, though obviously he was anxious, just like the other two were. He took the coffee she offered with a simple nod of thanks. It was only as Nikolaj joined them and the tense silence arose that her phone started buzzing on the countertop. 

All eyes snapped to the device and read ‘Dr. Williams’ before glancing up and around at one another. Gwen quickly swiped it open and put it on speakerphone. 

“Dr. Williams, good morning.” She greeted in an unusually timid voice. 

“Good morning, Gwendoline. I know it’s quite early, but I take it you’re ready to hear the results.”

Gwen nodded shakily. “I am, yes.”

The gentle sound of paper rustling was reassuring, at least in Gwen’s mind. Williams seemed to be double checking the results before telling them. Or perhaps she was seeing them for the first time herself.  _ Let’s not ponder that too long.  _ “Well, Miss Christie, it seems that Mr. Coster-Waldau is the father.” Though she stumbled her way through the Dane’s name, that was it. The baby was Nik’s. 

Truthfully, it was a good thing that Gwen wasn’t facing either of them, her shoulders slightly hunched and her neck craned closer to the phone - just to make sure she was hearing her correctly. Behind her, both men sunk against the counter in relief. Nik immediately grew a shit-eating grin as Giles rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses, uttering a nearly silent  _ ‘bloody hell, thank god.’ _ They looked at one another and shared a quiet chuckle - never did either of them see themselves in a situation such as this. 

Gwendoline felt Nik’s arms envelop her and nearly sweep her off her feet before she could register what was happening. “Thank you, Dr. Williams!” He said before outstretching his arm and hanging up on the poor woman. 

“I can’t believe you just did that! I was going to further our conversation so you two could continue to celebrate behind me.” She struggled out of his grasp, but he simply dropped to his knees in front of her and placed several small kisses to her stomach. 

“I knew you’d be mine, I just knew it. I had a feeling.” He resumed his onslaught of kisses. 

Gwen let out a deep, relieved breath as she pushed her fingers through Nik’s hair. She glanced in Giles’ direction to find him quietly watching, a small smile playing at his lips. She gave her well-known look of ‘ _ are you okay? _ ’ to which he simply nodded. 

He crossed to her and pecked her cheek. “Congrats. I’ll leave you two be. I’m sure he can manage breakfast without burning the place down, yeah?”

“Where are you going?” She furrowed her brows. 

He smiled softly. “Oh, you know, the usual.” 

She jokingly rolled her eyes at him.  _ Jonathan’s. _ “I’ll see you tonight though, right?”

“You know me, I’ll be there in case you decide to burst out of that dress.” He grinned and patted the side of her soon-to-be growing bump. 

She gaped and promptly smacked his hand away. “I can’t believe  _ either  _ of you! You are just-”

Giles put a hand up. “The worst - I know, I know.” He maneuvered around them and slunk out of the room. “I’ll be seeing you tonight! Maybe I’ll bring Jonathan.” 

With another dramatic roll of her eyes, she smiled, before turning her attention to the man still on the floor. His hands rested comfortably on her thighs, his chin propped on her stomach to look up at her, an easy smile on his face.  _ God what a tender fool.  _

He noticed the shift in her demeanor. Where she had been sarcastic and ready for another quip, it changed drastically. It was calmer, lighter. Her brows furrowing slightly, her smile more faint, though her eyes were softer - like they did when she admired him from afar, when she didn’t think he was paying attention. 

“What?” He questioned. 

“What?”

“What’s with that face?”

She huffed, shaking her head. “I just like you.”

“ _ You?  _ Liking  _ me? _ Never.” He smirked. 

“I do. You know I do.” 

He didn’t miss the sniffle that came after she spoke, nor did he miss the subtle tension in her hands that still rested in his hair. She forced a small laugh before even she could process that her eyes were getting misty.

Nik stood, his hands quickly coming up to cup her cheeks, swiping away any tears that fell down her cheeks. “Oh no no, I know you like me. I promise. I like you too. I like you a lot.” 

She couldn’t help but laugh, the wet streams down her face growing more consistent. “I know that, Nikolaj, jesus.”

He swallowed heavily, watching her with a twinge of fear deep within his eyes. “What’s wrong then?” 

Gwen drew in a long breath before her words came pouring out, perhaps a bit faster than she had intended. “I-I don’t even know, my emotions have been all over the place. My mother says it’s normal and that it’s all the hormones but I can’t get them under control. My pants are already fitting more snugly, I cried about it. I realized I ate the last of my biscuits and I cried. I thought about my mother one day holding our baby, I definitely cried. I thought about us living together and cried some more. And I just...” She trailed off, her eyes finding his once again. 

One look at Nikolaj’s mildly horrified face and she was in hysterics, cackling through her tears and pulling him to her chest. 

“I hope that last one was good tears.” He said hopefully, his uncertain chuckles sounding awkward.

She nodded into his shoulder, her laughter dying down enough for her to speak. “Oh god, I’m a mess.”

“I remember that cookie one.” 

“You do  _ not.” _ She pulled away, searching for the facetiousness in his expression. “You were asleep.” 

“How could I possibly sleep with a hungry bear in bed with me?” He then proceeded to give his best performance of a hungry bear eating, growls and snarls and all. 

She huffed a laugh and gently shoved her hand into his chest. He grasped her wrist and brought her hand to his lips, placing a tender kiss to her palm. 

“Hey,” he kissed again. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

“We’re really going to have a baby.” 

She nodded, drawing him to her again, resting her chin on his shoulder. “We are.” 

“I can’t wait.” He whispered, as a stupid smile crept across his lips. 

“Oh god, I’m crying again.”


	42. Hopefully

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What on earth does that mean?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, lovelies. This is a shorter chapter but I hope it's cute? 
> 
> It's not nearly as late as I usually post but I bet there's just as many mistakes. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Long days and nights of performances had become routine, Giles and Nikolaj would take turns cooking or ordering in food for the three, sometimes four, sometimes two of them. They would spend free hours responding to emails, catching up on television shows, and they continued to search for a home. Unfortunately, the one Gwendoline had found wasn’t for them after all - so the hunt carried on. Giles was in the works of crafting a… slightly larger gown for Gwen - he insisted it wouldn’t be used any time soon, but she could see right through him. 

Well fed and exhausted, both Nik and Gwen were settling into bed. He turned to her and propped his head on his fist. “Gwen?”

She raised her brows at him, though her eyes remained closed. “Yes?” 

“When can I meet your family?” 

Her eyes flew open before narrowing at him. “Why?” 

He gave a short laugh. “We’re having a baby together. We’re, well we’re going to spend our lives together, right? Don’t you think it’s important that I meet them?”    


“I-I don’t...- I do! But I don’t know.” She sighed and laid on her back, staring up at the ceiling.  _ God, we could make a list of all the reasons meeting them would be an awful idea.  _

“It doesn’t have to be any time soon.” He assured her, resting his hand on top of her stomach. “Just before peanut gets here.” 

She groaned. “Can’t you just meet in the delivery room? Just bypass all the pleasantries and judgement and get straight to the family part?” 

“Is that really what you want?” 

She raised her brows again, glancing at him. “It does sound quite nice.” 

Nik wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her flush against him. “How much does your mother know about me? About us? When you mentioned you were pregnant, you… you did say they were mine, didn’t you?” 

“Of course.” She lied. The hot blush that crept up her neck gave her away. 

“Gwendoline!”

“I’m sorry! The last time I called I simply said we didn’t know yet!” 

“But she knows we’ve been sleeping together.” 

“I told her we were seeing one another after you divorced Nukaka. That’s,” she sighed softly. “That’s when I started taking you more seriously. She knows we were together before then - trust me, I’ve gotten lecture after lecture on why it was a horrid idea.” 

“And you told her it was okay because I was ridiculously handsome and great in bed.” He laughed to himself, planting a kiss on her head. 

Smiling in content, she closed her eyes and laid her cheek to his chest. “Obviously.” 

He laughed for another moment before pausing. “Did you really?” 

She nodded against him. “I did. Told her you were the best sex I’d ever had.” 

His brows furrowed together, looking down only to be met with the top of her head. “You told your mother I was your best lay?” 

Gwen groaned and shifted positions, now laying half on top of him with her palms flat on his chest, her chin on the back of her hand. She stared at him drowsily. “I’m pregnant with your child and we’re moving in together, do you  _ really _ need the ego boost?” 

“N-No, I just, I’m shocked. Shocked that you’d tell her things like that. I’d never mention such a thing to my mother.” 

“And that’s a discussion for a different day.” She forced a smile before returning to her side of the bed, taking the blankets with her.

Nikolaj took a moment of pause while he gathered his thoughts. “Why don’t you want me to meet them?” 

“Darling, I do, I just worry…” She chewed the inside of her cheek. “My mother is a bit unpredictable.” 

He buried his cheek into her shoulder. “Unpredictable like you?” 

She could feel his smile and couldn’t help but smile too. “Yeah, you could say that. She’s never been one to ask me many questions, she can read me like a book. But everyone I ever brought home was practically begging to leave by the time she was done with them.” She scoffed. 

“Well luckily for you, I don’t think I’m much like any other man you’ve brought home to your mother.” His hand slid from her side down to her stomach, toying with the fabric bunched there. “We’ll be okay. I’m not going anywhere, no matter how badly it goes. I’m here for you and I’m here for Peanut.” 

Resting her hand on top of his, she nodded - mostly in reassurance to herself.  _ He’s here to stay. He’s not leaving. He loves you.  _ “We really need to not call them Peanut for too long, before you know it it’s going on the birth certificate.” 

“I’ll be sure to think of some Danish names you’ll hate.” He grinned.

“I’ll listen to each and every one-”

“And decline them all in a typical Gwen fashion.” He planted a kiss to her freckled skin. 

“What on earth does that mean?” She flipped over so they were face to face, their noses brushing against one another. 

Nik threw his hands up dramatically, putting on his best impression of her. “Well I just don’t think-!”

She slapped a hand over his mouth. “You’re just awful.” 

His lips curved upward beneath her hand. 

“You’re not wrong though.” She replaced her hand with her lips, kissing him gently. 

He happily kissed her again. “We’ll think of something soon. But for now, they’ll stay Peanut.” 

“It’ll have to do.” She cuddled back into him and shut her eyes. 

“I have a feeling your mother will like it.” 

She hummed in agreement. “When do you want to meet her?” 

“Hopefully shortly after you agree to marry me.” 

It took a long moment before it finally sunk in. Gwen’s eyes shot back open and she sprung up. Her heart began to race almost as quickly as her mind was, her eyes searching his for insincerity and she was met with nothing but loving adoration. All she could manage to squeak out was a meek “what?” 


	43. Ask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you wanted me to show you, all you had to do was ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why hello lovelies, I hope you've been liking these chapters. I'm trying to see it through until the end, and your input is always welcome and definitely keeps me going. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

“What?” 

“Well I certainly wasn’t hoping to ask like this…” Nik rubbed the back of his head.

Gwen tried racking her brain for words, any words at all, but all she could do was stutter. Stumbling over her own words, her tongue refusing to cooperate. She panicked. Nikolaj watched her quickly get out of bed and begin pacing. Her hands fidgeting around one another, shooting through her hair, one occasionally drifting to comfort the life in her before being dragged back to her face. She stopped, leaning against the doorframe, her hands covering her face. 

“You’re not being serious.” She mumbled. “You can’t possibly be.” 

His brows furrowed, hurt by her reaction. A stinging pain he wasn’t expecting. “No. ‘Course not.” He stood and walked to the closet, grabbing a light jacket from inside.

She looked at him through the cracks between her fingers. “What are you doing?” 

“Going to take this stupid thing back.” He reached into the pocket of the jacket, pulling out a small box, before discarding the jacket onto the bed. 

Gwen let out a heavy sigh and pushed herself off the wall, positioning herself in front of the door. “Stop that.” 

“Stop what?” He shrugged nonchalantly. “You don’t want it, might as well get my money back.” He went to push past her but she put a hand to his chest. 

“Can you just listen?” She used what little height she had on him to look down at him. “Please?” 

He rested his forehead on her shoulder, leaning into her, Gwen took that as her cue to go on. 

“Nikolaj, I really don’t like marriage. You know that… I’d like to think I’ve been rather transparent about that. It’s not that I don’t love you,  _ clearly _ I do.” She brought him closer, playing with the short hairs at the nape of his neck. “They don’t work… and they put strain on relationships. Haven’t we already put up with enough as is?” 

“They work for some.” 

“Yes, for some they work wonders.” 

“It would work for us-”

“You just ended a 20 year long marriage. I don’t think you’re in a good position to go proposing a new one.” She smiled faintly, trying to lighten his dour mood. “I love you endlessly, Nik, I don’t need a big, expensive, fancy, **_expensive_** day.” 

She felt him huff a laugh into her neck. She continued, “Do you have any idea how much money we would be blowing just for me to be anxious, drunk, and legally bound to  _ you _ \- of all people?!” She grinned. “I mean, I’d look amazing while we did it, but don’t you… don’t you think a baby and a house is enough?” 

There was a short pause before he nodded reluctantly. 

“We have a lot on our plate. But we have everything we need right here.” 

“Would you at least… wear the ring?” 

“Of course I would - will - I will.” She turned and kissed his cheek. “Let me see?” 

He nodded against her shoulder and held the box out to her. She took it delicately and paused, hesitant to see what Nikolaj would pick out for her - would he have picked something overly feminine and flashy? Would it be some ridiculous show of wealth to...claim her? Or would he go a simpler route? Would it be an heirloom?  _ God, please don’t let it be an heirloom. Maybe just look at it already.  _

She opened the small, velvet box and looked between their bodies at the ring. It was a decently sized oval cut diamond, with significantly smaller ones adorning the two bands that met together in the back. It was silver and not gold,  _ thank god.  _ It was… perfect, honestly. It wasn’t at all something she would pick for herself but knowing that he must have spent hours searching for something that he saw fit for her, it was wonderful. 

She fought off a small sniffle as she smiled. “I love it.” 

“Do you?” She heard the smile in his voice, he just wanted to hear it again. 

“I love it, and I love you too.” She lifted her head to kiss his cheek. He cupped her hand that was holding the small box, taking the ring with his free one. 

She chuckled softly. “Are we being all official about this?” 

He grabbed her right hand instead of her left, sliding the ring onto her index finger. “No.” He brought her knuckles to his lips. 

“Thank you. I do really love it, it’s beautiful.” She brushed her fingertips along the back of his hand, to his palm, before drawing it up to her cheek. “You’re not still thinking of leaving, are you?” 

He shook his head quickly. “I didn’t really want to in the first place.” 

She smiled gently. “Good. C’mon, let’s get back into bed.” She placed a kiss to his palm before leading him back to their shared bed. 

Nik put his jacket away, tucked the ring box in his nightstand, and flopped into bed gracelessly. Gwen hid her amusement and buried herself beneath the blankets. 

“Nik?” Her tone was far lighter - playful, almost. 

“Hmm?” 

“Isn’t it… strange that not that long ago you had said ‘ _ we’ll give one final hurrah _ .’” She snickered. “That we’d ‘ _ go out with a bang. _ ’ And now we’re here? I was so worried about you holding my hand in public before. That week in New York had changed everything.” 

He smiled fondly at the memory. “We let the public in on us. We made a baby. We started looking for a home shortly after.” 

“Still working on that one.” She sighed. 

“You’re still working incredibly hard at one of those.” He slid his hand to her stomach, caressing it gently. 

“Only going to get more difficult.” 

He enveloped her in his arms and drew her close, kissing her tenderly. “You’re going to look so gorgeous, big-bellied and glowy in the face.” 

Gwen didn’t miss the subtle roll of his pelvis against her hip. She pulled back with a growing grin. “That doesn’t… that doesn’t turn you on, does it?”

He scoffed. “No!” 

“Do you really get all hot and bothered thinking about me like that? My stomach round and huge and in the way, my face getting chubby, my everything growing soft? Really?” It was a genuine question, she truly was baffled how  _ that _ would be attractive, especially in the horrible way she was imagining it. 

His squirming now was far too obvious and gave her the answer she needed. 

“Oh my  _ god!”  _ She climbed her way on top of him, sitting on his thighs. “You absolute madman, are you sure?”

“No, no, forget about it. Go to bed, you’re exhausted. You’ve got another long day tomorrow.” He carefully tried to wrestle her off of him, grasping at her hands and using them as leverage to flip them over. 

She gave him a challenging stare and locked her legs around him. “Nik, I just want to know if you’re being serious.” 

“Of course I am! It’s incredibly attractive now and it’s going to be even more so later. There’s just...something about a woman pregnant with your baby that is so incredibly arousing.” 

“I truthfully thought I would have to spare you.” 

“Spare me?” 

Gwen sighed as she dropped her legs from around him, her hands drawn together to fidget with one another. She went to speak, but shrugged instead, any words dying on her the tip of her tongue. 

“You thought I wasn’t going to find you attractive anymore.” Not a question, a statement. 

She hesitantly nodded, now feeling a tad stupid for even conjuring the thought. They’d changed so much in the last decade, and they had been together every step of the way - from hair to weight to size to mental and emotional state - they had seen it all.  _ Why would this be any different? _

He dropped a kiss to her cheek. “If you wanted me to show you, all you had to do was ask.” 


	44. Day Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is that why your head is so big? Full of insults?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello darling lovelies. It's been a while, my apologies for that. Ummm happy new year? 
> 
> I really really tried to write smut to follow up that last chapter and it was just NOT going to happen. So my apologies for that as well. So here's this instead! I hope you enjoy. New year, same bitch, there's no fixing what is incorrect. 
> 
> Your comments are always welcomed and much appreciated! I love you all so dearly!

“Gwendoline, Giles says you’re taking today off. Is that right? Can you even do that? Is your understudy any good?” He wandered into their still temporary bedroom, their clothes still littering the floor and bed from last night. “I don’t think you can fake being sick for a play like this, lots of people are coming to see _you._ ”

The sound of vomiting from down the hall caught his attention. “I’m not faking!” She gagged. 

“Oh my god. I-I didn’t even know.” Nik beelined straight to her, only to be met by the door she promptly kicked shut. He rapped on the door with a single knuckle. “Do you need anything?” 

He could hear her draw a shaky breath. “Just water. Please…” 

With a nod to himself, he left and procured the glass of water before returning, mildly delighted to see she opened the door for him. “Are you feeling better?” 

Gwen looked up at him, her head resting against the wall. “Oh, just wonderful.” She forced a small smile, though her voice dripped with sarcasm. Truthfully, she looked awful. With a lack of sleep due to him mixed with growing a fetus and doing a show eight times a week, the bags under her eyes were intense, she was paler than normal, and her eyes were bloodshot. 

“Maybe having today off will be good.” He kneeled beside her and held out the water. “You can sleep, eventually I can make you food-” Her body visibly lurched forward at the thought. “-Or maybe not. We can have lots of water.”

“I took today off because I wanted to take you to meet my mother. She’s in town.” She groaned. “Not because I was sick. This is what I get for lying.” 

A hint of a smile broke across his face. “You were going to dedicate a whole day to this?” 

“Oh god no, I wanted to do this early in the day and then have the remainder of it to recover.” She chuckled softly into her cup, willing herself to keep the liquid down. 

“Can we still go meet her? If you’re feeling up to it, of course.” He had a glint of hopefulness behind those blue eyes of his. 

He was quite giddy about this. He’d met her mother in passing, briefly, years ago when Gwen was showing her around the after party for a season premiere; though neither of them stayed for long. The small, frailer looking woman had gone around and greeted everyone so politely, it was almost humorous how quiet and tame she was compared to her daughter. But now was going to be different, he was being introduced as the partner, boyfriend, baby daddy, _whatever_ \- it didn’t matter what - and he was excited! 

“I’ll give her a ring shortly… I just need to know I can keep _something_ down.” She eyed the glass in her hands. 

“Take all the time you need.” He placed a kiss to her forehead. “Do you want to go lay back down?” 

She contemplated for a moment before taking his outstretched hand and stood. 

It was only a few hours later that they were walking to Gwen’s favorite coffee shop where her mother was surely already waiting. It was a quiet hole in the wall type place that hopefully wouldn’t draw too much attention to them. Her stomach was still rolling and churning at the thought of food, but she couldn’t pass up this opportunity to properly introduce two of her favorite people. _God, we should have done this sooner. Do you think she’ll be disappointed that it’s not Giles’?_ Doubt it. 

“You look nervous.” Nikolaj stated, offering his hand to her. 

She scoffed quietly and laced her fingers through his. “I am.” 

She couldn’t help but still feel butterflies as she held his hand. Doing so in the open, regardless that they had announced it to the world indirectly, still caused her nerves to kick in. The little voice in the back of her head, speaking from years of secrecy, screamed at her to put some distance between them. But she resisted. 

“If she’s anything like you, she’ll be a delight.” He reassured, giving her slightly clammy hand a squeeze. 

She guffawed, loud enough to scare a few pigeons from their resting places, and practically doubled over. “You are _so_ full of it! We despised each other when we first met!” 

He put his free hand to his chest in mock offense. “We got on great!”

“Need I remind you of all the insults?” She playfully nudged him as they rounded the corner. 

“Oh, no, they’re all stored up here.” He tapped his temple. 

“Is that why your head is so big? Full of insults?” 

“It’s not that big!” He choked out through his laughter. 

“It is!” She lowered her voice to him. “That’s why I’m so worried for Peanut. Poor thing.” 

“Poor thing? No, no, poor _you_.” 

She shook her head and grinned, before realizing they were at the shop. Her grin faded into an uncertain smile and she spared a glance to the man beside her. 

Nik pulled the door open for her. “After you.” 

She took a nice deep breath before walking in, immediately spotting the petite woman at a table by herself. She looked a bit more frail than she had last remembered, but she was getting up there in age, Gwendoline knew that - thank god she could finally give her a grandbaby after her brother stole that spotlight from her nearly 12 years ago. Long strides brought her right into her mother’s arms, squeezing her tight. 

With her nose buried into her mother’s shoulder, she managed to mutter. “I missed you.” 

The older woman chuckled and rubbed Gwen’s back. “I missed you too, darling.” She pulled away, looking up to meet her daughter’s eyes. “Is he here? Do I get to meet him?” 

“You’re not even excited to see me!” She exclaimed, smiling in an open-mouthed gape. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, of course I am. But I’m formally meeting the father of grandchild-”

“Who ever said he was?” 

Philippa cocked her head to the side with a knowing smile. “Dear, I may be old but I’m not blind and I’m _not_ stupid.” 

Gwendoline went to banter on the matter, but clammed up as she stepped backwards and felt a hand on her lower back. He smiled and placed a kiss to her temple, then moved in front of her with an outstretched hand. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you again, Mrs. Christie.” 

Philippa looked past him at her daughter. “Is he always this orthodox?” Gwen shook her head no. “Well it’s a pleasure to meet you again.” She pulled him in fiercely and hugged him. 

Surprised, he hugged her back, a smile creeping its way onto his face. “What brought you into town?” 

“Well my daughter’s in a play and she’s having a baby, that seems reason enough, yeah?” 

“Well when you put it that plainly.” He chuckled and took his place back at Gwen’s side. 

Gwen smiled softly. “The usual, mum?” 

“Please. And you-” She looked at Nik. “Have a seat with me.” 

Gwen gave a quiet “good luck” before walking over to the ordering counter. Nikolaj turned to the smaller woman and gave an unsure smile before taking a seat across from her. 

“So I know this is a bit strange, considering…” He trailed off, trying to think of the right words. 

“Everything.” Her smile seemed rather sympathetic, though she was hard to read, much like Gwen.

"Everything." He echoed in agreement. 

“I really thought one day this situation would arise - whether you were still with your wife or not.” Her expression changed. “Are you?” 

“No! No, no. That ended - officially, legally - quite some time ago. But we were mutually not together for,” A deep sigh escaped him. “Much longer.” 

“Gwennie told me you two were sneaking around for years before this, but that girl lies through her teeth to stay out of trouble.” She smirked, almost as if proud. “How long has it _really_ been?” 

“Six years, off and on. We danced around one another the first year, maybe, before we did anything about it.”

“When did you _know_?” 

He knew what she was implying, and he wanted to give a decent answer. Taking a moment of pause, he thought. He’d given Gwen the answer to this question before, but he took this silence to really think. Thinking to when he couldn’t stand watching her leave his hotel, to when her playful smiles filled his stomach with butterflies, and thought of every time he caught himself getting misty eyed when they had to part - not that he would ever openly share _that_ part to Gwen _or_ her mother. 

“I knew early on… earlier than I’d like to admit. It was back when we were filming season 3. That was, god, 2012?” He ran a hand through his scruff. “We were on a high of getting to know each other. We spent days on end together, both on set and off.”

She tapped her nose. “That was the year Gwen had that first pregnancy scare, wasn’t it?” 

“What?”

Gwen’s voice appeared behind him. “ _What_?”


	45. Passed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think you passed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't leave you waiting forever on this one, how surprising! I don't know where this came from but we're just going to enjoy it, lovelies. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Your comments are always welcomed and appreciated!

“ _What?_ ” 

Philippa furrowed her brows at her daughter and cocked her head to the side. “I thought…” 

Nik looked at her curiously. Behind him, Gwendoline shook her head, perhaps a bit too vigorously. _Come on, mummy, read those fucking social cues. Feel those brainwaves. Shut your mouth._

“Maybe… I was mistaken.” The older woman’s voice twinged up in the end, almost ending it in a question. 

_Good save, mum._ Gwen closed her eyes for a moment, then set down the tray of drinks, passing them to their respective owners before taking her place beside Nik. He simply looked between the two women with a perplexed expression, his hands fidgeting with one another in his lap. 

He let the tension hang in the air before clearing his throat. “So…”

“Yes. To make a long story short.” She gave her mother a pointed look. “I did have a scare. I didn’t tell anyone but my mother, Giles, and Alfie… and Lena - she caught me at a bad time - and I thought I had sworn them to secrecy, but-” 

“I’m sorry, pigeon!” Philippa exclaimed. “I thought you had told him, it’s been years.” 

“He was _married!_ I wasn’t going to tell him.” She placed a hand over Nik’s, turning her attention to him. “It really wasn’t that big of a deal, I was a couple days late and I had assumed the worst, but it came that same day - I took a test just to be certain - and I became _a lot_ more careful. I didn’t want to worry you. Things were different then.” 

Nik started to pull away, shaking his head in disbelief. “Let me get this straight; you thought you were pregnant with my child and you thought it was a good idea to keep that a secret? And yet you couldn’t even keep it to yourself so you told a couple of our close friends?”

“Yes. But really, Lena walked in when-” 

“Why didn’t you tell me any time after that? Were you planning on keeping me in the dark forever?” 

Gwen narrowed her eyes at him slightly. “Yes.” She gave a curt nod, as though that were the most obvious answer she could give. “Nikolaj, if I were to tell everyone every time I had a pregnancy scare, I’m sure you and many others would think less of me. I had an adventurous part of my life that led me to some poor decisions.” 

“I would have liked to know.” He said meekly. 

“It was a new affair and we were filming those scenes in the baths at the time, do you really think that would have been an opportune time? You were trying to get home to see your family after we flubbed that scene a couple dozen times. Did I mention it was still a new affair?” Trying to lighten the mood, she smiled softly. 

Nikolaj nodded slowly, though his brows relaxed and the harsh line of his mouth softened. “That wouldn’t have gone very well.” 

“Precisely. I truly only did it to protect you. And...not telling you would have kept you from being upset like you are now.” 

“I’m not _that_ upset.” He gave a slight smile. “Have you had other scares with me?” He laced his fingers through hers, watching her face still. 

“Only one, but you were made well aware of that one.” She gave a reassuring nod which he returned. Her attention returned to Philippa. “Any other controversial questions you’d like to ask?” 

The older woman gave a sly grin. “Are you getting married?” 

“No, next question.” 

She quirked a brow, grabbing Gwendoline’s unoccupied hand. “Then what’s this?” 

Nik chimed in. “A mutual partnership ring.” 

Pleasantly surprised by that answer, Gwen smiled, echoing back. “It’s a mutual partnership ring. We’re buying a house and having a baby, I think that’s quite close to biting off more than we can chew.”

“Have you told your family yet, Nikolaj?” 

He sighed and rubbed his temple. “No. I’ve been trying to find a good way to tell my girls.”

“And your wife?” Philippa pressed. “Oh, I’m sorry, ex-wife.” 

Gwen fixed a scowl on her face. “Mum.” 

He continued, ignoring their comments. “I want to tell them before we announce it publicly, obviously. I’m planning on telling them all together with Gwendoline present, if she’s okay with that. I don’t know how yet, but… soon.” He nodded, mostly to himself, getting lost in thought. 

“Darling, I would love to. We’ll find a nice way to break it to them gently. I doubt Nukaka will care much, but we shall see.” She gave his hand a comforting squeeze. 

“And what about poor Giles, Gwennie?” The older woman sipped her drink before resting her chin on her fist. “Is he okay with all of this?” 

“Well he’s still quite involved in our lives. He’s planning on staying around, if that’s what you’re meaning.” 

“You know how much I enjoy his company!” 

“Good thing he’s not going anywhere then.” Gwen shot Nik a look that clearly read _she does this shit all the time._ He returned her hand squeeze in hopes to keep her calm. 

“Is he going to help pick a name?” 

The couple answered in unison, though their answers were on opposite ends of the spectrum. They both turned to one another and gave quizzical faces.

“What do you mean, ‘ _absolutely_ ’?” 

“What do you mean, ‘ _no_ ’?” Gwen countered. “I don’t mean he’d have a 33% say, but what if he has a fantastic name suggestion? We also both have some pretty big opinions, he could be a key factor in helping us decide. As much as I hate to admit it, he’s incredibly reasonable and… quite good at looking at all options equally.” She gave a small smile in almost a reminiscent way. 

Nik pursed his lips for a moment before he gave a reluctant nod. “He is quite fair.” 

Gwen gave a quiet chuckle. “Thank you.” 

“For what?” 

“Agreeing with me. I know you hate it.” She kissed his cheek tenderly. 

When they both faced forward again, they were met with Philippa’s sly grin, her chin resting delicately atop both her fingers that were laced together. She hadn’t bothered to chime in after her initial question and took that time to simply watch the couple interact. It was what she had expected, having seen them together in interview after interview - she was also so supportive of Gwen, though it may have been from a distance - but seeing it in person, with little prompting, it became far more clear how stupidly enamored they were with one another. It had brought a sense of comfort, knowing they were so at ease with each other, so naturally in tune despite their differences. 

“What? What, what is that face? Do you have another question? Is it a bad one?” Gwendoline scanned her mother’s face for any trace of malice, her eyes narrowing. 

“No!” Philippa laughed. “It’s just you. You two are just delightful. I never thought you would find someone like this for yourself, pigeon. It’s good.” She patted her hand gently. “I’d love to do dinner after your show sometime this week.” 

And with that, Philippa stood, rounded the table and placed a kiss on her daughter’s temple, and left without another word. The two, now left alone, watched the older woman exit unceremoniously, in a baffled silence. The only noise that remained was that of the few workers chattering, the indiscernible quiet music overhead, and the jingle of the door opening and closing. 

Slowly, Gwen faced Nik. “I _think_ you passed.” 


End file.
